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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

New man but he shoots as a hobby ...

374 replies

jumpinjax · 07/08/2023 10:27

He seems lovely but he's told me from the outset that he shoots as a hobby.
I don't have any major feelings about shooting one way or another , because I know so little about it but now told me that he's going on a big game shoot in Autumn and I don't know what I feel ... except maybe pity for the animals.
Would you get rid straight away?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
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Hbh17 · 07/08/2023 10:53

Just read the update, sorry - elephants and big cats are a definite 'no!

katherinexix · 07/08/2023 10:53

I was thinking birds or rabbits or something and that would have been bad enough, not bloody elephants and big cats! You've got to have something seriously wrong with you to look at a beautiful creature like that and then kill it. Absolutely vile.

FictionalCharacter · 07/08/2023 10:55

liveforsummer · 07/08/2023 10:32

I assumed birds (game birds) if it's rhino/big cats yes, I'd have a problem

He said big game. Big game means large animals, traditionally things like lions and tigers in Africa. It certainly doesn't mean shooting pheasants on an English estate!

RuthTopp · 07/08/2023 10:55

I came on here to say my uncle and cousin have this hobby and are good , normal people. Then I saw you don't mean clay shoots or targets , but live targets.
That would be a no from me , especially him being prepared to spend thousands on travelling across the world to shoot much larger animals.

EdgeOfACoin · 07/08/2023 10:56

Elephants and big cats?

No way.

HeadNorth · 07/08/2023 10:56

jumpinjax · 07/08/2023 10:49

I asked because I have no idea about this type of thing.
I suppose to me, so many animals are shot for a past time and it's legal and there are clubs for this sort of thing. It's a learning experience for me.

You have no idea whether it is OK to shoot an elephant? Or a big cat? Do you seriously have no moral compass of your own?

ShiteRider · 07/08/2023 10:57

Absofuckinglutely this would be a dealbreaker.

For so many reasons.

Smartiepants79 · 07/08/2023 10:58

Hmm, so no then!
Endangered wild animals are a different thing altogether.

readbooksdrinktea · 07/08/2023 10:58

HeadNorth · 07/08/2023 10:56

You have no idea whether it is OK to shoot an elephant? Or a big cat? Do you seriously have no moral compass of your own?

Have to admit I now wonder if this is a wind-up.

MumblesParty · 07/08/2023 10:59

Anyone who can shoot an elephant that isn’t actually about to trample them is an evil psychopath in my opinion. I would break up with him and tell him why.

AutumnalPumpkin · 07/08/2023 10:59

I was going to say game as in birds.. fine. Deer even, can tolerate. Absolutely not elephants, or anything else of the sort.

liveforsummer · 07/08/2023 11:00

@FictionalCharacter I'd assumed it was the size of the shoot that was big rather than the animals. Clearly I was wrong and wtf. Yes this would be a deal breaker now op has updated

SmirnoffIceIsNice · 07/08/2023 11:00

If it were grouse or pheasants I wouldn't be bothered because the kills are usually eaten afterwards.

Killing of elephants, large cats, rhinos, giraffes etc, absolutely no fucking way. Wouldn't even be able to be polite to the man, let alone date him.

Nix32 · 07/08/2023 11:00

Elephants and big cats? Absolutely not. I don't think I could have a civil conversation about it - there is nothing that justifies it.

SamW98 · 07/08/2023 11:01

jumpinjax · 07/08/2023 10:42

A controlled shoot of elephants and big cats I think in a reserve . I need to learn more .
And deer also. Again, controlled.

Absolutely no fucking way. Killing beautiful animals for an ego boost - repulsive

helloelsie · 07/08/2023 11:02

Do you know how elephants live in families and mourn and grieve when they experience death of loved ones like we do? They bury their dead and they try to help dying friends, lifting them with tusks and trunks and crying out in distress.
They also carry their babies for two whole years before giving birth, they are such precious and sacred animals and need to be protected - how can you support someone who is happy to tear apart their lives, families and happiness OP? This is utterly brutal.

Big cats too. So beautiful, endangered, we should be respecting life. Not destroying it!

