I found old post on here from my partner portraying me as a terrible person

[Maybeafailure]

I just need to get this off my chest, I found old posts on here portraying me as abusive and vial, I wasn't the best and am wayyyyy better than I was back then but I was never as bad as what she painted me to be, she only see things from her point of view because the the horrible parents and ex's she's had in the past. She's right on somthing I fully admit that but even everyone around us told her she's overeating and I couldn't say anything slightly negative in any way without her taking it as shot, I lost my cool alot being told I don't understand what she's saying while I'm getting the exact same back, I looked to people close to me and to her for advice on if I'm a bad person and they could see that I'm just misunderstood, and burnt out myself, so why couldn't she ?, I'm just posting this in the hopes it's lost in the sea of posts, I am Not a smart man but I'm not evil either.

So in summary: I’m not a bad person; but I did bad things, but she did bad things too, so it was actually not that big a deal- in fact it was justified.

She posted when you were wayyyy worse than you are now, and she didn’t know that the better behaviour would occur. If you think about how you ‘actually‘ were, not the sanitized version, would you want to live with him?

You say that you don’t explain things well, but maybe you do, and you just cannot stand anyone thinking you’re not a nice man.

It’s so awful to live with a bad tempered person, their explosive anger always there ready to go off- and everyone having to pretend that sometimes you just get a bit stressed.
Presumably you couldn’t be arsed to change until she left or threatened to. So actually she wasn’t overreacting at all- that was the action required for you to stop. You are very lucky to still have a relationship, and yet here you are whining rather than have a bit of decency and thanking the women who advised your wife- it makes it seem that you didn’t really want to change at all, and are resentful that it had to happen.

Why on earth are you trawling through annonymised posts when your partner was dealing with the fallout of your poor behaviour? What on earth do you expect to learn apart from not being an asshat, which I'm assuming you know already.

Why else are you reading the old posts? Because I'm not buying its for innocent reasons, it's like you're trying to prove she was wrong, or find a stick to beat her with on something she wrote.

You know you didn't behave well, focus on behaving better and the future - own your own part in it, and talk with your partner about how your relationship is now.

Are you sure because coming on here would suggest otherwise?

Sounds a bit Russell Brand.

Oh dear

'stings me to my core seeing all those comments'

That's because the truth hurts.

Look, I know it hurts to read things someone wrote about you. But no one knows who you are, and no one’s judging you - how can strangers judge you, no one who reads it knows you.
all people get on these forums is one person’s perspective - but people respond to that one person, because they’re the one who needs help in that moment. It’s personal to them only. It doesn’t apply to their partner, because perspectives are completely different, and experiences are different, but a person wrote here needing some support.

so it’s not about you, and it never was, if that makes sense - it’s about what your partner was going through at that time that was a struggle for them.

and yeah I am sure it’s awful to read “LTB” type replies.

best to put it behind you and not let any of it define you. You know who you are, and you’ve been working on yourself. Keep going, just try to be as happy and healthy as you can be, and to hell with past crap on the internet.

I responded to a few but now I'm going to log off and forget it all. I just wanted my own say in my own way As I said I am not a smart man, possibly autistic (suggested by my partner), alot of what I say takes knowing me and understanding to get what I'm getting at and I don't want to do that so I'm logging off and leaving it here

What the f? I mean it’s anonymous posters and us anonymous readers. What do you need help with?

You can’t control people experience of you. It is subjective and yes people can make it sound worse too. Get on with yr day and maybe find another board where this will be taken seriously, with fellow minded blokes u can sympathise with our the lack of control you have over life and your partner. And stop snooping on her it’s stalker coercive territory.

Good decision because truth is few people care about strangers. People who don't know you have no real interest in your life or your feelings so whatever you were looking for you'll find it with family and friends.

You admit you were angry and she thought you’d be aggressive and violent because that’s what happened when she was younger. You say you weren’t.

You say she didn’t trust you to go out as she thought you’d cheat on her, did you?

It sounds to me that there’s been a lot of anger and blame, disconnect from each other and mistrust.

Why are things better now? Have you both come to better agreements? Eg you get less angry and she trusts you more?

Cross post. Good decision.

A post is one person's perspective. A person has a right to their perspective whether you like it or not

Well you didn’t cover yourself in glory here did you op? And how did you find her posts exactly?

a lot, alot is not a word.

That's my take, cut off the only form of support she has left. Leave her in a position she has no one to turn to.

Sounds like you're making excuses for your past abusive behaviour.. 🚩🚩🚩

What were you doing to find these posts?Whatever it was it can't be for any good, and the fact that you're here making excuses for yourself isn't good either.

I can’t believe that anyone feels the need to register a new account and then create a thread to contradict their partner’s version of events from 6 months ago. I can therefore only presume that this is your way of saying to your partner, “I’ve found you. Don’t do this again.”

Your behaviour is at best creepy and at worst abusive.

OP’s partner if you are reading this, don’t be put off from posting. Name change, change a few details and come back to us. You’ll get the support to leave if you need it.

If the ops partner is here - he's still an abusive dangerous shit

This isn't normal behaviour. Not by a long shot

Speak to womens aid. Speak to people in real life. And get the fuck out.

Spot on 👏

“I can’t believe that anyone feels the need to register a new account and then create a thread to contradict their partner’s version of events from 6 months ago. I can therefore only presume that this is your way of saying to your partner, “I’ve found you. Don’t do this again.”

Your behaviour is at best creepy and at worst abusive.

OP’s partner if you are reading this, don’t be put off from posting. Name change, change a few details and come back to us. You’ll get the support to leave if you need it.”

This.

Don't dare try to suggest that your abusive behaviour is caused by autism which you don't even have a diagnosis for. Autistic people already have enough to cope with without people conflating autism and abusive partners. If you're abusive, that's on you.

Yep. Spot on. Jog on mate