I have been married for 25 years and have 3 children, one in college, one teen and one 6 year old. I work full time, so does he.
I do what he like to call "the admin stuff", otherwise known as everything needed to run a family. A life.
I do everything regarding school for the children: all parents evenings, all commincations, all apps, all projects, all payments, all admin. I buy the uniforms and the shoes and the bags and the books and the pens. I sign every form and make every decision.
I do every dr and dentist and optician and hospital appt (one child has quite a lot of these). I do all medications and management and decisions.
I do all birthday presents, xmas presents, birthday parties, treats. For our children and his large extended family. I plan book and organise every holiday, every flight, every trip or activity, every weekend. I pack for everyone. Anything fun I organise, down to playing a board game of an evening or a cinema trip.
I buy all the kids clothes, shoes, electronics, toiletries, anything they need. I organise haircuts. I do their bus passes, canteen cards, phone contracts, xbox gamepass their pocket money. I monitor their phone use and online presence.
I pay the bills, do the taxes, manage the money, I budget, I save.
I do the house, I bought and assembled every piece of furniture myself, I put up shelves and mirrors and curtain rails and pictures. I chose it all and I bought it all and I built it all.
I stay in touch with his family and I cook for them and host them and buy his mothers/siblings/neices and nephews birthday and xmas and so on gifts.
I do most of the shopping, most of the cooking, most of the cleaning.
He won't learn to do his daughters hair so I have to style it every day, he can't do a straight ponytail. I organise everything for everyone, all the time.
He does 75% of the laundry and mows the lawn (except when I do it) and reads to the youngest child at night. He cooks easy food once or twice a week and does a small bit of housework. He says he pulls his weight just fine and that he works harder (my job hsa a lot more responsibility than his and I work overtime too) He does not understand what I am complaining about.
I can't take the responsibility of it anymore. I don't get any gratitude, its all minimised and expected. He always has someone to rely on, who do I have? No-one. I don't get any affection either most of the time, he says we've drifted apart but really that means I ahev stopped meekly accepting that in order for things to be ok I have not ever have any feelings and just pretend everything is ok. Everyting is my responsibiluty.
I want him to go but I don't want to be alone. I'm too old to start again and I'll be poor anyway on one salary. he says he has nowhere to go and this is his home anyway and I can't make him.
No idea why I'm writing any of this. It might not make sense.