Huge NO from me. Your partner makes me feel physically sick and I couldn't be in a room with someone like that. I feel like crying just knowing what he will be doing and that there are innocent beautiful animals alive right now who have no idea that soon he is going to come along and kill them, take their lives and rip their families apart. God help them.

isthismylifenow · 07/08/2023 11:02

jumpinjax · 07/08/2023 10:42

A controlled shoot of elephants and big cats I think in a reserve . I need to learn more .
And deer also. Again, controlled.

Oh no, not one of those....

I live in Africa. I am ok with people hunting buck etc and they use the meat for personal use. I know a lot of people who hunt.

However, these canned hunting trips for foreigners, are in a completely different category. And they are not cheap either. There is NO WAY I could continue any form of relationship with a man like this.

KleineDracheKokosnuss · 07/08/2023 11:03

I’d get ride I’m fine with people who shoot deer and pheasants to eat them, but there’s no reason to shoot an elephant/giraffe.

JorisBonson · 07/08/2023 11:04

Nobody can possibly be seriously questioning this. Had to be a wind up.

PurpleReindeer2 · 07/08/2023 11:05

helloelsie · 07/08/2023 11:02

Do you know how elephants live in families and mourn and grieve when they experience death of loved ones like we do? They bury their dead and they try to help dying friends, lifting them with tusks and trunks and crying out in distress.
They also carry their babies for two whole years before giving birth, they are such precious and sacred animals and need to be protected - how can you support someone who is happy to tear apart their lives, families and happiness OP? This is utterly brutal.

Big cats too. So beautiful, endangered, we should be respecting life. Not destroying it!

Huge NO from me. Your partner makes me feel physically sick and I couldn't be in a room with someone like that. I feel like crying just knowing what he will be doing and that there are innocent beautiful animals alive right now who have no idea that soon he is going to come along and kill them, take their lives and rip their families apart. God help them.

☝️absolutely this. He's an utter arsehole. Anybody who gets joy from killing innocent animals is utterly pathetic. Small penis syndrome.

TheHappyCarrot · 07/08/2023 11:05

In my experience people who shoot animals as a hobby lack empathy for animals and humans as well. I know a few unfortunately.

lightisnotwhite · 07/08/2023 11:05

Middlelanehogger · 07/08/2023 10:37

If you grew up in the countryside you have a different attitude to this. It's not about laughing as you slaughter a defenceless helpless being. It's closer to a feeling of being part of nature / part of the circle of life somehow. There are painful deaths in nature without humans. It's hard to explain.

I would talk to him a bit more and ask him what it means to him, how he feels when he's shooting, what is meaningful to him about it.

I grew up in a hunting family (although my father doesn't shoot for ethical reasons) so I get the perspective, although I also have met very annoying city types who rock up and want to bag as many species as possible and just seem to fundamentally miss the point, so I'd advise trying to figure out where he's coming from before making a judgment.

Yes this.
I would say the majority of shooting people love animals and the countryside and spend time and money looking after both.
Also when all the food ran out at the beginning of Covid I was really pleased I knew people that had proper live of the land skills.

jumpinjax · 07/08/2023 11:06

Thanks everybody . Message taken on board .
I have a moral compass of course but I genuinely have no knowledge about anything g like this .
My gut told me it was utterly wrong so having read these comments and learned more, cements that.
Thanks again.

OP posts:
RainbowZebraWarrior · 07/08/2023 11:06

readbooksdrinktea · 07/08/2023 10:58

Have to admit I now wonder if this is a wind-up.

After the last couple of posts, I'd say it's a wind up. Way too much faux naivety from the OP.

Allthegoodnamesarechosen · 07/08/2023 11:07

When I lived in France, my insurance broker shot wild boar every autumn. The boar shoot was a big number socially. It culminated in a boar roast ( quite tough tbh) . They also culled the stags and tried hard to keep the coypu who eroded the river banks by destabilising the trees under control. Sure, it was a sport and they enjoyed it, as well. He used to shoot with a crossbow as well as a rifle.

If people hadn’t shot/ culled a number of the males, the forest where the commune grew the timber for firewood and construction, where people walked for exercise and pleasure would have been extremely dangerous.