An old friend from uni just got in contact with me from 20 years back and is saying risky things, what’s he doing?

[Whydothat1]

I haven’t spoken to him in 20 years. We shared a flat at uni and one night I remember having a cuddle and bit of a grope lol.

He has separated from him wide and has basically asked me how my sex life is and whether my partner gives me the attention I need. Then he asked if I remember the grope and if I would have wanted it to go further.

I’ve not spoken in 20 years what’s he playing at? That was a lifetime ago!

Grim. It's pretty clear what he's thinking. 🙄

Also we only have his word for it that he's no longer married.

Just block him.

Honestly just block him. I'd want my partner to do the same if we were in a happy relationship with a new baby. He's a creep!

You can't possibly be this naive.

But in case you are...you know where your new baby came from? Well he's casting out a net to all his women contacts to get some of that , you know, how babies are made, because he's single now and clearly lonely.

Ignore him or don't its up to you.

How would you feel if you found out your partner carried on speaking to an old friend after "it got weird"

Block him, before your partner has a right to be pissed off about this.

Its not happened to me before but yeah it’s got weird.

He’s gross and fishing. I’d been with my DP for over a decade, living together etc when I had this with an old friend who I’d known for years (never had a fling or anything with him though). Called him out on his behaviour, told how unacceptable it was etc, blocked and haven’t spoken to him for 8 or 9 years now.

just call him out on his appalling behaviour then block. If you’re feeling extra savage you could rip him a new one about how poor his fondling/kissing skills were and you’re thankful it never went any further as you imagine it would’ve been mediocre 😆

He's contacting other women, casting a wide net as been said.
If you're an older average looking bloke you're bottom of the queue to be picked for sex unless you are rich. They get rejected so much they're desperate for anything. He cares more about getting any sex at all that he doesn't care about your feelings, your marriage, your husband. He only cares about trying to get sex.

He's probably just after a Sext conversation. He probably doesn't even want actual sex with you.

Just tell him the messages are inappropriate and dont reply further..

Why are women so worried about calling this out to the man who's actually doing it??

I'ts so so common with on-line dating and this guy is probably doing it to others he's chatting to on there - he probably just remembered you from the past and thought he'd try it on with you. Just call it out - honestly tell him he's being inappropriate!!

Blimey - he's going through his very old "little black book" in the vague hope of finding someone from his past desperate enough to shag him. How sad is he? Shut him down!

Block and move on

This isn’t about you and your situation, it’s about him and his situation (dumped and horny).

i had a similar ish situation. It’s boring. Just don’t respond, leave it a few hours then block. It will not get any better, it will only get worse/ more annoying/ more boring.

Yeah I didn’t mind an old friend conversation, how have you been etc. It’s odd how he seems to think he knows me but hasn’t a clue. Men are odd sometimes.

Id reply.

Hey. I was happy to have a general catch up but it’s not ok for you to be asking me things like that at all. As you know I’m married, happily and I’m not interested in you at all in the way you have implied.

You clearly know and are getting a bit of a buzz from it hense the post.

Instead of feeling flattered you should be offended that he thinks you could be so easily manipulated into thinking a nostalgic fumble is even possible with you.

I’m not really flattered it’s a bit gross really. He’s a grown man with a separated wife and child who I’ve not seen since I was 18, I’m 40 now. He actually asked me if my partner satisfied my needs. Threw me a little!

"What a strange and inappropriate thing to say. I think it's best to end this conversation now, please don't contact me again."

Then block.

Don't continue speaking to him if he's said something like that, he's vile.

Just block him.

Block him.

Why are you entertaining it fgs? Happy marriage get you're posting about some random who groped you? Asking how your sex life is with your husband

Is this a serious post? BLOCK.

And live your happy marriage without worrying about some random man

Yes it’s real an no I won’t be continuing the weird conversation. I’ve said that the past is a life time ago and I hope he can work it out with his wife.

Just tell him to go and perv at someone else sad little man.

Don't be polite about it. How insulting to speak to you like that.

He's noticed you've just had a baby, might be feeling vulnerable and lonely and thought he'd go fishing to see where it takes him. You won't be the only one. He's just laying bait to see which one will take it.

We live a lonngggg way from each other so really isn’t much chance lol!

He's looking for a weak woman with low boundaries.

Don't be the pushover op.

Shut his conversation down, the man has no respect.

I showed my partner the msgs and he just laughed and said yeah men lol then said he’s had women do it to in the past.