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Original poster

Typed partners name into google- freaking shocked

91 replies

Umwelt · 02/11/2023 20:32

we have been together two years. we are very close and open (so i thought). i was updating my ICE details at work and typed her name in google as i know my lot might too.
it turned out she was in big brother (foreign country version) and had sex on tv.
she fcuked a bloke she just met on live tv and almost marry him. this was 20 years ago.
i am lost.
as far as i knew, she was with someone else at the time show was recorded.
so i do not care about her decisions at the time but why the fcuk not share something this significant. i dont care about the past, we all have it but if it is on the net then maybe.

OP posts:
Original poster
Umwelt · 02/11/2023 21:25

i am not a saint. i dont judge her for what she did, i just think this is one of those things you share with someone you are building future with.
it changes nothing but the fact she did not share this (and she shared a lot of things i'd be happy to not know about) is a bit upsetting .
i love her to bits and this is not a breakup situation, just "Why didnt you tell me" situation

OP posts:
AmazingSnakeHead · 02/11/2023 21:25

Umwelt · 02/11/2023 21:17

she did say she almost got married on national tv and i somehow dismissed that. f me i should have been asking questions then

Show quote history

Oh in that case I think she hasn't done anything wrong. She told you the main thing, yeah that was your opening to ask about it.

Codlingmoths · 02/11/2023 21:26

Umwelt · 02/11/2023 21:17

she did say she almost got married on national tv and i somehow dismissed that. f me i should have been asking questions then

Show quote history

So she basically started to tell you, you dismissed her opening up about her past so she never got to the point where she nearly had sex on tv? What a shock.

I don’t understand people who use phrases like fuck buddies but refuse to write fuck. casual partners? Flings? One night stands? Casual sex? There are so many options if you don’t actually like fuck.

Itsnotchristmasyet · 02/11/2023 21:27

I can see why you’d be shocked by this.

My opinion would change if I knew the man I had been dating is a cheat.

The fact that it was so public would also make me feel upset that they wouldn’t share such a huge part of their life with me.

I don’t think you need to tell you partner everything but certain things you should like if you’ve been engaged, been to prison, been in a Tv scandal like this one.

But you’ve been together 2 years.
If the relationship is otherwise good then I would just speak to her about it and go from there.

It’s very likely that she didn’t tell you when you first met because she didn’t want you judging her.
But then she wasn’t sure when to tell you and then it got past the time of being able to tell you.

She is probably deeply ashamed of her actions and sees it as another life.
We’ve all got baggage that we’d rather forget.

Original poster
Umwelt · 02/11/2023 21:27

Goodfood1 · 02/11/2023 21:23

What happens on those shows is mainly staged by production. Done to create scandals and keep viewers watching

we are talking continental Europe here, stuff happened and tv station almost lost license to broadcast.

OP posts:
BrimfulOfMash · 02/11/2023 21:28

I really feel sorry for everyone young enough to have their youthful ridiculousness preserved forever for anyone to see.

Your partner is a victim of this. TV production companies wind people up to cross boundaries. She maybe feels this is a humiliating albatross that she wants to bury.

If your partner is now clearly mature, lovely etc, maybe offer support and solidarity rather than having an ego driven tantrum as if her behaviour 20 years ago affects your honour or something.

Myfabby · 02/11/2023 21:29

i don't get it. you love her to bits. you won't leave. whats the point of this thread?

aloadofbowlocks · 02/11/2023 21:29

So you've been together two years and you have only just Googled her now?

Hmm
Thegoodbadandugly · 02/11/2023 21:31

20 years ago it's a longtime, as a person she will be completely different to what she was then

BrimfulOfMash · 02/11/2023 21:31

It was entirely the TV station and Production Company’ choice and decision to broadcast. They can edit. But they wanted sensation driven ratings… and they used your partner.

Drop your pompous judgemental attitude.

BrimfulOfMash · 02/11/2023 21:32

Just ask her ‘why didn’t you tell me?’ . And LISTEN. Empathetically.

almondseagull · 02/11/2023 21:33

Ibizabar · 02/11/2023 20:57

It's fuck.

fuck yeah

Original poster
Umwelt · 02/11/2023 21:35

Codlingmoths · 02/11/2023 21:26

So she basically started to tell you, you dismissed her opening up about her past so she never got to the point where she nearly had sex on tv? What a shock.

I don’t understand people who use phrases like fuck buddies but refuse to write fuck. casual partners? Flings? One night stands? Casual sex? There are so many options if you don’t actually like fuck.

Show quote history

fair point, i guess i drew a line and was happy with us as we were and past was past, except maybe the national tv bit, but yes, i am not complaining as i pretty much asked her not to talk about past.
in my head past was things noone else knew about, totally private.
this is out there in the open.

