Partner won't respect boundaries

[Potatodaisy]

Sorry tmi.

I usually use the combined pill however I couldn't pick up repeat prescription in time and told my partner we would have to use condoms or pull out. We had non barrier sex and he finished inside me despite telling him he can't. He's done it several times in the past when I've had issues with the pill (eg illness as I feel if there's an issue he should know). Also when we normally have sex he tends to tell me when he's close and this time he didn't most likely so he could continue. I physically couldn't stop him doing it as either I'm in a position I can't or even when we do girl on top he physically grabs and moves me so I can't. I know it sounds stupid as I did choose to sleep with him but I've said so many times he can't just ignore me and how would he feel if I lied about being on the pill and forced him into a potential unplanned pregnancy situation yet he is choosing to do this to me. He says he gets carried away and he's sorry but it feels awful as I feel like I can't even trust him with sex anymore. What should I do to address this? For background we had an unplanned pregnancy which I terminated as we both agreed it was for thr best which is why it feels even worse he does this.

The harping on about women 'trapping' men is a massive red flag. It smacks of having hung around the manosphere picking up misogyny.

That's why he has no qualms about accidentally getting you pregnant. He clearly doesn't like women very much. Think about that for a minute. You are in a relationship with a man who hates women.

OP this is so important, please read it over and over again. Even if you manage to get support and a resolution to this particular issue - which I think is very unlikely - his overall lack of respect for you as a woman is going to manifest itself in other ways, for the rest of your relationship. There's just no fixing this type.

You dump his sorry arse and find someone who respects you

He held you in place so he could do is thing no dressing it up your partner is a rapist get out of the situation and consider reporting to the police

This is abuse, controlling behaviour, lack of respect, total unboundaried behaviours that mean YOU CANNOT TRUST THIS PRICK - literally he is a prick. Get him out of your life and vag.

Ironically he believes that if a woman lies about being on the pill that that is rape of the man

Ahh, what you have here amongst other things, is a hypocrite.

Actions speak louder than words and when someone someone shows you who they are, listen. I know it’s hard to accept that the person you love and says they love you, disrespects you. However, it’s not because he doesn’t understand, it’s because he simply doesn’t care enough about your autonomy. One of life’s victims who doesn’t believe they should not be held accountable for their actions. Urgh, so unattractive.

I highly doubt his entitlement begins or ends with this behaviour, don’t be the woman who constantly wrings their hands wailing “if he could only see”. He does see, he just doesn’t care.

This is rape. You have not consented to this. He is also physically preventing you from moving away and forcing you to endure his ejaculation.

The fact that you have already endured an unplanned pregnancy and subsequent termination makes this even more horrific. He’s prepared to make you suffer again and again. He is a monster.

If you are now pregnant and you choose to keep it he will tell everyone, especially his next girlfriend, that you told him you were on the pill and you trapped him.

He's awful OP. I'm sorry to say this as I know you love him a lot, but he doesn't even respect you or your wants, needs and health let alone love you. This kind of guy only loves himself and loves what you can do for him.

Going through a termination is a physically traumatic time even if there are no emotional 'should I have a baby' wobbles (whcih there often are). He is showing he doesn't care at all if you go through this again, the location of his orgasm is more important. He can get in the BIN - please please don't sleep with him again unless he has a vasectomy or you will be in my position (see username- And my baby was planned). I agree with the rape/sexual assault comments although I know it's hard to get your head around now one day you will look back and be furious at this nasty boy.

I'm also willing to bet that this man doesn't care if you orgasm unless it's a perfirmative might be fakes scream of delight.

Vom.

OP, he is physically restraining you during sex. This is rape. You sound young and vunerable, please ring rape crisis and get help - and walk away. I was raped repeatedly when I was married, always when he came home drunk. This was prior to 1990, so wasn't a criminal offence. It has left me with life long scars and feelings of worthlessness. Please, please leave him. Don't rationalise his behaviour or associate it with contraception. He is an abuser.

Sorry when I say get support I mean moving on from the fact it's assault and moving on on my own because its upsetting to go through this.

He’s a woman-hating rapist. Please leave him OP.

Bin him, he’s an arsehole.