i've really really messed up

[unfaithfull]

anyone free to talk

I hope this doesn't eat you up and that you and your dp can continue your relationship in a happy vein. As you had penetrative sex I do think you should get tested for other STDs, but obviously that is your decision entirely. My dh used condoms when he cheated and got all clear but I still insisted (well luckily I didn't have to insist cos he offered)that he get tested again in 3 months. I am a bit neurotic about STDs though. I wish you all the best and I don't think you need anyone to vilify you as you are doing that all by yourself.

yep you love him so much you shagged someone else and now think you are taking the moral high ground by lying about it.

I agree with the others, say the previous infection has come back.

Other option: sneak the antibiotiocs into his cuppa. Quite a few, you know, just to make sure.

If he's previously been treated with them, he won't get an allergy or something.

A word on the side though, can't help saying it though I've done many a wrong things in prev relationships, too: don't sleep around without a condom. Imagine what you could have caught!!! It's unfair on your partner -if you don't care about your own life.

I feel sorry for millions of partners out there who get infected by chlam, HIV, HepC, etc. because their partners didn't care.

i feel you owe it to him to admit whats going on he will either leave or you can work it out together

you do need to tell him about your infection as he has more than likely been infected you shouldnt hide antibiotics as he will need to be tested as even after course of antibiotics he could still be infected then you will be reinfected and as we know for woen can cause you to be infertile

also if you cared about him that much imo you wouldnt have slept with anyone else maybe his your safe fall back guy

i think you need time apart to make your mind up as not first time

if you do want him you need to go out your way to win him back but imo he desereves the truth no relationship will last based on lies

lol at 'dont let anyone you are unsure of c*m in your face'...very sound advice

hang in there x

UPDATE - just to get things off my chest.

i was re-tested for chlamydia

the result was negative

i was so fecking relieved

unfortunately i couldn't take the stress any longer and told my partner that while having my smear test as i suspected i had thrush i was also tested for any other infections and had a phonecall to say that the results were equivical for chlamydia - therefore i needed to go to the clinic for a chat and possibly some anti-bio's.DP had some questions - understandably - but was really not phased by the situation at all. So i went for the re-test and was given some anti-bio's for us both if we wanted to take them before the results.
i have today had the total all clear for all STD'S and my smear came back normal too
when i came back from the clinic last week and had a chat to DP about what had been explained at clinic - he said well it's not like either of us have had other partner's is it? and i just felt so bad and guilty
the OM has also been given the all clear and now thinks this gives us free-range to continue in confidence - i'm actually horrified at the way he's behaved and it has through this whole STD issue come out that he is still in a relationship - he told me numerous times that it was over i feel doubley guilty now as they have a child - i asked him time and again the exact nature of their relationship and he insisted it was all over and had been for months and months

i'm trying to stay away from him now - he contacts me several times a day - so it is hard to put the whole experience in the past.

things are good between me and DP [as always] and i'm trying to put more effort into our relationship now.

thanks to all you lovely posters - you've really helped me when i've needed a shoulder to cry on and good advice when it's been most needed

ladylush i hope everything works out for you and your DH - your posts really touched me and i just hope your DP realises what a gem of a wife he has

Hi unfaithful, glad the STD results came back clear. You must be so relieved. I hope in time the guilt will fade. Thanks for your kind words. I think he does know

Why won't the OM f*ck off? Quite aside from any crotch-rot issues, a fling who won't leave you alone when told to could well mean trouble in the future - does he think he's in love with you? is he expecting you to run away with him? Or is he just hoping for another shag?

unfaithful- just wanted to say well done for being strong.
I know from my dh's affair that good people sometimes get lost and nearly throw away all that's good in their lives for the quick fix/ego boost of an affair. i know too just how powerful that can be and how hard it is to walk away- yet in time you can appreciate you family more for it and you can get closer to your dh and move on stronger.

Many people think that an affair means porblems i your marriage but I've learned the escapism of an affair can be for many reasons not always related to your existing relationship-often it's an escapism from something inside yourself but it can'r bring you true peace of mind.

IT's clear from your words you know how close you've come to messing it all up.Move on, learn from it, make your marriage stronger and closer from your experience. Please tell this OM to get lost completely from your life he's neither doing you or himself any favours tyring to stay in your life. I Know NO CONTACT is the only way you can heal inside, forgive yourself and move on to better things.

Take care and enjoy your family!

How are you Unfaithful? Hope everything is settling down and that the other man is leaving you alone. He sounds quite parasitic.