Caught Husband watching other women on Tik Tok

[Sparrow669]

i caught my Husband watching other women on Tik Tok , the sexy dancing all that vibe, I found this out by joining Tik Tok and noticed he followed a bunch of random women on there all ones that did these stupid videos.

We have happily married for 8 years with two kids.

A few months back I found a sexy picture on a WhatsApp group of a random girl with her b**bs out on a group with his mates. Which he had left his IPad out and it had shown up on the notifications. Luckily the kids didn’t see! We had a discussion then about how it made me feel. Now this Tik Tok this has just thrown me right off. Starting to feel really insecure in myself.

I don’t check his phone ever , I don’t even know his password. I’m not one to ask about who he’s messaging or anything. Tbh I’m a super chill wife but this has just really loose trust.

Any help or advice would be appreciated
And I don’t believe in men are ‘visual’ creatures rubbish , I don’t feel the need to watch half naked men online so I’m not sure why men get the free pass on that.

It’s just seedy, isn’t it? I also think things like 50 shades of grey are seedy too though. It was a book about sex, and people were reading it in public and I am not sure what the point was if not to get some sexual thrill. Same with Tik tok videos of boobs etc.

but then I also think porn is seedy.

i understand men and women “in the wild” seeing other men and women and finding them attractive. But I think actively seeking out sources to be attracted by is a bit disrespectful. I’ve never needed or been attracted to someone other than my husband but then we have only been married 8 years so maybe in another 10 who knows. I just think it’s a bit of a slippery slope tbh. If you seek this stuff out it’s only going in one direction.

I’m going through this exact thing at the moment. We have other issues in our marriage but it’s tipped me over the edge. We have 2 children who both have phones. My husband was following over 400 of these accounts with his name and face, publicly for anyone to see. It’s an utter disrespect to me as his wife and I would be disgusted if our children saw. My husband claimed to not know how they got there, unfollowed them but kept the app, so they’ll still all be showing up. I’m having a really hard time showing him any kind of affection and don’t want him anywhere near me!!

Yuk

Whatever works for you I suppose

It's just the male equivalent of 50 shades and that type of graphic porn literature. Men are more visually stimulated.

Not all men or all women will indulge in that, but it's common.

Watching them wouldn't bother me, but my red lines are:

a) sending them money that could be spent on our family
b) messaging them directly
c) publicly interacting with their profile in a way others can see, that includes being a "follower".

Ok but I’m just saying it’s fine if OP isn’t ok with it - I wouldn’t be. Some people on here are ok with it and are belittling her feelings but we all have levels of what we are comfortable with.

Bang on!!! Exactly what i was going to post. Men visual creatures excuse for men ogling other women and making OH feel guilty because 'its just men...innit' 🙄. Absolute BS.

Not how I'd spend my time but if that's what you both enjoy.

I think you meant to say anyONE you found attractive. It's fair to say the feeling probably wouldn't be reciprocated anyway if you're both lecherously checking everyone out who's going about their business.

I find looking at photos and videos of male fitness models, male strippers, and the hotter male porn actors etc. .. Tends to focus their tiny minds on why this behaviour might be uncomfortable for their partner.

“Men are more visually stimulated” is uttter bollocks people spout to justify disrespect.

It's a stereotype but it explains why women tend to read porn and men watch it.

I wouldn’t stress it tbh …can you honestly say you never look at anything ? If you want to dig and I mean any of us you will always find something

Sexy dancing on TikTok? And that is a danger to your marriage somehow? Those videos are 60 sec long.
Or picture of boobs someone else sent on a group of men WhatsApp.

What about bums, boobs, etc - in summer dresses on the streets - or on a beach? Does your H need to be wearing a blackout helmet - or better yet not leave the house?

Do you honestly not see the difference in happening to see people out in public that are attractive vs seeking it out for sexual gratification?

The latter is perverted. And disrespectful, especially when you have a partner.

There is a huge difference between going to the beach with your family and you happen to notice if there are attractive people around vs some creepy person going to the beach with the purpose of ogling others in their swimwear. Which is what people are doing when they deliberately follow these types of accounts. They're just objectifying and ogling.

And people in relationships have every right to expect their partners to not behave in this way.

Hmmm... I'm afraid I think that all men look to be honest. Some are just more subtle about it than others.

If they're not on TikTok then they'll be checking out other women in RL.

Why are so many adult men so fucking immature. It's a real turn off imo.

Yep it’s soooo natural to watch naked women on TikTok, even the cavemen did it 🙄

Where are you finding naked women on tik tok? Attractive women doing some dance trend is not naked women

If you understood men you would understand why this is totally natural.

Newsflash, men like boobs!

This 100%

The ones my husband was following was basically porn!

Facts.

This thread and most of the comments makes me really glad I’m single.
Wouldn’t want to waste my time with a man like this.

From being a man and knowing other men, this is the least of your worries....

Did you misunderstand my saying I think 50 shades is also grim?

the difference though is that 50 shades is fiction. Those are real people
on tik tok.

This! If only they knew what goes on in mens wattsapp groups!