Cheating wife, should I confront or not

[Namechanged4thisCheatingWife]

I found out and have evidence that my wife is cheating on me.
In all other aspects of our marriage we are very happy, we have a child together and they are the centre of our world.
I know that our issues are down to a lack of sex, this has been down to a number of reasons. Years ago she had issues that meant she had to go for cervical scans every 3 months and that stopped things for a while, that eventually cleared up. Then we took a long time to conceive, which was followed by a miscarriage. That was hard to get over and led to a long time of no intimacy.
Eventually we tried again, sex felt routine to try and get pregnant. But she did, and no have a wonderful child.

Sex has been sporadic and not a lot since then. Whenever we dtd it felt routine and boring. We needed excitement, neither of us instigated any changes, I thought she just wasn't looking for anything more than the same routine. Then months went by...and neither of us were tried and we have become stuck in a horrible rut of little sex.
I have since found out that she is now cheating on me, the messages indicate to me that she is more adventurous and sexually charged than I thought.

I'm not sure that confronting her is the solution. As I know the reasons why she has strayed, and I think it can be fixed if I instigate things in the bedroom. But as it has been so long it has become difficult to do. How do I do that?
The problem has definitely been on both sides.

I guess my thinking is if I can get our sex life back on track, I can get our marriage back, and am hoping that this will lead to her cheating ending (which I believe it would). Pr am I just living in cuckoo land?

@Fairymcclary ”I am sorry you are in this situation. You didn’t cause it and you cannot control it. People don’t cheat due to unmet needs they cheat due to core issues which have affected their integrity, honesty and other values.”

Absolutely spot on. OP everyone in this loop deserves to know. It’s not malicious or vengeful to tell other parties, it’s the only fair thing to do. When everyone has the relevant information they can make properly informed choices.
Until there is no contact between them there will be no proper reconciliation, if that’s what you want. Whilst they are in touch in any way, the affair is continuing. No consequences of this behaviour (‘catalyst’ as you put it) have been felt by either of them, so no clear objective thinking will happen (still in affair thinking mode) or concrete decisions will be made. They are both fence sitting. This nonsense has to stop one way or another and boundaries drawn with possible consequences felt. Nobody who thinks their life is about to blow up thinks it’s a good idea to meet up with their AP.
Time to draw a line and make sure that everyone involved knows what’s going on and has agency in the situation. Tears and apologies are meaningless without actions to back them up.

What has she apologised for, the affair or getting caught?

For the affair

Suspecting your wife of having an affair, being pretty certain she is to the extent where you think you have evidence and hearing it from her directly (together with all the rest sols you are going to want) are crushingly different things. I discovered my wife’s affair after suspecting for a long time. The feeling of your life disappearing in front of you, your past being thrown in the bin and your heart being ripped out are feelings you wouldn’t wish on anyone. Look away from the bedroom for a moment, are you really close? Do you laugh, share and talk about everything and anything? Do you both feel pride in your relationship and share a goal to be the best you can be? I suspect not, very few people tick these boxes. I would instigate some talking about how you can both be your very best selves and share your lives completely. As to the affair, maybe drive it out with kindness and trying to be the best soul mate to her. Hope this helps and isn’t too avoidant.