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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

i've really really messed up

61 replies

unfaithfull · 25/02/2008 23:13

anyone free to talk

OP posts:
redredrose · 25/02/2008 23:15

I'm free to talk anytime

PenelopePitstops · 25/02/2008 23:15

unfaithfull you ok?

Original poster
unfaithfull · 25/02/2008 23:16

last week i had a smear-test and at the same time had a general sexual health check-up

the clinic called today to say that my test for chlmydia is inconclusive

OP posts:
kama · 25/02/2008 23:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Original poster
unfaithfull · 25/02/2008 23:17

i have to go back to the GU clinic - they said that they'd normally treat this with anti-bio's

OP posts:
Original poster
unfaithfull · 25/02/2008 23:19

BUT this means that i will have to tell my partner that i was unfaithful

OP posts:
bluejelly · 25/02/2008 23:19

Any reason why you can't take anti-bios?
I think everyone gets stds at some point in their lives, nothing to be ashamed of

PenelopePitstops · 25/02/2008 23:19

when dud you cheat?

is your relationship ok otherwise?

Carmenere · 25/02/2008 23:20

So you have been unfaithful and caught chladymia and now you have to tell your dh?

kama · 25/02/2008 23:20

This reply has been deleted

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RedJools · 25/02/2008 23:20

A friend of mine had this (honest!) and it cleared up with a couple of weeks of anti-b's. Think they checked again at the end of the course (swab). The biggest problem, I think, is if it is left undiagnosed. HTH Jx

bluejelly · 25/02/2008 23:20

You could say that it was from a long time ago ( not that I am encouraging you to lie)
I think chlamidya can sit around undiagnosed for a while

Original poster
unfaithfull · 25/02/2008 23:21

i feel like my guts have been ripped out

i can see my whole world crumbling

and i'm feeling even more massive guilt than i was already feeling

OP posts:
RedJools · 25/02/2008 23:21

Ah, didn't realise the cheating implication! Can you not just say you have a "woman's infection" or is he quite clued up? (Or do you want an excuse to fess up?)

kama · 25/02/2008 23:23

This reply has been deleted

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bluejelly · 25/02/2008 23:24

Try and turn the guilt into something positive, use it to spur action in other parts of your life that obviously need fixing! Nothing can be worse than the guilt you are feeling now.

Can you end your affair and start again with your husband/partner? Or vice versa?

Really no point living a lie (IMHO)

Carmenere · 25/02/2008 23:25

You could tell him that you have thrush or some other non-specific genito-urinary infection and that the doctor said your dh would have to be treated too to prevent re-infection.

redredrose · 25/02/2008 23:25

I agree with kama, also I know it may be hard but you dp does need to know at some point. Have you cheated on him before? If so how did he react then? ( you don't need to answer that if you don't want to though

Original poster
unfaithfull · 25/02/2008 23:28

thanks for replies everyone

my problem is this - i've had it before and was treated and re-checked for everything and given the all clear - my dp was treated too.
i remained totally faithful , up intil a few months ago when i was very silly i regreted it before the deed was even finished and stopped it there and then - the other person say's he's sure he's clear as was tested not too long ago and been with the same dp since.

could the result - inconclusive - be some echo of my previous infection?

OP posts:
bluejelly · 25/02/2008 23:29

Maybe? I don't know I am not a GU dr. Have you asked the clinic? They are quite good with advising people in these circumstances

PenelopePitstops · 25/02/2008 23:30

surely inconclusive could come from before if the other person is sure hes clear, but im no doctor!

Carmenere · 25/02/2008 23:30

Do you think your dh has been unfaithful?

Original poster
unfaithfull · 25/02/2008 23:32

i will definately tell dp if he needs treating - i know people won't believe it but we do have a fantastic relationship - i love him - i'm in love with him - i'm totally ashamed of my behaviour and i'm dreading telling him as it will totally f*@k up everything

OP posts:
RedJools · 25/02/2008 23:32

yeah, i think it could be a result of your previous infection- maybe it didn't clear entirely, or maybe this result will turn out to be negative. I think your guilt is making you more worried about this than you need to be. Only you can decide if you can handle this or if you need to confess all- so many ifs and buts in that decision, but good luck whatever you decide to do.

Original poster
unfaithfull · 25/02/2008 23:33

carmenere - i'm sure dp hasn't been unfaithful but he would say that about me too

OP posts: