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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Message from woman

113 replies

Whatapickle07 · 28/07/2023 17:45

Let's be honest here, it's never a good sign when you receive a Facebook message from another woman saying, I have something to tell you. I mean we all know where that's going to lead?

Just now waiting to hear back about what this information is.

OP posts:
GonnaGetGoingReturns · 28/07/2023 20:26

It could be someone who doesn’t like you or is jealous of your relationship and trying to break you up.

tachetastic · 28/07/2023 20:27

I think it's either going to be a piece of juicy gossip, hence the kisses, or she's just a trouble causer trying to pretend she's a friend to get you onside so she doesn't look like the bad one.

Don't let someone you barely know plant seeds of doubt in what sounds like a healthy relationship. She probably hit on him and he told her no, so she's out for revenge.

MeinKraft · 28/07/2023 20:30

My friend has a friend on Facebook with two accounts, one hacked and one her actual account. The hacked one often sends random messages like that or 'are you ok?' Daft things like that and then never replies.

Redglitter · 28/07/2023 20:30

Callyem · 28/07/2023 20:17

When accounts have been hacked, they message people on the friends list - doesn't sound as though the woman and the OP are connected.

Not necessarily. I got a message from a former colleague who's account had been hacked. We weren't FB friends. We had mutual friends but weren't directly connected.

blueshoes · 28/07/2023 20:34

GonnaGetGoingReturns · 28/07/2023 20:26

It could be someone who doesn’t like you or is jealous of your relationship and trying to break you up.

I agree.

Assuming this is genuine, I would sooner attribute malice to her, particularly in the way she framed it so as to sow seeds of doubt, rather than concern or a desire to help.

In the worst case scenario, your partner had an affair with her. The reason she is calling you is probably because he dumped her or told her he would never leave you and this is her way to force your hand so that you would leave him. It would not be a situation where she was duped by him into thinking he is single and she now wants to warn you he is playing away because she knows you and presumably also knows that you are an item with your partner.

Personally, I would just block her. She does not deserve your headspace.

tensmum1964 · 28/07/2023 20:52

I once got one from someone I was friends on fb with. The message then went on to tell me that she had made lots of money on some sort of venture and wanted to let me in on it. It was a scam/hacker but initially looked legit.

tachetastic · 28/07/2023 20:59

blueshoes · 28/07/2023 20:34

I agree.

Assuming this is genuine, I would sooner attribute malice to her, particularly in the way she framed it so as to sow seeds of doubt, rather than concern or a desire to help.

In the worst case scenario, your partner had an affair with her. The reason she is calling you is probably because he dumped her or told her he would never leave you and this is her way to force your hand so that you would leave him. It would not be a situation where she was duped by him into thinking he is single and she now wants to warn you he is playing away because she knows you and presumably also knows that you are an item with your partner.

Personally, I would just block her. She does not deserve your headspace.

Show quote history

Agree with this.

WiddlinDiddlin · 28/07/2023 20:59

It is a classic clickbaity line designed to make you reply, and the xxx is meant to make it sound like a real person, familiar and friendly..

People sign up to apps all the time that require permission to post as the person and some will ask for access to messages too, and people give it, just so they can find out what sort of potato they are or which harry potter character they'll marry...

Or, its a way MLM sellers are taught to get people on their contact lists to respond.. then they'll tell you about their new lippy/eyeliner/scent/juice and how you can join their team as you're one of the lucky chosen ones.

Mummy08m · 28/07/2023 21:02

Another vote for MLM. She's going to tell you she made so much money selling wax melts that she bought a new car and you could too and it's an opportunity you don't want to miss.

I agree with everyone saying that if it was telling you about your dp cheating she'd explain it all in one long message. If it was me I'd spend ages drafting the whole story in a msg and then just send it, I wouldn't open with something vague like that and wait for you to reply before telling you.

Mummy08m · 28/07/2023 21:04

Can you look at her profile, does it say something like "proud owner of my own business" etc? Or lots of photos of manicures? Or trite slogans like "your life is what you make it" - possible MLM clues

porridgeisbae · 28/07/2023 21:17

You can't know what it is at this point so need to get a couple more responses from them.

Unless you're happy with not knowing for life and the potentially not knowing something important, you shouldn't block yet.

Not having them blocked yet is harmless.

Bromptotoo · 28/07/2023 21:19

You were at school together?

My guess is some story about a mutual friend and/or a member of the school's staff.

Might be new or just a confirmation of stuff that was hot gossip years ago.

We had similar at work. Two colleagues who we were all 90%+ certain were had a thing for each other AND were playing away fixtures for 20 years.

Finally got shacked up together and went public.

Lifeafternarcabuse · 28/07/2023 21:19

Hope this is a hacker and it's nothing that will hurt your heart

Twillow · 28/07/2023 21:20

Sounds like they've been hacked.

oakleaffy · 28/07/2023 21:21

@Whatapickle07 Who the heck would put kisses on the end to a stranger?

Especially if she was going to tell you something personal and hurtful .

It could be a wind up if someone hacked her profile?

GotMooMilk · 28/07/2023 21:22

Let us know how it pans out @Whatapickle07 id message back too I couldn’t leave it!

tachetastic · 28/07/2023 21:31

On the kisses issue, in fairness I think this is a habit a lot of people fall into. I constantly get messages on social media from people I am vaguely connected to (via friends or school) who I have never actually met that finish their messages with kisses. I always find it a little odd and instead opt for a hearty thumbs up or sideways leaning laughter, but I wouldn't read too much into that.

ThomasinaLivesHere · 28/07/2023 21:39

My guess would be hacked account. If you were going to message someone about an affair or the like you’d just say what you had to say surely. These messages are to intrigue people and get responses. I’ve had messages like this before.

HopityHope · 28/07/2023 21:40

I wouldn’t be able to block without seeing if they were going to reply first.

TwinsPlusAnotherOne · 28/07/2023 21:44

@Whatapickle07 what's happened?

We had 14 updates in an hour, then nothing!

Have you even replied? Just a "Hi, what is it?"

Hibiscrubbed · 28/07/2023 21:47

I suspect you’re all being strung along on a wind up thread.

BadNomad · 28/07/2023 21:51

Yeah, this thread is the online forum equivalent of FB's "Hi...I have something to tell you xx" 😂

MrsPerfect12 · 28/07/2023 21:53

I hope everything is okay OP.

Oceanus · 28/07/2023 22:36

"I have something to tell you!"

  • Guess what I'm moving to your neck of the woods! So and so told me about you and we should for a coffee so you can tell me about the best shops in the village!
  • Guess what X and Y told me we're going to be working at the same company so I thought it would be nice to meet up for coffee or lunch
  • I was talking to Z and they said you have the same hobby so I thought it would be nice to meet for a chat.
  • Guess what my mother just moved next to your mother, how's that not a massive coincidence!
What I'm trying to say is stop worrying. What will be, will be. If it's good news, great! If it's bad news, well you'll cross that bridge when you see it and if you need somebody to hold your hand and curse at your partner, you'd be surprised at the potty mouths some people have on here...
Echobelly · 28/07/2023 22:40

I think if she was genuine and had something to tell you she would, she wouldn't just vanish and leave you on tenterhooks. It's probably a hacked account and hasn't replied because the person doing them is firing off dozens at a time and is hoping for a reply; as people have said, it'll be MLM or some other scam.

If you want to put your mind at rest and not reply to it, could you go to her FB page and write a message on her wall about you think she's been hacked because you got a random message in her name that doesn't seem like it's from her?