Attracted to my boss

[speenmum]

Last year I went through a messy divorce and I finally feel ready to put myself back out there. I have found myself unexpectedly attracted to my boss because he's kind, fair and makes me really feel appreciated and wanted, especially over the past year. I get the impression he might feel the same way and our romantic connection is slowly growing.

Is it ok/appropriate for me to make a move? I don't think his role as my boss should impact our relationship too much

what if you embarrass yourself and he’s not interested? Wouldn’t it cause an issue in your workplace?

Obvious question - is he single?

"Is it ok/appropriate for me to make a move? I don't think his role as my boss should impact our relationship too much"

No it is not appropriate.

Interested to hear why you think that him being your boss won't have an impact though. I think it will have a big impact.

Is he single?

What is the Work policy?

Is this honestly a serious post?

If it is here goes. He's your boss most companies don't like boss/worker relationships and in fact one would have to move roles most likely the worker.

Yes he has been single for 5 years and never married. He seems emotionally ready and mature for commitment

As far as I know, it will be allowed by policy. They aren't really too strict about this kind of thing

Does he do your yearly appraisal?

Honestly don't go there. I highly doubt it will work out. There is an obvious power imbalance.
Ughh the whole idea of this situation makes me feel icky! Please don't!

Well, then - make a move - but be prepared for awkwardness if it turns out he's not interested, and possibly having to move from his team if he is.

We have been good friends since I started working here 4 years ago and we seem compatible so i don't think that taking it one step further would cause too drastic a change in the workplace

Isn't he paid to be nice and fair to his staff?
Sounds like a bad idea OP

I have been where you are. You are being naïve I'm afraid.
It will change and if you break up he will keep his job and you will end up with no relationship.

If you want to pursue a relationship with him, then leave your job. But I would not make that kind of decision about my career based on a man.

@flipent I don't think i'd mind having him remain as my boss if we broke up. I can move past personal life for the sake of my career and I don't think I would let our relationship encroach upon our work life

Where are you at the moment in your career?

You might not see it as an issue, I think your colleagues might disagree.

Been working in the sector for 12 years and at this current role for 4. Job at the moment is stable and I'm at the stage where I doubt it would be risked by my personal life

If it all went badly wrong with the boss, how easy would it be for you to find another role in the sector?

@CesareBorgia At my workplace there are many small teams and moving around is pretty easy. My boss only manages about 10 of us within this particular team

If you can cope with rejection should that happen, go for it, I say.

Has he given you reason to think that he feels the same?

If he knows you're single, he is single and work policy is fine with you dating, why do you think he hasn't made a move?

In a word no. That he's the first guy that's been nice to you in a while doesn't mean he wants to get involved. It's his job to be nice and supportive, (the fact that many aren't is neither here nor there). Apart from it being unprofessional workplace relationships rarely end well.

Apart from it being unprofessional workplace relationships rarely end well.

What are you basing that on? The workplace is statistically the most common place for people to have met their future spouse.

There’s that and the fact you have little to gain by making a move, but nothing to lose by waiting if you think he’s interested. Take more time after a messy divorce and let things play out gently.