He was on Bumble during our date

[Wherethecrawdadssingg]

It’s only been a couple of weeks. No we haven’t agreed exclusivity as in officially together but did have a chat that we weren’t seeing or sleeping with others currently.

His location had changed to the area we were in. Must have been when I was at the bar ordering another round.

Later once he was back home, his location changed again to home.

I find that so so rude.

Especially since he is the one who pushes to see each other again, always texts first etc. It’s just hurtful.

How do you say, I find you being on the app whilst you were out with me and in general swiping, a piss take …without looking like you’ve gone nuts.

This. And the location absolutely changes automatically. Mine did when I went away and started getting interest from some very nice Portuguese guys near where I was staying

If you can't see the difference between actively using a dating app while on a date and still figuring out if it's serious enough to be exclusive out then quite frankly I'm not surprised by the quality of men half of the women on here end up with. If you want to let yourself be treated like that then that's entirely up to you, but I woukd certainly not give any man who did a second thought. I've dumped people for much less, but then I have really good boundaries and I'm attractive enough that I'm not desperate.

Because they did literally exactly the same thing?
He really doesn't look nuts, I know it's often the MN narrative to demonise men but you've taken that a huge leap by describing him as 'nuts' for a location change on an app that he might know nothing about.

To the OP, try not to overthink it and set some clear boundaries in the relationship - if you want to work on a relationship together then you both need to de-activate your profiles.

I wasn't on Bumble, but with another app I had the experience that when I travelled, I got messages from nearby men for whom I'd evidently just popped up as a new potential date in their area. So a) it was updating automatically and b) I looked at the app to see what the messages were, as you do. If someone thought I was chatting to other men and dumped me, that would have been a good thing, though, as I am not patient with people who are jealous or jump to conclusions.

Bumble definitely updates my location for me. I was away this weekend and came home last night to lots of likes from guys from that area. I hadn’t logged in all weekend.

Men come and go but bumble is a constant

🤣🤣🤣

Absolutely. I was inundated with likes from both Greek locals and other holiday makers while I was on holiday recently.

And I wasn’t checking the app while I was away as definitely wasn’t looking for a holiday hook up so yes the location changes without logging in.

Bumble does auto update the location when you open it - you don't have to tell it to do so.
He probably just opened up the app to check some details on your Profile OP, or to check some detail of the conversation you've been having on there. Just because he opened the app - doesn't mean he was actively looking for someone else! There's no evidence at all that he was actively doing anything on the app.
You've said in your opening post that you haven't agreed exclusivity. You even opened the app yourself when you got home!
Maybe he was replying to a message he received on the app - much like someone might reply to a text or WhatsApp. As you aren't exclusive i don't see an issue with this.

Give him a chance OP, judge him by his behaviour towards you OP - not by his latest location on Bumble. It literally means nothing.

People who use bumble have said it updates the location automatically (makes sense, as other singles in your area can then get in contact). OP doesn’t know he was actively using the app whilst on the date with her - all she knows is that he still has the app, so is possibly still talking to/dating others. She also has the app, so is at least open to doing the same. The only person we know who has actively used the app whilst on the date is the OP.

Answers would of course be different if she knew that he had been using the app whilst on the date with her. For example, if she came back to the table and saw he was messaging someone else or was searching for people on there. That’s completely different, I wouldn’t even stay and entertain the date, I would leave. However, she doesn’t have proof he was using the app whilst on the date with her. If he is always logged in and it automatically updates location, that isn’t the same as him talking to/searching for others whilst on their date.

You told her to give him the boot but not to tell him why. Why not??? In your opinion, discreetly checking up on a man (like some private detective) she’s only known a couple of weeks and been on a few dates with just shows she has high standards. Why not tell him what she did then?

You’re forgetting that if he also logged in to check if she was using it, he’d be coming on saying the same thing as her! They both still have the dating app, I don’t know why your looks and high standards come into this, but I’d hazard a guess that if you’re single then they are not the reasons why.

If someone thought I was chatting to other men and dumped me, that would have been a good thing, though, as I am not patient with people who are jealous or jump to conclusions.

This, it's the OP and all those posters who leap to the worst possible conclusion and then extrapolate some more (apparently one poster even thinks the man looks nuts!) who are the ones that are the hazards in a relationship.