Tell me at least some of this is hormones talking!
DH and I have been together almost 15 years and had our first DD a few months ago. He is absolutely besotted with DD and it is genuinely wonderful to see. He was really upset to go back to work following his paternity leave (although we do have some SPL coming up later) so I've been trying to do what I can to try to counteract that - picking up the housework so that his free time is just with DD, bringing her to him for a quick cuddle if he's WFH and she's particularly smiley, etc. I think there is also some guilt on my side as I only get SMP so at some point DH is probably going to have to pick up more of our bills.
So far so good in that they have a great bond. But I feel like somewhere along the way I've lost myself a bit and what I mean to DH. I'm often struggling to wash/dress properly, get out of the house (DD is EBF and often feeding every 1.5 hours or less, even in the night), my face looks really drawn, I'm losing my hair. I'm tired and so sometimes don't have the same energy with DD as he does, which I think he judges me for. On several occasions when it's been a bit of a difficult day and I'm a bit frustrated/quiet he's told me he'd swap places with me in a heartbeat?
Will some of this just take time to settle? I just feel a bit like at the moment I'm not quite sure what I am to him. I could perhaps have more energy/time if I did less around the house but he's been clear before that he sees housework as part of maternity or paternity leave.
Sorry for the rambling - thanks for any thoughts!