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Original poster

Husband does unkind impressions of my parents

62 replies

SperaT · 04/10/2023 01:22

I don't like the way my husband talks about my parents.

He does impressions of them - of my mum being grumpy and no fun, which she isn't; and of my dad being weak and a pushover, which I know he isn't (he is kind but strong).

When we argue, he often talks about them and does impressions.

It really hurts me. I think because I see it as an attack on those I love.

Would this get to others too?

OP posts:
MrsTerryPratchett · 04/10/2023 01:35

You see it as an attack because it is. The question is why you're putting up with him. Being horrible about nice family members is a dumping offence.

Zanina · 04/10/2023 01:40

I would threaten to divorce. That's a massive boundary push. Incredibly cruel I'd say and maybe it's a future glimpse of how horrible he could potentially be

Tourmalines · 04/10/2023 01:44

He’s being an arse . That’s incredibly hurtful and malicious. It needs to stop .

MintJulia · 04/10/2023 01:45

Why do you put up with this? He is trying to undermine your bond with your parents. Even if he doesn't like them, which is perfectly allowable, he doesn't need to be rude.

I think I'd make it clear to him that his rudeness is profoundly offensive and needs to stop. I'd decamp to the spare room and give him a wide berth until he apologised properly.

If he keeps it up, I'd reconsider the relationship. There really is no need for him to behave like that. He is nasty & childish. Frankly, you don't want your children growing up like their dad!

TheCatterall · 04/10/2023 02:00

I couldn’t put up with this behaviour from another adult who is supposed to live and respect me.

if it was a child behaving like this they’d be disciplined - why should this behaviour be acceptable from a grown adult.

It would make me go completely off him. Even when the moment was over - I’d be replaying it every time I saw my parents or my partner spoke to them like some two faced Weasley little shit.

I mean what is he 5? If you told him that it’s really unbecoming and not an attractive trait how would he take it? Laugh it off and make out you’re the one with the issue for keeping in about it?

OrderOfTheKookaburra · 04/10/2023 02:15

Ask him "When did you become so unkind? If I had know you were this unkind in the beginning I would never have gone out with you"

DeeCeeCherry · 04/10/2023 03:02

He doesn't like you. Why dont you understand this when he is blatantly upsetting you on purpose and disrespecting your parents?

Wake up and tell him it's over if he ever does this again. & mean it. I wouldn't want to be in the same room as an ill-mannered oaf such as him, much less shag him. Malicious and mean are seriously unattractive traits

PerfectMatch · 04/10/2023 03:03

I would find that incredibly hurtful OP. Have you told him how much it upsets you?

Topseyt123 · 04/10/2023 04:01

What a stupid arse he is! Tell him so, and that you won't be putting up with this shitty behaviour.

He probably thinks he is so clever. So you need to ram home to him what a seriously unattractive trait this is. Then you will see if he actually cares or not and can plan accordingly.

HoneyBadgerMom · 04/10/2023 04:07

Have you told him that it hurts your feelings?

LadyLolaRuben · 04/10/2023 04:24

OrderOfTheKookaburra · 04/10/2023 02:15

Ask him "When did you become so unkind? If I had know you were this unkind in the beginning I would never have gone out with you"

This. He's being nasty and hurtful. He seems jealous of your family

Blueeyedmale · 04/10/2023 04:58

I would be offended by this too OP its disrespectful and not to mention almost toddler like behavior,not something you expect from a grown man

dogmandu · 04/10/2023 07:19

@DeeCeeCherry
He doesn't like you. Why dont you understand this when he is blatantly upsetting you on purpose and disrespecting your parents?

I think DeeCee has absolutely hit the nail on the head here. That was my first thought as well.

Khvdrt · 04/10/2023 07:24

I think you need to say when you’re both calm that within an argument bringing other people into it and doing imitations isn’t acceptable. If he does start then walk away from that argument and end the conversation there.

Susieb2023 · 04/10/2023 07:28

Nasty man. Stay with him and it’ll only get worse. This is an attack on you, not your lovely mum and dad.

I expect this is just the tip of the iceberg as to what you’re tolerating.

MariePaperRoses · 04/10/2023 07:39

Tell Mike Yarwood to fuck off.

3luckystars · 04/10/2023 07:40

That’s awful.

Wheresmypal · 04/10/2023 07:43

DeeCeeCherry · 04/10/2023 03:02

He doesn't like you. Why dont you understand this when he is blatantly upsetting you on purpose and disrespecting your parents?

Wake up and tell him it's over if he ever does this again. & mean it. I wouldn't want to be in the same room as an ill-mannered oaf such as him, much less shag him. Malicious and mean are seriously unattractive traits

This. He is deliberately being spiteful in this deliberate attempt to wound you.

It belies his deep contempt for you.

And that, at heart, he’s deeply nasty.

3luckystars · 04/10/2023 07:43

I have a feeling he has been doing things to YOU that you have excused, but hurting your parents has made you realise that he is not nice. Apologies if I am wrong.

Mind yourself, you are important too.

Bluebellcup · 04/10/2023 07:46

Sounds like a lovely man.

Pandora55 · 04/10/2023 08:30

If my dh did this I'd tell him how bloody insulting and immature he's being. I'd tell him he's actually embarrassing himself.

It's honestly such childish behaviour and he's only doing it to hurt you. That's being a bully imo

theduchessofspork · 04/10/2023 08:32

Er yes.

You need to give him an absolute bollocking.

determinedtomakethiswork · 04/10/2023 08:40

I agree with the others I'm afraid. He is disrespectful and certainly behaves as though he doesn't like you or your family.

gerispringer · 04/10/2023 11:19

You are enabling this behaviour by not challenging it. You need to have a serious conversation along the lines of “if you continue to belittle my parents in this childish way I think our relationship may be over. I find it hurtful .Will you promise to stop? “ Then you are giving him a chance to change his ways, if it happens again just walk silently away, don’t engage with him, and consult a solicitor.

Prelapsarianhag · 04/10/2023 13:53

What a nasty little shit - I would not keep him around to insult me and my family.