Bf hurt over party invite

[Champagneponies]

My sister invited me to a party a long time ago, which I forgot about. It's this weekend.

She reminded me today - I said I would go.

Spoke to bf today who is working a few hours away this week. We had made no plans to see each other and had made the assumption he was working this weekend. We don't live together. I mention party and he's not bothered.
Later in conversation it arises who is going and my ex will be there.

Bf then asks why I didn't invite him. I say ofcourse he's invited but I forgot about it & have only just been reminded. He then says I don't want him to go.

I would LOVE him to come. My genuine angle was not to put pressure on him as he's working away and has lots of priorities right now. I would always prefer to spend my time with him anyway.

I tell him this, and try to reassure him.

He repeats that I don't want him there, and so I try and pursuade him to come. He then says he can't come anyway as he will in fact be busy.

He then ends conversation to go to bed.

Meanwhile I'm left feeling very guilty and weird that he felt I didn't want him there. Have I been really mean? Part of me wants to text him and try and encourage him to come. But another part of me is torn. Help!

You've asked him to come, he has said no as he is too busy. So that is the end of it. Does he think you should stay at home and not go to your sisters party because he can't come?

He's throwing a wobbly because your ex is going to be there. Presumably he is aware that your Ex is friends with your sister's DP? And presumably given your ex still has contact with your family, then if you were hell bent on getting back with or having a fling with your ex, then it would be easy enough for you to initiate contact, party or not?
So it is all a load of jealous nonsense he's invented in his head. If he doesn't trust you to go to a party where you will encounter your ex then he doesn't trust you to live in a community where your ex lives.

So you are either going to have to move out of the area and have no contact with your sister and BIL, or he's going to have to get used to the idea that a woman in her thirties is very likely to have an ex or two. And that it is perfectly possible for grown ups to encounter an ex partner and have no desire to leap into bed with them.

He needs to get a grip and you need to stop pandering to him.

You asked him to come, he said no - this should be the end of it.

If he has a problem with your ex being there, that's his problem.

If he doesn't trust you then he needs to finish it.

Do NOT cancel the invite.

I doubt very much whether he actually has something happening at the weekend that means he can't go. He's just being childish, it's a form of 'so there...'

He's an idiot.

Good job you found out now and can dump and run!

Woah @BibbityBobbety that was a lot of words to say you don't like women and don't think they should seek support on the internet for their relationships. MN hack - in the future just post a No need for the screeds of words and bullet points.

I think you need to be a bit firmer "you are invited and you are busy. That's fine"

It seems pandering to him isn't help