I found old post on here from my partner portraying me as a terrible person

[Maybeafailure]

I just need to get this off my chest, I found old posts on here portraying me as abusive and vial, I wasn't the best and am wayyyyy better than I was back then but I was never as bad as what she painted me to be, she only see things from her point of view because the the horrible parents and ex's she's had in the past. She's right on somthing I fully admit that but even everyone around us told her she's overeating and I couldn't say anything slightly negative in any way without her taking it as shot, I lost my cool alot being told I don't understand what she's saying while I'm getting the exact same back, I looked to people close to me and to her for advice on if I'm a bad person and they could see that I'm just misunderstood, and burnt out myself, so why couldn't she ?, I'm just posting this in the hopes it's lost in the sea of posts, I am Not a smart man but I'm not evil either.

‘I was bad before and I’m only slightly less bad now.’

Righto.

Exactly my point, I don't chose the right word to explain what I mean, things are amazing now between us. We've both calmed down and understand each other issues and how to approach them I fully admit I was a problem, but I wasn't the only problem

“I lost my cool a lot”

what did that entail?

It's really hard if you recognise a post on here, it happened to me and i flounced for 6 months.

What's that poem about 'see oorselves as others see us'? And the saying about 'listeners never hear good of themselves'. We used to be taught not to eavesdrop because you'll hear things you don't want to hear.

The post is her perspective, or it was then. If you don't think it's reasonable, well, it's a good thing you're not together any more.

If things are great now then what are you posting here for? You’ve nothing to prove to people who don’t know you and have no idea which post you’re even talking about.

How did you find the post she made? Pretty difficult to spot if old, were you logged on to her account and looking at her history?

Well, this post makes you sound pretty awful — angry, inarticulate, self-justifying, critical of your wife, taking minimal responsibility for your behaviour.

Oh ok you are together! Well, if things are better maybe leave it in the past.

Remember none of us know you or her from Adam...

How did you find her old posts? Were you stalking her?

Yes how exactly?!

Stop trawling through your partner's private life and focus on being the best partner you can. She's entitled to vent on here about your shitty behaviour.

You do not have the right to minimise or try to explain away her feelings. Obviously nobody is squeaky clean but your trying to minimise her experience.

Because you were burnt out is not an excuse to take it out on a partner period!
Tou want reassurance from people close to you because of what? You don't like the way your partner was feeling? Your feeling guilty about it?
Not sure what you want to get out of this but clearly it's hit a nerve. What you experienced is not the same as what your partner does maybe rather then still trying to blame her you accept that was her experience of your behaviour!

What makes you think that that's not genuinely how she saw you and felt?
You don't have to agree with it for it to be her feelings.

Maybe you'd be better off accepting that she did indeed actually think you were everything she said you were.

All I'm doing about the posts are extracting the truth in what she said and take it on board to better myself, we've spoke about everything addressed in the post since then and we've spoke about her issues and mine and we've both learnt that the other side may see it differently, I just feel like I want my side out there, this is totally anonymous but it still stings me to my core seeing all those comments saying how horrible I am when Its too late to give full context

Are you defending yourself against her post, or criticising her? It's really hard to tell what you're trying to say/achieve with your post. Could you clarify?

Why are you stalking her Internet use and reading six month old posts?

How about some self-reflection about how weird and controlling that behaviour is in you?

With the best will in the world - we're strangers on the internet and I seriously doubt any of us care about your side.

Frankly we've all probably forgotten hers

None of us are as important to others as we think we are.

What matters is between the two of you not a bunch of strangers who will disinterestedly scroll down your posts then click away and forget about you forever.

I haven't read her posts but I'm automatically on her side as you sift through her old Mumsnet threads.

My partner would take things I do and assume it's leading to what she's always seen it lead to in the past, I would get angry some times as everyone does but to her. Angry=aggression=violence I have never been violent and will never be violent, me wanting to go out with friends from time to time= either I'm cheating or I don't want to spend time with her, all I wanted from this was to get it out there and I feel alot better

Thou doth protest too much.
To explain.. this is version of a Shakespeare line ' the lady doth protest too much methinks: and it's an observation that when a person over states their innocence or even exaggerates how amazing everything is, the opposite is often true.
Your post shows a ton of unresolved issues, good luck sorting them out, but my impression is that your relationship is far from healthy.

Things are healthy now but I understand what you're saying

Link to her post if you want people to know what you’re talking about

Sorry but trawling through her mumsnet posts,then writing your own post to say your not actually that bad,its a little strange, your stalking your partner online things can't be that great now

Things are healthy now but I understand what you're saying

You’re searching her past posts. This is not ‘healthy’.

Agreed.

Go to therapy with a clear intention to sort out your abusive tendencies instead of seeking validation from strangers on the internet.

How have you found her posts? That suggests you've gone looking, and have probably used her login. Which is a HUGE breach of trust.

If you're in a good place now (you aren't, as you're spying on her), why are you bothered about what she said all that time ago?