Lionbeast- Just as the others have said really.
I can also empathise myself with the breastfeeding. My mother used to burst into my bedroom (where I'd been driven to feeding ds to escape her critical eye)
Hands on hips, she'd gasp and say 'ARE YOU FEEDING HIM AGAIN', yep he was a nb too.
You have done well to recognise her behaviour for what it is.
Yes, my mum can be nice too, but it's usually when there is something in it for her or she is trying to give an impression of being a good mum to someone else who is present at the time OR she feels threatened in some way.
For example when I moved closer to dh's family and she found out MIL would be helping out with chiuldcare....=major threat to her, out comes miss'es nice....never for long though.
danae- just wanted to say sorry about your sister. But I can only re-iterate what the others have said.
You have no doubt in your mind that they are what they are and for your sister to have knowledge/memory of such horrendous abuse but choose to play it down/ignore it is just plain ugly and disrespectful.
You are not the nutter they want....sorry NEED you to be in order to make themselves ok.
YOU are the strong one, possessing an inner strength they will never have.
Gloriana- Im glad I made you smile. Like Danae said humour wil set us free. Feel better refferring to her now as bonkers as it kind of makes her smaller and less scary.
Having said that I am dropping ds off their tommorrow and although Ive told myself its just the one day a week I still feel a bit twisted inside about it.
Re your dcs project...did you experience this yourself as a child...I guess as ally has already said, can you find a link?
Would it be worth sitting down with dc's and discussing it with them (sorry dont have dc's of this age) But I am sure when I do Im going to have similar experiences.
Ally- jury's out for me at the moment.
Currently- I dont miss them. I still have flashes of anger. Still have flashes of regret. But the regret is more for what I will never have.
TMSB- thanks for the definition. puts it into perspective for me...definately not indifferent, but definately detatched.
With regard to ms- I know exactly where you are with this. This is exactly how I felt about my mother prior to dd's birth.
It is a phase and it will pass, and you owe this seperation to yourself and your family.
As ally said she wont be giving you the same mental treatment... there will be no FOG in her camp I bet'ya.
CWE- 'My Mother has literally throughout my life, criticised every decision I have made, esp in those important formative years- been the one in my ear whispering that I couldn't do it and low and behold I couldn't. '
I absolutely relate to this, my mother was/is the same. The problem is I took her criticism and absorbed it and now it is part of my make up.
The inner critic ...a very destructive force indeed.