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Original poster

What one weird thing has killed a relationship stone dead in an instant for you?

550 replies

talkingmongoose · 08/03/2008 22:11

Just something that told you there was nooooo future?

I was seeing a chap quite some years ago, pre DH. We had been dating about a year, and were getting into bed at his place when I mentioned that I had my period, just in a casual 'so no rumpy-pumpy tonight' kind of way. The issue had never come up before.

He went all pale with disgust, said 'I wish you hadn't told me that', and proceeded to sleep on the floor.

Utter, utter twunt, I never returned his calls after that. Lucky escape.

OP posts:
ladette · 09/03/2008 00:22

The chat up line "I'm feeling horny, how about it" (when up til that point, he was on a promise....)

JamesAndTheGiantBanana · 09/03/2008 00:29

Oh my god you've just reminded me of another one! (with the weird sex moves thing)

I was seeing a deaf guy for a couple of weeks, he seemed really sweet at first but got weird really quickly. Anyway it was the first and last time we were in bed together. He was delving in his rucksack beside the bed and told me to close my eyes. I heard a huge whirring noise and felt him attempting to ram something down the front of my pants (!) so leapt up to find he'd attempted to get me off using his shakeawake vibrating alarm clock thingy, which was set to fucking road drill. I wasn't impressed! Even less impressed when I realised it had to be one of his trademark moves, for him to carry it around with him (yuck!)

That was also the day he told me that even though he was going out with me, he didn't consider himself a "chubby chaser" LOL - charming.

Serious, mahoosive loser. After we broke up he sent long long letters to me with cartoony doodles of himself as a pirate, and naked with a traffic cone over his privates. I could go on, he was a real piece of work.

MrsMacaroon · 09/03/2008 00:33

To clarify- not with a whisk but with two fingers in whisking motion...the dolphin noises were at climactic moment (not mine I hasten to add). Just got a chill thinking about it.

skyatnight · 09/03/2008 00:38

I once really liked a bloke but he had huge fingernails - the size of ten pence pieces.

I can remember a long day sightseeing with another bloke around a capital city. He had an upset stomach but was really making an effort to carry on with the day for my sake. I should have ben grateful but he kept trying to kiss me inbetween frequent trips to the loo and to chemists and it really put me off. I can remember the relief I felt when I got onto the train to go home, thinking I won't see him again.

(God, I could be here all night relating details about weird dates. I'd love to hear a men's version of this.)

Mumcentreplus · 09/03/2008 00:40

[email protected] fingers..((shudder))

BoysOnToast · 09/03/2008 00:43

oh yeah!
id forgotten the guy who...
im at his house, watching telly. we are a pretty new couple. i get up to go to the loo, muttering that i am going to the loo, as you do.
he says "can i come?"
eh?
"i want to come and watch... would that be ok?"

speechless.

VeniVidiVickiQV · 09/03/2008 00:45

LOL at "whisk manoevre"

Mine..... "I want to be called "Axl" from now on". I was only 13 and it was all a bit toooo weird for me!

Original poster
talkingmongoose · 09/03/2008 00:47

And a chap who used the immortal line...

'can I wank on your tits'.

Wow, that made me feel really, just, so, so special.

OP posts:
Mumcentreplus · 09/03/2008 00:47

Oh [email protected]!

BoysOnToast · 09/03/2008 00:51

oh yes. v freaky.
he explained at length how he had acquired this taste for watching ladies 'go'. and yes, he wanted to watch both.. was just warming me up asking to watch me pee, apparently. where would it all have ended i (do not) wonder?

im as open minded as, well, every 100th person maybe, but waste products are just Not My Bag baby

Scramble · 09/03/2008 00:56

LOL dolphins and pirates with traffic cones, why do we even bother with men .

madamez · 09/03/2008 01:04

Hmm, there was a guy who, during the first shag, suddenly let rip with this extended-bass-solo of farts. Not smelly (thank fck for that) but so LOUD! I just could not* ever do anything with him again...

ALMummy · 09/03/2008 08:59

The one who squared up to his "ex" girlfriend when she walked into a pub and caught us on a date together. I didnt know he was actually still with her so tried to leave whereupon he told me he loved me - this was our first date.

lottymadbird · 09/03/2008 09:06

on first sight of his er... manhood. That was it. definitely no future.

wider than it was long and veered seriously off to the left hand side half way up. eeeeyuk.

holsobsessed · 09/03/2008 09:41

The line
'I am going to xxxx you until you bleed.'

Strangely didn't give him the chance to find out.

Stone, stone dead

FloraPosteschild · 09/03/2008 09:44

Mumcentreplus...OCD isn't really that funny. I hope he gets some help.

callmeovercautious · 09/03/2008 09:49

Waking up to find him stood in front of a Mirror wearing a dress of mine at 3am

policywonk · 09/03/2008 09:52

hols - !

MrsSnape · 09/03/2008 10:00

I was once going out with a lad I met at air cadets. He was from a posh family, private school etc...

Anyway we were going to the cinema one night and went to catch a bus, we stood there as the bus approached and he didn't do anything and I was faffing around trying to get something out of my handbag so I said "put your hand out then...." so he replied "No Way! I hate public transport! so embarrassing!" That was the end of that one.

marmadukescarlet · 09/03/2008 11:56

fpc, am a little confused. Which of the strange sexual encounters do you think is caused by OCD?

Unfitmother · 09/03/2008 12:01

Broke off an engagement after he said he wouldn't give up smoking when we had dcs.
Just saw him differently after that.

FloraPosteschild · 09/03/2008 13:43

By Mumcentreplus on Sat 08-Mar-08 22:21:25
...No way!..funnily enough a friend of mine has just found out her BF is a freak...she thinks he has OCD..lol

I was just responding to this comment, Marmaduke

colditz · 09/03/2008 13:52

Watching my boyfriend's mum get up out of bed to cook his dinner (from scratch) when he came in at 10pm, and proceed to lay the little table in front of him - knife, fork, salt, pepper, fresh gravy .... and i will never forget the sight of a tiny 60 year old woman on her knees, picking up the peas and sweetcorn her 22 year old son had dropped on her carpet from between his two feet.

I was gobsmacked.

Disenchanted · 09/03/2008 13:54

colditz thats disgusting

My grans son who is 44 still treats her like that! Shes 65!

Mumcentreplus · 09/03/2008 13:55

I said she thinks didn't mean to make light of the condition but still it's friggin hell to live with...personally I believe he does have a problem ...when they first got together it was hot n heavy..all of a sudden...he has to brush his teeth before they kiss..can't even cuddle or sleep after they have sex...he has to jump up and have a shower..has to bleach all his clothes ...if she washes them he re-washes...and more..he's making her feel uncomfortable about everything and even if he tries not say anything she can see it in his eyes!...now all she thinks about is how disgusted he is whilst they are having sex..wondering if he just want's to jump off and take a shower..she's feeling down about herself...he has not mentioned he has an issue