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Original poster

GF objects to ex seeing my family

57 replies

lostsoul88 · 07/08/2023 23:31

I recently went to an event for my niece (she was in a local play) (sisters daughter), unknown to me my sister invited my ex wife. Not a problem for me I said hi etc and that was pretty much it.

However my wife then posted it on Facebook and my new partner saw it and had a blazing row with me. I explained it’s nothing to do with me if my sister wants to invite her. I certainly didn’t go with her or even expect her to be there.

how is this my fault? Am I wrong to dismiss my new partners fears? She’s now saying I owe her a massive apology etc etc.

She’s also said my sister was out of order for including her. I don’t see why my ex should be isolated from my family she has known for 25 years even though we don’t really speak much.

OP posts:
Nevermay · 07/08/2023 23:35

You GF needs to wind her neck in, she is the one who needs to be apologising

HirplesWithHaggis · 07/08/2023 23:35

Dump the girlfriend. Far too controlling.

continentallentil · 07/08/2023 23:36

Your new GF sounds like a nutter.

I would run

Dillane · 07/08/2023 23:37

Run for the hills 🏃

BMW6 · 07/08/2023 23:37

Get a better GF, this one is controlling and a massive twat

Icepinkeskimo · 07/08/2023 23:38

Run and run fast, it’s only going to get worse.

Wishitsnows · 07/08/2023 23:39

Your new GF sounds wet insecure. You will have a nightmare with this one!

AtrociousCircumstance · 07/08/2023 23:39

Your GF is being incredibly unreasonable. Unless there’s more to this, I’d consider this a red flag and reconsider the relationship.

Wishitsnows · 07/08/2023 23:39

Very not wet!

Peacelily001 · 07/08/2023 23:41

Agree with all the previous posters OP, your GF is far too controlling. Massive red flag!

Tannedandfake · 07/08/2023 23:42

Why is your GF able to see your Ex wife’s posts on social media anyway?
But agree with PP’s is absolutely none of her business

Cloverforever · 07/08/2023 23:46

She's being massively controlling OP. Don't say you weren't warned!

HollyFern1110 · 07/08/2023 23:48

OP was probably tagged in the post hence GF seeing it.

Generally speaking I see people getting on OK with exs as a good thing. So long as they're not still popping round for tea 3 nights a week 😂. It shows a maturity that's quite attractive in a new partner.

GF is unlikely to ever change on this. Be warned.

ButterflyOil · 07/08/2023 23:50

She’s being ridiculous. You’ve done nothing wrong.

MrsElijahMikaelson1 · 07/08/2023 23:50

🚩 🏃‍♂️

thecatinthetwat · 07/08/2023 23:56

Ok, she’s over reacted, but she saw it on fb. Why didn’t you bring it up? With a new partner, I think I’d mention it and offer a bit of reasonable reassurance. From her perspective, you’ve been hanging out with your ex and not mentioned it. She doesn’t have any context.

NewNameNigel · 08/08/2023 00:01

I think posters here are being a bit disingenuous. I'm not sure many people want to find out that their partner has been hanging out with their ex via Facebook. Is there any reason that you didn't mention it to her? Can you not understand that it's a bit hurtful that she wasn't included but your ex was? Is there any reason that you didn't invite her?

NewNameNigel · 08/08/2023 00:03

Am I wrong to dismiss my new partners fears?

Being dismissive of your partner is unlikely to result in a happy relationship for either of you. You can listen to your partner without agreeing with them.

HirplesWithHaggis · 08/08/2023 00:12

NewNameNigel · 08/08/2023 00:01

I think posters here are being a bit disingenuous. I'm not sure many people want to find out that their partner has been hanging out with their ex via Facebook. Is there any reason that you didn't mention it to her? Can you not understand that it's a bit hurtful that she wasn't included but your ex was? Is there any reason that you didn't invite her?

It was OP's sister doing the inviting. Maybe she hasn't met the new gf. And hardly "hanging out" with his ex at an event for the niece.

HirplesWithHaggis · 08/08/2023 00:16

NewNameNigel · 08/08/2023 00:03

Am I wrong to dismiss my new partners fears?

Being dismissive of your partner is unlikely to result in a happy relationship for either of you. You can listen to your partner without agreeing with them.

And having a "blazing row" and demanding an apology for something over which OP had no control is the way to harmony?

Original poster
lostsoul88 · 08/08/2023 00:18

Well I only found out the ex was going an hour before the event. My GF was Down My neck 30 mins after getting home.

TBF I probably wouldn’t have mentioned it as to me it wasn’t a big deal. If she had asked who was there then of course I would have said.

Ive been seeing my GF for 7 months she sees her ex 3-4 times a week as they have a small child. I don’t give a hoot even when they go out for coffee after football/swimming etc. quite a bit of double standards I am thinking I might have to live on from Thai which is a shame as I really like her and we’ve been though quite a bit lately.

OP posts:
fdgdfgdfgdfg · 08/08/2023 00:45

Ditch her, I could be arse to live my life dealing with this shit.

HirplesWithHaggis · 08/08/2023 00:47

I am cynically wondering how much of "what you've been through" recently has been due to her creating drama?

MintJulia · 08/08/2023 00:48

I'd get rid of the girlfriend.

Your sister and your ex-wife are obviously friendly. That is healthy, normal and beyond your control.

The fact your gf thinks she can divide two friends who have known each other for 25 years because she doesn't like it, tells me your gf is insecure, controlling, entitled and will be a giant pain in the arse if she becomes a permanent fixture in your life.

It is none of her business. Why was she even following your ex-wife's SM. That, in itself, is weird. Doesn't she have her own life?

Ponderingwindow · 08/08/2023 00:52

Unless there is abuse, your family doesn’t have to sever ties with your ex when you end a relationship. Depending on how long it lasted, they may have formed their own bonds independent of the primary relationship.

your gf should understand this. If she can’t, then she isn’t mature enough for you.

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