Allowing for being at home, being at work, and sleeping, the average couple (prior wfh) who are both working spend just 5 waking hours a day together on weekdays which is 260 hours. 30 days annual leave which is 480 waking hours and 52 weekends which is 1664 hours. So that’s a total of 2404 waking hours in a year. Retirement of both takes those waking hours to 5840, meaning the average extra waking time spent together in retirement is 3436. Obviously the figures change according to your individual circumstances.
I’ve been with DH for 40 years. For the majority of that time we have seen each other for maybe an hour at breakfast time, and 3-5 hours between getting home and bedtime. Holidays were always a treat because we got to spend more time together.
However, that is vastly different from being in the same space all day every day for the rest of your lives together and it does need some real thought on both sides about how it’s going to work. I was definitely concerned prior to retirement date. I am sociable, busy, have many friends who I see regularly and am just as happy with my own company doing nothing much at all. DH on the other hand has few friends, a bit of a loner, needs to have something to do and finds it hard to relax.
We are now 4years in and we have managed, without too much drama or falling out, to create a life that suits us both. My hobbies tend to be indoors whilst he is an outdoors person. We spend, on average, 3 days a week at least doing our own thing with him often out and about. We have our own rooms to retreat to in the house, I paint/create in the dining room and he spends time in the office editing and printing, and expanding his photography with online tutorials and tech stuff. Nothing is set in stone and we can do anything and change anything depending on how we feel that day. He does all the shopping and occasionally I’ll say ‘would you like me to come too’ he almost always says no unless it’s somewhere with mooching/lunch potential. Occasionally he will stay for coffee if my friends come over, but most of the time he says hi, makes us all coffee then potters off to his shed or office to do his own stuff.
not wanting to be joined at the hip, or always be in each others space for company, does not mean we love or like each other any less. It just means that we have learned to live together in harmony and each of us gets what we need/want.
I have to say though, we talked about what we thought it would look like in the months leading up to it, and we have discussed it again since. There is no point being resentful or silently seething if you haven’t communicated your feelings. And I’m not saying it was all easy, we’ve had one or two (blazing but quiet so the teenagers can’t hear) rows but, on the whole it works. The key is communication.