Really unhappy in relationship.. shall I leave?

[Chocolatelover87]

I am almost 6 months pregnant with 1st baby & I don’t know if it’s my hormones but I am really starting to hate my partner.

He moans and starts arguments with me over the silliest things such as:

Closing all my windows when I go out (in my own house).

Wearing a face mask sometimes more then once.

But what burns me the most is how he constantly disregards my concerns about pregnancy when I have had bleeds or sometimes when I am concerned I can’t feel the baby move as much.

For months he told me “bleeding was normal in pregnancy” and I had to ask him in front of a midwife to shut him down and prove him wrong.

He also believes that having extra discharge is ‘my waters breaking and I should get used too it”.

He listens to my belly and hears noises which he believes is the baby moving but the midwife just confirmed tonight it can be the Amniotic fluid or my bowels.
Wrong again

He really is a thick twat who thinks he knows it all.

The final straw came tonight when I called the hospital and he started shouting at me “why didn’t I call the hospital in front of him”?.
Apparently I have got something to hide and I’m “loose”.

Another thing that scares me is how he speeds with me in the car, he will often do 40 mph in a 30 zone and tonight did 50mph in a 30 zone.
I had to get him to stop the car so I could get an Uber home as I was so scared.

I really want to leave this horrible relationship, he is not supportive at all and will always find something to pick on me for something which I find bullying.

I currently have a UTI and on antibiotics and not feeling the best and still he is moaning and picking rows with me.

Am I just being over sensitive or is it him?
I would rather be alone then to have to endure this man much longer.

He sounds like a real prince amongst men. Throw him back in before he destroys you.

Honestly, if you have concerns now please don't ignore them. They're real to you and the chances are is that they don't go away and often get worse after a baby is born as the focus is on the baby and not the man(child).

Is there anyone you trust who you can talk to and get their perspective? Someone who will give you an honest appraisal of your relationship and help you if needed?

I hope you're ok x

You do not need a man to parent your baby so if you're ok to do this alone you may be a lot happier xxx

Your description here sounds awful, has he always been like this but you haven't noticed until now? Can you think of examples?

More context could be useful, I could reframe all the things you've said to be that he's showing concern or trying to reassure you and himself but that could also be gaslighting so isn't helpful.

Can you talk to him about this? If you can then do. If you can't then you shouldn't be with him.

You don't have to 'split up' necessarily, just get some space and make your own life then see how he fits in.

It's a difficult position to be in. I'm so sorry.

All women should be prioritised in ranking of what they medically need.

I completely agree that minority women should not be as overlooked as they have been historically but as far as pregnancy is concerned, the baby and the medical needs are the priority and what background someone has really should be grounds for prioritisation. It should be a needs-must basis.

Did you actually read her post ?
She’s not visiting the emergency services or hospital every five mins .
Shes had legitimate health concerns with her pregnancy , bleeding is serious and a uti needs treatment .

The issue here is her partner , belittling her , accusing her of being “loose” and driving at speed when his pregnant girlfriend is in the car .

He has always been like this unfortunately and seems to of gotten worse since I have been pregnant.

He wont say things to reassure to me he will say things in a patronising and in a way to belittle me as if to say “I’m right and your wrong”.
He is very argumentative.

When I stand up for myself and tell him I’m not having him talk to me that way in my own house he will say “shhhhh” which I find quite patronising.

Ignore the troll 🙄

Oh OP. I've been there with my ex and it's horrible. I let it carry on for years and I really wish I hadn't. Do what's right for you and make sure you live the best life that you can xx

Sounds awful, I'd leave. I think easier to start on your own now than later.

Can you practically do this? Are you renting together? Can you get out of it? Is your salary enough to live on?

Sorry but that is what I pay my taxes and National Insurance for to use the NHS services.

I have Cervical ectropion, a low lying placenta and have just been diagnosed with a UTI so obviously I will go to the hospital to seek advice/ treatment as necessary as that is what the Triage and midwives are there for.

Sorry where has she said she’s used NHS services when she didn’t need to ?
She’s pregnant , she’ll be having regular midwife appointments and she’s perfectly entitled to seek help for bleeding or a uti .
Also how do you know that the OP is not in a minority group .
She’s asking for relationship advice not advice on how many times she should consult her midwife

@Islamic32 I’m an ex NHS nurse

Please ignore the unhelpful poster.
Low lying placenta needs monitoring so you are not doing anything wrong.
To answer your question, no your partner does not sound supportive at all and I suspect won’t be any different after baby is born .

Quite often abuse from a partner starts when a woman is pregnant or in early parenthood. I'm so sad to say this but this behaviour is a sign of things to come.
Please don't ignore all these red flags. Consider your future with him.
Being a single parent won't be half as bad as being a new mum in an abusive relationship. Talking from experience here unfortunately x

Go stand on your soapbox somewhere else, why don't you? The op needs support in dealing with her abusive relationship, not a debate about the state of the NHS. FFS.

Feck off

You didn't advise a fucking thing. Read the room.

Oh do go away