Gutted that my GF left me

[Hello50304]

Im 26 years of age and I was dating this lovely girl (23) for three months but the other day she admitted that she doesnt have feelings for me. We never had sex as we were both inexperienced (im still a virgin) but she was actually my first kiss. Im boring as I dont like going out clubbing or partying, I prefer walks and just sitting at home watching a movie while eating a takeaway instead of going out to fancy restraunts. She was the very same as me and im also autistic/socially awkward so I've always struggled with women. I dont use instagram or any social media and she was the same but I know most women would think im weird or boring. She was exactly my type as she was very natural looking and even her family were lovely people, she was the type of woman who I seen myself having kids with and she also wanted kids so we were compatible. I also loved the fact that we didnt text that much and we gave each other our own space, I really tried and I brought her lots of gifts but she said that she no longer has feelings for me

But most women these days have instagram and love uploading pics to social media, they would think im "cheap" just because I dont like fancy restraunts and like going on walks, they would constantly be on there phone, they all follow the same beauty standard while my Ex was just "plain" and wore normal clothes that looked nice which is what I loved about her (and I thought she was gorgous)

Thats all I want is a nice easy going woman who wants to have kids someday but modern day dating is fucked, most girls wouldnt even go out with you if your making less than them and I also loved the fact that she was inexperienced like me so she didnt have Ex's randomly showing up in our life.

I also dont really have a big social circle and she was the same although she was a very bubbly and chatty girl, most women would think me not having many friends or not constantly texting them is a redflag.

I dont even know how im going to find a woman now because most women will think im boring or weird. She motivated me as I thought to myself "I have a lovely woman so now I need to work lots of hours and gather in as much money so that one day I can get a mortgage for a house so we can move in together".

Especially if your socially awkward and autistic like myself, your literally fucked as a man unless you have lots of money and get yourself a gold digger

But one person with autism isn't the same as another. Just because your nephew wouldn't do something doesn't mean another person with autism doesn't. This young man is clearly looking on the Internet for clues to how 'women' work (he may well see women as one amorphous nut to crack instead of being diverse individuals- that's very likely given his other very black and white statements such as not liking fancy restaurants). People with autism can find the world scary and baffling. Nuances can elude them. Categorising people and places (I like these kinds of people, I don't like those kinds of places) helps them to feel safe. Empathy is sometimes a struggle so they can't always realise the effect of what they say. I suspect this is what is happening here. OP would genuinely like a girlfriend, knows what he enjoys and would struggle with other activities, knows what kind of people he feels safe with and which kind he finds scary. While, yes, it might help for him to be encouraged not to be so dismissive of women and activities he thinks are not for him, it's very unfair to label him for presumably parroting what others have said/he's read on the Internet. Read about echolalia. This is the written form of that.

I'm married to a lovely man, also autistic, who didn't find me until he was 38. He unfortunately married the wrong person before me out of desperate feelings he was undeserving.

Please don't do that and hold out for someone right. I don't think you're weird, just not typical. And IMHO typical 26 year olds are awful!

My son is 20 and also autistic and felt exactly as you do. He met a lovely girl who's also autistic and they're lovely together.

Just be patient. Most young people are shallow and insecure so meeting the right woman might take time, but just hold out :) She will come

‘Most young people are shallow’. Jesus.

Just because someone is autistic doesn't make it OK for them to blatantly generalise women as sex obsessed Instagram bimbos.

The points this guy has made are unacceptable whatever disability he has.

Stop excusing shitty behaviour.

I don’t think this person sounds like an incel, i think they sound like an inexperienced person with a neurodivergence. I’m autistic and am a member of a subreddit that aims to help young men leave the incel mindset, so i know an incel when I see one, and this person isn’t it. He’s got some incorrect assumptions about women and what they want, but i’m not seeing hatred or blaming women here.

OP, I think you need to do a few things:

1. despite your misgivings, try embracing some form of social media - you can curate what you see if you search for the right things. instagram, for example, is full of women who enjoy hiking, birdwatching, table top gaming, historical reenactment, etc. This might help you see that women who you’re likely to get on with do exist, and also might help you find them - perhaps there’s a walking group near you, for example? there’s also a lot of autism advocacy on there that will both help you feel more accepted and help you work on your social skills.

2. remember that just as you wouldn’t want women to judge you based on your appearance and first impression of you, you shouldn’t judge women based on theirs. For example, a woman who is ‘conventionally’ attractive and enjoys posting pictures of her makeup etc on social media might ALSO enjoy walking - everyone is different and you can’t assume things based on appearance.

3. it really is all about meeting the right person - you’re young, you sound like a kind and thoughtful man. Expanding your social circle by joining local activities that interest you might help you build connections and confidence with like-minded people. and you never know, even if you don’t meet a suitable woman there, you might meet someone who can introduce you to her. and even if you don’t meet a partner, you’ll still make friends and have fun.

4. stay away from all redpill/incel type media - it’s a cult, and they want to keep you in it so they can make money out of you by getting you to watch their hateful videos, etc. Don’t believe a word of what they say about dating, women, or how men should be - it’s all rubbish.

good luck!