My husband has no interest in me - am I really that boring?

[Amisoboring]

I struck me last week that my husband seemingly has no interest in me as a person or my life. I couldn’t think of the last time he’d asked me a question about myself that wasn’t related to the house or DC. I decided for the next week that I’d see if he asked me anything about my day or my thoughts on anything.

He hasn’t!! Not once. I ask him everyday when he gets in from work if his day was okay, if anything good or bad happened. He never returned the question. At most he’ll ask if the kids have had a good day.

Tonight I was at the end of my patience and after asking him about his day, when he obviously didn’t ask me the same question, I asked if he was ever going to ask me how my day was. He was very flustered and blurted out ‘did you get much work done today’. I answered, then that was it, no further discussion.

Later on once the DC were asleep I sat down and explained to him that I don’t feel he has any interest in me. His reply was ‘oh,sorry’. That’s it. He hasn’t mentioned it since or really interacted with me so I’ve taken myself off to bed.

We have two nursery aged children, and I do most of the childcare. But I’m also a researcher and work at a University part time, so definitely have things going on to chat about outside of the kids.

Am I just a horribly boring person, or are other people’s husbands like this too? Has anyone doing a good way to address it? It’s certainly not how I want to spend the rest of my life.

https://www.amazon.co.uk/3000-Unique-Questions-About-Me/dp/1952568005/ref=dp_prsubs_sccl_1/260-0971852-8393069?pd_rd_w=WCyZt&content-id=amzn1.sym.08ee1382-604f-46b2-9a78-c4001d59c7bd&pf_rd_p=08ee1382-604f-46b2-9a78-c4001d59c7bd&pf_rd_r=VA99HNS3GYS21NQQJX6X&pd_rd_wg=MZAFo&pd_rd_r=fde0c4e9-98c7-45b6-a71c-564d6caa510e&pd_rd_i=1952568005&psc=1

My ex-husband was like this. It was all part of a bigger picture of him basically thinking he was better than everyone, including me. It was all part of him devaluing me. He made me feel as if I was boring one, but in fact, I'm very interested in people and a huge range of things, whereas he was pretty cut off from the world and other people. Ultimately, he was a very boring person himself.

No one should have to be in a relationship with someone who has no interest in them. Quite apart from the obvious question of why are they even with that person if they're not interested in them, it's emotional abuse. Speaking from my own experience, it will only get worse.

This.

Why would YOU be boring because your husband is a crass, uninterested boor?

This is a trait some people have. I know plenty of women like it, but it's more common with men as their communication skills are sometimes less developed.

It doesn't mean they don't care but they're probably inward looking people, kind of like children, who see themselves as the main character.

My husband is a bit like it, and I keep reminding him in social interactions he must ask questions, but he's not like that at all with me. He can listen to me for hours and is always interested in what I have to say, which is good since I'm a chatterbox and he's not.

There are many people in relationships who are truly not compatible but the overwhelming attraction during finding a partner to mate with takes over and basically it's the luck of the draw if you get an emotionally mature one.

It's difficult to know whether he is devaluing you or whether he's so comfortable that he can only truly relax with you.

He sounds selfish and self absorbed.
Is he pulling his weight?
If not, then insist he does.
I would think your marriage sounds very dead.
Thank goodness you work.
Is this a recent development, or has he always been a bit lazy? Your children are very young for this.
He sounds checked out.