OP posts:
allaloneandlost · 02/11/2023 21:36

I find this thread difficult to believe tbh. Most people would have Googled and asked about this early on rather than taken two years.

And then why post about it on a public forum if you wanted to keep it private?

Original poster
Umwelt · 02/11/2023 21:37

BrimfulOfMash · 02/11/2023 21:31

It was entirely the TV station and Production Company’ choice and decision to broadcast. They can edit. But they wanted sensation driven ratings… and they used your partner.

Drop your pompous judgemental attitude.

there is nothing judgemental about my attitude, we are both very open and like sex, no problem here, i'd just rather hear this from her than accidently find out on the net.

OP posts:
Jewelspun · 02/11/2023 21:37

Imagine finding out years later that this is your partner -

😩😂

%3D%3D
MinnieL · 02/11/2023 21:38

That’s pretty brutal. I wouldn’t like to find that out via a Google search at all

Jellykat · 02/11/2023 21:39

So really, you both fucked up a bit on the old communication.. but have a great relationship.. have a quick natter, and move on to live happily ever after.
Job done!

Cosywintertime · 02/11/2023 21:39

Don’t get this at all. And with that, if this is real. I mean you not her. If I found this out about my husband I’d be like oi, what’s this? I’d certainly not say nothing and start a thread on mumsnet like it was hot gossip you just had to share.

category12 · 02/11/2023 21:40

Umwelt · 02/11/2023 21:35

fair point, i guess i drew a line and was happy with us as we were and past was past, except maybe the national tv bit, but yes, i am not complaining as i pretty much asked her not to talk about past.
in my head past was things noone else knew about, totally private.
this is out there in the open.

Show quote history

Your "I don't care about the past, I'm not judgemental, the past is private, not complaining.."

looks very much like freaking out and telling the internet.

jupitermonket · 02/11/2023 21:40

Umwelt · 02/11/2023 21:27

we are talking continental Europe here, stuff happened and tv station almost lost license to broadcast.

Show quote history

OP you really need to rethink your posts, and ask for them to be taken down. You’ve given a lot of VERY identifiable details about this poor woman, including her present day mental health.

You’re shocked about what you’ve found out about her from the internet - imagine what she will feel when she is alerted to this thread, written by her partner, shaming her publicly for something she did twenty years ago, and discussing the future of their relationship with a bunch of strangers?! Imagine finding out that information about YOURSELF.

You should have massively anonymised details about her before posting for advice. This poor woman is having her entire life and history dug up (and I GUARANTEE that many of the readers will already be Googling furiously to try to find out exactly who she is) for public discussion.

You can’t change her past, but you can change this. Please do, for her sake.

Original poster
Umwelt · 02/11/2023 21:40

allaloneandlost · 02/11/2023 21:36

I find this thread difficult to believe tbh. Most people would have Googled and asked about this early on rather than taken two years.

And then why post about it on a public forum if you wanted to keep it private?

Edited

i did, but it didn't come up on page 1

OP posts:
RosaMoline · 02/11/2023 21:41

With all this repeated use of ‘lol’
and ‘rofl’ 🙄 (you sound extremely juvenile by the way) - you don’t sound exactly devastated by this shocking discovery & I think you’re on the wind up. Reported.

Original poster
Umwelt · 02/11/2023 21:42

jupitermonket · 02/11/2023 21:40

OP you really need to rethink your posts, and ask for them to be taken down. You’ve given a lot of VERY identifiable details about this poor woman, including her present day mental health.

You’re shocked about what you’ve found out about her from the internet - imagine what she will feel when she is alerted to this thread, written by her partner, shaming her publicly for something she did twenty years ago, and discussing the future of their relationship with a bunch of strangers?! Imagine finding out that information about YOURSELF.

You should have massively anonymised details about her before posting for advice. This poor woman is having her entire life and history dug up (and I GUARANTEE that many of the readers will already be Googling furiously to try to find out exactly who she is) for public discussion.

You can’t change her past, but you can change this. Please do, for her sake.

Show quote history

what country am i in and what country is was the show from? chill.

OP posts:
Lifeomars · 02/11/2023 21:42

Jellykat · 02/11/2023 21:08

Thank god the things some of us have done in the past arent on the internet aye? i'd be mortified!!

Oh yes x 1000. I am in a video on YouTube and mercifully it is footage of me on an Anti-Nazi league demo as it was covered on the national news at the time. The young me got up to all sorts and lots of it is only known to the people who I got up to it with and some of it is only in my memories. I've done stuff when I was young that I would hate to be reminded of today, I was vain, I was mean, I took drugs and did some shameful stuff. But we learn and we change