Death of estranged parent

[BrokenButNotFinished]

Been NC with both parents for nearly 20 years (both still married to each other and living in what was once the family home). All the reasons why an adult child, with her own children to protect, might want to introduce a breach. Neither parent has taken steps to engage with me or acknowledge that any kind of abuse occurred, growing up.

Occasionally one parent tries to make contact with my husband under the guise of legal or financial matters. I'm ok, but this does usually send me into a bit of a tailspin, from which it takes me a while to straighten out. The other parent has a degenerative brain condition which has affected their memory. They are cared for by the first parent.

The first parent has made contact again with my husband to say that they have an extremely terminal condition and they need to see him. Sounds like they might not last out the year.

Has anyone got any suggestions for what we do here?? I know that I'm not obliged to see them, even on the cusp of death, but it sounds like the surviving parent will not be competent to organise the funeral, sell the house - or possibly even shop for food (and they've lost their driving licence due to seizures). There's a chance that they might ask my husband to take power of attorney, but he's got stuff going on too, so it's just not fair on him.

I am an only child and the only other close-ish relative is 76 and lives 150 miles away.

Thanks.

Without getting into the weeds. I can relate and have been through this my NC parent was the one who had a degenerative illness and couldn't care for their affairs.
There was extended family around but claims there was"no one else" to help.

I went for an initial meeting "to see".
Please take on board what other people have mentioned. In my case upon resuming contact I had my entire back seize up, I was in absolute agony. I couldn't sleep sit or stand. Being in a moving car caused involuntary screaming and i also had my first only migraine which was as bad/worse than the back.
I would not have believed stress/trauma/ your mind can do that to a body had it not happened to me.

I walked away and let social services and the government and solicitors deal with it all

And...i didn't go to the funeral and I have never had any regrets post death. It didn't "hit me 6months later". I know I did everything I could to salvage a relationship and I had already grieved five times over.

I would just report them to Adult Safeguard team at their local council's adult social services and that's it.

As @RoseCurry says you could simply report/write a letter to the adult safeguarding team. However if your terminally ill parent is well enough to contact your husband, the same parent is well enough to inform adult social care to organise help for the sick parent he is leaving behind? So it’s unclear why you are worried. They’ve made their bed. I am puzzled as to why your father wants to see your husband though - what does he want and what would he expect after 20 years NC? (Personally I would be curious to know but offer nothing in the way of help). Sorry you are going through this; perhaps it’s just “the voice from the past” that has taken you unawares and churned you up a bit. I am sure it will settle again with time.