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Original poster

Sister refusing to come to my wedding

56 replies

Charlie201526 · 31/08/2023 10:55

I’ve been with my partner for 15 years we are due to get married in 2 weeks. I’ve had a falling out with my sister I currently provide childcare for her free of charge twice a week and she talks to me so rudely and insinuates I’m not looking after my niece properly ( when she knows I am think she does it whenever she is in a bad mood) anyway I snapped back that untill she apologised to me for the way she has spoken to me I will not provide childcare. She has refused to apologise and is now pulled out of her and my baby niece coming to my wedding.

m what happens when a sister won’t come to your wedding how do you get past this if you can such a big thing feels just utterly nasty and hateful. !!!

OP posts:
firstmummy2019 · 31/08/2023 10:57

You say "OK" and get on with your life.

ginandlemonade23 · 31/08/2023 10:58

She sounds like an ungrateful nightmare and I would not be providing free childcare for her again. I would leave her be if she decides not to celebrate your wedding that's on her

WorseDecision · 31/08/2023 10:59

Just say that's fine, and don't provide childcare when she finds out nobody else will provide her free childcare and she has to pay through the roof for it.

Trenchfootinthescottishhighlandstoday · 31/08/2023 10:59

Well there won't be a scowling bitch in the wedding photos. Sounds like a win. And good for you for sticking up for yourself.

2chocolateoranges · 31/08/2023 11:00

You just get on with your life. It’s her loss, by the sound of things.

FuckoffeeBeforeCoffee · 31/08/2023 11:02

Chances are she will get over it in time for the wedding.

Right now, she needs you more than you need her so she's trying to hurt you with the only thing she has - attending your wedding, so you come crawling back and she doesn't have to apologise.

Ignore her until she comes to you.

PatientZorro · 31/08/2023 11:04

Don’t back down (which is what she’s expecting). Have a fantastic day, all the better for her not being there causing bad vibes.

Good luck to her finding the cash to replace all that free childcare. Tough - she should’ve thought about that before being such a cow to you.

Aria2015 · 31/08/2023 11:05

How upsetting. Does she have mental health problems? Well done for standing up for yourself. You're very generous giving her free childcare and she should appreciate you, not take her bad moods out on you. She's really cutting her nose off to spite her face by refusing to come to the wedding too. It will be very hard to repair your relationship if she does that. Do you have a family member that can give her straight talking to? A parent or sibling?

I think I'd find it so hard to forgive a sibling for not coming to my wedding under these circumstances. I really hope she sees sense and makes amends before your big day.

Codependantnomore · 31/08/2023 11:07

Accept her decision and have a great wedding without her. Also enjoy the time you will get back from doing free childcare. Feck her.

IncognitoMam · 31/08/2023 11:07

Agree with everyone. Let her get on with it.

Binglebong · 31/08/2023 11:07

I know it hurts but you cannot control other people's behaviour. If you consider that you have behaved correctly then leave it, what she does is up to her.

readbooksdrinktea · 31/08/2023 11:08

She'd need to find other childcare arrangements, if I were you. She's being rude when you're looking after her kid for free? Nope.

So, you've done the right thing. Let her sulk and have a great wedding day.

FFSWhatToDoNow · 31/08/2023 11:09

My wedding day was the first time I had seen or spoken to my sister in 7 years. It didn’t improve our relationship and I still wish she hadn’t come.

OhCobblers · 31/08/2023 11:12

PatientZorro · 31/08/2023 11:04

Don’t back down (which is what she’s expecting). Have a fantastic day, all the better for her not being there causing bad vibes.

Good luck to her finding the cash to replace all that free childcare. Tough - she should’ve thought about that before being such a cow to you.

Completely agree!
She sounds awful.

I'm going to take a wild guess and suggest that she doesn't do anything nice for you to say "thank you" for the free childcare she's received?!

caringcarer · 31/08/2023 11:13

Your sister does not sound very nice. She should be so grateful to you for giving her free childcare. She's trying to hurt you. Don't back down. Leave it to your sister to either apologise to you or turn up to your wedding. I'd not offer her free childcare again. Let her find out what she's missing when she has to pay for it. Enjoy your wedding day.

my82my · 31/08/2023 11:18

My DH sister didn't come to our wedding. We've been back in contact for around 6 months for the first time in over 2 years.. Awkward when she sits in my front room now and notices the framed wedding pictures.
What do your parents think, could they not bring your niece so she doesn't miss out,

Blinkinbloodyhayfever · 31/08/2023 11:20

Have a lovely wedding and forget about her for the day. If she doesn't come you won't have to deal with her drama. Is she jealous that everyone is exciting about your wedding coming up? Just get your mum to confirm she isn't coming, and then take her off the table plan.

HappiDaze · 31/08/2023 11:21

She's missing out not you

You've done nothing wrong

AuntieMarys · 31/08/2023 11:21

Would you want anyone like that there?

OilOfRoses · 31/08/2023 11:23

Just get on with it and don't let it spoil your day. It's her loss.

PowerhouseOfTheCell · 31/08/2023 11:24

Tell the bitch to swivel

Nanny0gg · 31/08/2023 11:27

Stop being a mug. Stop worrying and enjoy your wedding.

What do the rest of the family think?

MarshyMcMarshFace · 31/08/2023 11:33

Stay calm polite and firm.

”I feel upset and taken for granted that I gladly take care of xxx but am spoken to rudely. However, your invitation to my wedding is a separate issue, and still stands as far as I am concerned. But naturally you must make your own choices”

And get on with enjoying your wedding.

BanditsOnTheHorizon · 31/08/2023 11:36

firstmummy2019 · 31/08/2023 10:57

You say "OK" and get on with your life.

Yep this is exactly what I'd do too

Your ds is a cf and taking the piss out of you AND you've been doing her a favour. Leave her to it and enjoy the day - it's her loss (on both counts, wedding and free childcare)

Lastchancechica · 31/08/2023 11:53

MarshyMcMarshFace · 31/08/2023 11:33

Stay calm polite and firm.

”I feel upset and taken for granted that I gladly take care of xxx but am spoken to rudely. However, your invitation to my wedding is a separate issue, and still stands as far as I am concerned. But naturally you must make your own choices”

And get on with enjoying your wedding.

This