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Original poster

Typed partners name into google- freaking shocked

91 replies

Umwelt · 02/11/2023 20:32

we have been together two years. we are very close and open (so i thought). i was updating my ICE details at work and typed her name in google as i know my lot might too.
it turned out she was in big brother (foreign country version) and had sex on tv.
she fcuked a bloke she just met on live tv and almost marry him. this was 20 years ago.
i am lost.
as far as i knew, she was with someone else at the time show was recorded.
so i do not care about her decisions at the time but why the fcuk not share something this significant. i dont care about the past, we all have it but if it is on the net then maybe.

OP posts:
Toottooot · 02/11/2023 21:07

Wooptie ‘freaking’ ping.

Original poster
Umwelt · 02/11/2023 21:07

FairFuming · 02/11/2023 21:02

You need to have a good think if this will effect how you see her permanently. If it will just end it now. Tbh I don't think its a huge deal. She obviously ashamed of it which in its self shows she's changed.

yeah, i don't think she's very proud of it. i think she's suffering mentally, until i found out some things didn't make sense, all of the sudden they do.
but, i am hurt because i feel she should have told me.

OP posts:
Someoneonlyyouknow · 02/11/2023 21:07

Obviously this is a shock but can you think of a time when she could have casually dropped it into conversation. Perhaps she assumed you Googled her name early in your relationship and decided to forget about something she wants to forget? I would also not assume that the backstory shown on a reality TV show is necessarily 'real'

Jellykat · 02/11/2023 21:08

Thank god the things some of us have done in the past arent on the internet aye? i'd be mortified!!

BrexitShmeckzit · 02/11/2023 21:11

No one should have to apologise for their past ( obviously within reason, as long as it is not criminal or similar), and no one owes their partner the details of their past.
But I call bullshit on the posters who would be totally fine with this.
I would be shocked too.

Not a deal breaker, but quite a thing to get used to.

Original poster
Umwelt · 02/11/2023 21:11

HomeBird43 · 02/11/2023 20:58

Lol at all the cool kids pretending this wouldn’t bother them at all.

if she did this to me now, it would be a good bye but- 20 years ago, not much of a problem as such, just, why the heck didnt you tell me for FFS...

OP posts:
Hiddenvoice · 02/11/2023 21:11

I think she should have told you about it but people do change.
I would just straight up ask her, I wouldn’t be dropping hints into conversation as you’ll just be getting yourself more and more annoyed so just say you googled her and found out.

AmazingSnakeHead · 02/11/2023 21:11

Maybe she felt that someone who can't even spell the word "fuck" would be judgemental about it?

I guess being on national television and causing a scandal is the sort of thing that might come up, but I don't think she owes you an account of all her last sexual exploits.

Topee · 02/11/2023 21:12

I’d feel for her that her past mistake was on the internet and be grateful that mine weren’t.

I’d be judged horrifically of some of the things I did in the past were on the internet, many of us would, probably by people like you!

Have you considered that she didn’t tell you because she feared you weren’t mature enough to accept she’d changed and that it was 20 years ago?

PuzzledMind · 02/11/2023 21:12

This would bother me. Not for what happened as people can change over that time span, but the fact they haven't mentioned it in a 2 year relationship.

Coshofliving · 02/11/2023 21:13

How come you're only googling her now two years in? I Google after the first date. Or before it.

bluebeck · 02/11/2023 21:14

Coshofliving · 02/11/2023 21:13

How come you're only googling her now two years in? I Google after the first date. Or before it.

Lol! That’s what I thought!

Original poster
Umwelt · 02/11/2023 21:14

AmazingSnakeHead · 02/11/2023 21:11

Maybe she felt that someone who can't even spell the word "fuck" would be judgemental about it?

I guess being on national television and causing a scandal is the sort of thing that might come up, but I don't think she owes you an account of all her last sexual exploits.

i use fcuk consciously.
i am not judgmental, she told me about her fcuk buddies and other things so why hide something that lurks on the net..

OP posts:
Original poster
Umwelt · 02/11/2023 21:16

Coshofliving · 02/11/2023 21:13

How come you're only googling her now two years in? I Google after the first date. Or before it.

i didnt scroll past first page loll
all seemed fine and she is a great woman so didnt click next page...

OP posts:
burnoutbabe · 02/11/2023 21:16

I'd be more annoyed they'd not mentioned being on big brother. That's quite an omission in one's life story!

Zone2NorthLondon · 02/11/2023 21:16

You know what she (literally) fucked up and the kicker is there is evidence
Come on,most folk have some shape past except it’s not searchable on google
So,in the here and now she’s a cracker you have a great relationship. So stop sweating and ruminating someone else past. Right now you have a good relationship . I will add the caveat you warn her you know. Just to be transparent and all that

Mummyoflittledragon · 02/11/2023 21:16

She’s obviously changed a lot, learned from the experience. Ok different but kind of the same, my 15yo dd thinks I’m a very different person from the one I actually am or was. I’m chronically ill so she sees me as very sensible and reliable, definitely not a risk taker or someone, who’d have been regularly getting drunk and doing all manner of stupid stuff at her age.

AmazingSnakeHead · 02/11/2023 21:17

Why are you consciously misspelling a word?

Maybe it's the cheating side of if she wanted hidden, or perhaps she didn't want you to go searching for it. Maybe she was tired of everyone in her own country knowing about it, and wanted to move on and keep it in the past in her new country.

Also I'm missing the point here but the fact that she wanted to marry the man is surely a good thing if what you care about is that it shows a lack of commitment.

Original poster
Umwelt · 02/11/2023 21:17

PuzzledMind · 02/11/2023 21:12

This would bother me. Not for what happened as people can change over that time span, but the fact they haven't mentioned it in a 2 year relationship.

she did say she almost got married on national tv and i somehow dismissed that. f me i should have been asking questions then

OP posts:
Cas112 · 02/11/2023 21:18

It's not your business. It was pre-you

Mummyoflittledragon · 02/11/2023 21:19

Have you considered that she didn’t tell you because she feared you weren’t mature enough to accept she’d changed and that it was 20 years ago?

Very good point. It sounds as if she was right not to tell you.

HomeBird43 · 02/11/2023 21:20

She probably assumed you already knew.

Original poster
Umwelt · 02/11/2023 21:21

AmazingSnakeHead · 02/11/2023 21:17

Why are you consciously misspelling a word?

Maybe it's the cheating side of if she wanted hidden, or perhaps she didn't want you to go searching for it. Maybe she was tired of everyone in her own country knowing about it, and wanted to move on and keep it in the past in her new country.

Also I'm missing the point here but the fact that she wanted to marry the man is surely a good thing if what you care about is that it shows a lack of commitment.

i just spell it how i like it, everyone knows what it means.
she wanted to marry a gut she just met- tv station made all arrangements.
it looks like she escaped her country straight after the episode was aired.
i feel sorry for her but at the same time i feel like she doesnt trust me enough to share this,

OP posts:
TentChristmas · 02/11/2023 21:23

Mummyoflittledragon · 02/11/2023 21:19

Have you considered that she didn’t tell you because she feared you weren’t mature enough to accept she’d changed and that it was 20 years ago?

Very good point. It sounds as if she was right not to tell you.

This

Goodfood1 · 02/11/2023 21:23

What happens on those shows is mainly staged by production. Done to create scandals and keep viewers watching