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Original poster

Husband does unkind impressions of my parents

62 replies

SperaT · 04/10/2023 01:22

I don't like the way my husband talks about my parents.

He does impressions of them - of my mum being grumpy and no fun, which she isn't; and of my dad being weak and a pushover, which I know he isn't (he is kind but strong).

When we argue, he often talks about them and does impressions.

It really hurts me. I think because I see it as an attack on those I love.

Would this get to others too?

OP posts:
TheYearOfSmallThings · 04/10/2023 14:02

I would end a marriage over this. Nobody gets to do impressions of my parents which make me collusive in sneering at them. He is also disrespecting you to your face by demeaning your parents.

I have a friend whose husband does sneering imitations of her mother (who is an awesome woman and worth 1000 of him). My friend not only tolerates it, he has undermined her love and respect for her mother so much that she joins in. I think less of her every time she does this.

WatieKatie · 04/10/2023 15:00

He sounds very immature.

billy1966 · 04/10/2023 15:13

Why are you allowing that to happen more than once?

Where is your loyalty to your parents?

Why does your jealous husband need to be so nasty towards you in a covert way by being so unkind towards your parents?

You have married poorly.

He is not a good kind man.

Think long and hard about your choices.

Reach out to your parents and tell them the truth.

I bet this is the tip of the iceberg.

Good kind loving men do NOT behave like this.

BlueSky2023 · 04/10/2023 17:57

I think it is a way of indirectly insulting you as you are their child.
Does he think he is perfect and that he is in a position to pick fault with other people, the next time he does it I Would say this to him and have a list of his faults to throw back at him, top on being that he is a mean little bitch.

Are his family perfect?

Does he perceive your parents as having been unkind to him or something that he is saying this stuff?

TryAgainWithFeeling · 04/10/2023 17:59

If he’s doing it in arguments then he’s being purposefully cruel and nasty to you. That’s an absolutely horribly trait.

bringbacksideburns · 04/10/2023 18:03

He’s jealous. What’s his relationship like with his own parents?

If you have asked him to stop and he knows you are upset and continues to do it then you have a big problem.

Dogfureverywhere · 04/10/2023 18:07

That's sneering and purile behaviour. Deeply unattractive. Have you pulled him up on it?

Poppyfun1 · 04/10/2023 18:33

Clean the bathroom with his toothbrush. Esp right under the rim. The tell him you did it after he’s brushed and say u want a divorce. Then make fun of his crying……too far?

BethDuttonsTwin · 04/10/2023 18:36

SperaT · 04/10/2023 01:22

I don't like the way my husband talks about my parents.

He does impressions of them - of my mum being grumpy and no fun, which she isn't; and of my dad being weak and a pushover, which I know he isn't (he is kind but strong).

When we argue, he often talks about them and does impressions.

It really hurts me. I think because I see it as an attack on those I love.

Would this get to others too?

Yes it would make me really angry and I'd tell him so. He clearly resents or feels threatened by your close relationship with them.

RedSquirrelsRock · 04/10/2023 18:37

OrderOfTheKookaburra · 04/10/2023 02:15

Ask him "When did you become so unkind? If I had know you were this unkind in the beginning I would never have gone out with you"

"When di you become such an a wanker? If I had known you were such a wanker in the beginning I would never have gone out with you let alone marry you."

TherebytheGraceofGodgoI · 04/10/2023 19:29

How are things in general? Do you have friends?
I was in an abusive marriage and my husband had successfully alienated me from my friends. He then started on my parents.
My parents were good people and his comments were totally unwarranted and designed to drive a wedge in between us. Luckily, it had the opposite effect and I had a lightbulb moment and left soon after.
I would end a relationship over this. He has no respect for your parents or you.

Casperroonie · 04/10/2023 19:40

Does he have the mental capacity/ maturity of like, a 6 year old?? How can anyone be such a p**ck??? Ugh that would make my stomach turn just by seeing how totally thick he was.

I'd be flying out the door, can't stand thick blokes.

Dotcheck · 04/10/2023 19:44

Well that’s pretty unanimous

Dogon · 04/10/2023 19:46

Yes, that would upset me.

Missingmyusername · 04/10/2023 19:46

Does he think he’s being funny? Does he know it upsets you?

Mmhmmn · 04/10/2023 19:46

Yes. Not normal - he’s an arsehole. Dump asap.

CallmeDawnthen · 04/10/2023 19:54

Yes Op, very unpleasant. I had an ex boyfriend decades and decades ago who used to do the same. His family were a total mess and I see now ,in hindsight, he was most likely rebelling against the fact my family was largely in tact at that time. Mum and Dad were still together, had strict rules around me and I had a very close aunties, uncles and cousin network. He had none of that although my family always made him part of ours . I look back now with the benefit of hindsight and know now and see he was probably struggling with his parents divorcing. This was in the 80's so times have changed. I suspect you husband is likely jealous of the "normality" of your parents.

saraclara · 04/10/2023 19:57

If you have children, he will mock you to them in the same way. Is that what you want them to learn from him?

Bakedbeansontoas · 04/10/2023 20:06

The guy is awesome 👏 he has a great sense of humour. Your lucky to have a man who has a bit of fun, lucky you 👍

AluckyEllie · 04/10/2023 20:27

He sounds like a twat. He’s either jealous or he’s trying to make you join in/agree and make sure he’s number 1 in your life. I’d be saying similar to a previous person ‘why are you so rude.’ Call him out on it every time. Make it unacceptable. Then when you realise you’ve married a dud divorce him.

MaxTalk · 04/10/2023 20:34

Just do impressions of his family. We all defend our family to an extent but maybe he sees them differently.

What may be someone's "fun" could be another's "boring".

Just find out what the real issue is here.

Catoo · 04/10/2023 20:39

LTB
And spend all the gained time with your lovely parents while you can.

Beaverbridge · 04/10/2023 20:51

Hes a massive disrespectful twat. Tell him it stops now.

Mmhmmn · 04/10/2023 21:57

He sounds like an arsehole and probably wasn't happy with how his own parents treated him growing up - no-one who has been nicely brought up behaves like that.
I'd be telling him that your mum and dad are infinitely better, nicer people than him and he doesn't deserve to even speak their names. Leave the fucker - he is cruel and contemptuous of you. Plenty of people have problems with their in-laws but they don't behave like that!

Original poster
SperaT · 04/10/2023 22:08

Thank you everyone.

I have told him before that it upsets me,. He has then said 'i really respect your mum and dad, they're good people', but he's done it again.

The weird thing is that he only ever does it in an argument, when he's angry. It's to illustrate the point that either:

  • I have turned into my mum (a grumpy nag, according to his impersonations)
  • He is not like my dad (who he thinks is weak and a pushover).

I told him again tonight that it really upsets me. Thanks again for these comments - I used some of your words. He has promised he won't do it again.

OP posts: