He was on Bumble during our date

[Wherethecrawdadssingg]

It’s only been a couple of weeks. No we haven’t agreed exclusivity as in officially together but did have a chat that we weren’t seeing or sleeping with others currently.

His location had changed to the area we were in. Must have been when I was at the bar ordering another round.

Later once he was back home, his location changed again to home.

I find that so so rude.

Especially since he is the one who pushes to see each other again, always texts first etc. It’s just hurtful.

How do you say, I find you being on the app whilst you were out with me and in general swiping, a piss take …without looking like you’ve gone nuts.

I would just dump him and move on, sorry. No need to refer to the app stuff, just say it’s not working bye.

Maybe he was looking at your pictures/trying to remember what you'd messaged about. I have done this before.

Been a few years since I was on Bumble but I thought it updated your location automatically depending on where your phone was...

And presumably you went on Bumble at the time of your date to be able to see where he was anyway?

Very respectfully OP, were you not on the app too to notice his location had changed?

Yes I was on the app to specifically check.

I've never used Bumble but I'm also wondering this?

No I went on it later after he’d left to check.

Location may update automatically. Or he may have checked it to confirm something you said or remind himself of something.
You checking it specifically for this reason is a bit strange. If you're worried about him at this stage doesn't bode well! Move on!

Perhaps he was on the app for the same reason as you? Checking up on each other...

Location doesn’t update automatically. I doubt he was checking convo. We’ve been on WhatsApp chatting for ages now.

Location updates automatically on Tinder, so guessing it might be the same for Bumble.

I think that's far more likely than him deliberately changing his location mid date!

This way madness lies !!

as he’s done nothing wrong (yet!)

sit tight for a few days and then when he asks for another date day

as we are now intimate I’d prefer it if we both describe our profiles on bumble whilst we figure this out

He either says yes or no
if thats your boundary just say it

Why would you feel the need to check? There could be many reasons he was on the app not all of them bad. I think you might need to sit back and see what happens. Maybe you could have the conversation again and ask if he is dating other people?

Not describe !
de activate

you will see him in the chat you had but that’s all

also are these trust issues you related
or him related ?

Why is it OK for you to check up on whether he was on the app, but not OK for him to do the same?

But either way it sounds like it's not working... if you can trust each other at the beginning then when will you?

And frankly, if you're this distrustful and paranoid about him, you're not ready to be intimate.

Honestly, you even having the thought to check up on him like that during the date is worse IMO than him having opened an app.

I can't tell you how many times I've been faffing with my phone and opened Instagram or Twitter through no more than habit.

And that's assuming Bumble doesn't update automatically. Tinder definitely does, when I was single I'd come home from many a business trip with guys from that place showing up as options, despite my not having opened the app while away.

He needs to run. Fast.

@Thisisworsethananticpated tell me about it. Him related I think.

Is there a chance he just never logs out of it?

For instance, if Facebook shows location it would constantly show mine as I never log out. Doesn’t mean I’m always using it though, it’s just there in the background.

I wouldn’t mention this to him - I find it absolutely batshit that you’ve only been chatting for 2 weeks, are on your first date and have logged in to check up on him. If you don’t want to continue anything, just tell him you don’t see it working out and call it a day.

I do wonder whether you’re ready for dating in general though, based on your trust issues. Unless he’s given you reasons not to trust him, in which case why go on the date in the first place?

@harerunner intimacy isn’t the issue. I’m fine with that side. It’s the potential side swiping.

@CutiePatooties not a first date. Much further in than that

It looks like Bumble doesn't require a deliberate location change. If he'd opened the App, he'd have seen your location changed too!

bumble.com/en/help/can-i-use-bumble-without-location-permissions#:~:text=While%20using%20the%20app%20%2D%20Your,it's%20running%20in%20the%20background.

If I were your date and read this thread, I'd likely dump you for your ultra suspicious mindset.

Don't see him again. I am all about not dropping everybody else after a first meet up but after few weeks what he is doing is not ok. He isn't truly interested in you as he is checking other options out.

Two weeks isn't much further on than first date!