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Original poster

Would you count this as cheating

53 replies

bonzaitree · 21/09/2023 22:02

I found that my bf has been looking at an exes profile on social media. For context she is from years ago and lives abroad.

I was disgusted but then when I told my 2 best friends about it they said curiosity just got the better of him and it was normal to look up exes online. Are they just being kind to me?

What do you think? Please honest opinions.

OP posts:
sunlovingcriminal · 21/09/2023 22:02

Not cheating

Daffodil18 · 21/09/2023 22:08

It isn’t cheating but I can see why you’re annoyed. It may have just been curiosity.

Cupcakekiller · 21/09/2023 22:08

I've probably looked up every man I've ever been involved with. I also look up random people at work. It's just nosiness/curiosity/a way to pass the time. You're definitely over reacting.

DosCervezas · 21/09/2023 22:08

Definitely not cheating IMO. A friend request or messages however would be a different story and quite a betrayal. But even then, some people have no issues with their current partner staying friendly with their exes. Personally i think it's very disrespectful to the current partner. But checking a profile is just curious nosiness.

Querypost · 21/09/2023 22:10

Depends if he's just having a nose or wanking off to her holiday bikini pics I guess.

Aquamarine1029 · 21/09/2023 22:11

Let me guess, your relationship with this man isn't so great?

How on earth would this be cheating? Don't be ridiculous.

Widowsfire · 21/09/2023 22:13

It's definitely not cheating.

It's OK to be interested in what people from your past are up to, but ther probably is a reason he's looking now.

cruffinsmuffin · 21/09/2023 22:16

Not cheating imo.

Doggymummar · 21/09/2023 22:17

Not cheating

SomethingNastyInTheBallPool · 21/09/2023 22:17

How could this possibly be cheating?

Sandrine1982 · 21/09/2023 22:19

Jeez. Chill. I routinely look up the profile of my exes to see what they have become. I even talk to one of them, like once or twice a year.

How old are you?

Mangotango39 · 21/09/2023 22:19

God no it's not cheating!

I am in a very happy relationship and I always have a nose at exs. Curiosity that's it.

Do you not trust him in general?

Watchkeys · 21/09/2023 22:20

It's more relevant whether you think it's cheating, @bonzaitree . Do you?

SirCharlesRainier · 21/09/2023 22:22

Depends whether it was the Corfu '06 album.

Original poster
bonzaitree · 21/09/2023 22:22

I don’t think it’s like having a full on affair of course I’m not that daft.

Im not sure whether it’s worth mentioning to him or whether I should just leave it.

OP posts:
FailWhale · 21/09/2023 22:23

Not cheating on any level. He might have been checking to see if she'd landed a better looking boyf than him and then thought 'nope, yay, me and the new girlfriend are the absolute winners' or maybe he missed her dog or maybe some shared friends posted photos of something and he looked and clicked through to other photos.

Unless you found him with his dick in his hand looking at photos who cares. Even then I'm not sure I'd care that much if he decided to flip that energy and use it to have a good time with me. Don't let ghosts frighten you so much, they're just the past x

Original poster
bonzaitree · 21/09/2023 22:24

SirCharlesRainier · 21/09/2023 22:22

Depends whether it was the Corfu '06 album.

love it! 😂

OP posts:
Watchkeys · 21/09/2023 22:27

bonzaitree · 21/09/2023 22:22

I don’t think it’s like having a full on affair of course I’m not that daft.

Im not sure whether it’s worth mentioning to him or whether I should just leave it.

Do you think other people can advise you on that, and if so, why?

Tilllly · 21/09/2023 22:28

How did you find out?

TinglingTangling · 21/09/2023 22:34

Not cheating and maybe you should grow up a bit as well.

PuddlesPityParty · 21/09/2023 22:36

Seriously?? I do wonder who the hell makes these kinds of threads 🙄

AlwaysPrettyOnTheInside · 21/09/2023 22:44

bonzaitree · 21/09/2023 22:22

I don’t think it’s like having a full on affair of course I’m not that daft.

Im not sure whether it’s worth mentioning to him or whether I should just leave it.

How do you know he looked her up?

We're you snooping on his SM?

fiddlesticksandotherwords · 21/09/2023 22:45

Not cheating.

Aquamarine1029 · 21/09/2023 22:55

bonzaitree · 21/09/2023 22:22

I don’t think it’s like having a full on affair of course I’m not that daft.

Im not sure whether it’s worth mentioning to him or whether I should just leave it.

What would you "mention", exactly? He's entitled to his privacy and he's entitled to still be curious about people who were in his life. He's allowed a past, you know. You would only "mention" this in order to control him. Not ok.

AprQ · 21/09/2023 22:58

You need to get a grip and I’m putting that nicely. Why/how would you even start that conversation? ‘Oh btw, I was looking through your social media and I can see that you’ve searched up your ex. Why have you done that?’ You sound ridiculous.

I have two kids with someone (youngest is only 17 months old) yet sometimes I look at my ex’s IG. I last spoke to him years ago! I’m just nosy and people are allowed to be nosy without you accusing them of cheating

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