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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

He keeps running out of his anti depressant

76 replies

Overitx · 19/07/2023 21:32

And it’s having a serious impact on his mental health and also mine. He is downright miserable without them. He ran out last Wednesday (the chemist gave him an emergency prescription as he had previously ran out).

he won’t phone the doctors to review and so he keeps putting it off and putting it off. Then runs out. Right now he’s awful to be around.

im so sad as we go on holiday in 1 week. It’s once in a lifetime has been saved for years. And I worry he’s just going to ruin it.

he is genuinely horrible without these tablets. When he’s on them we are good. He isn’t unreasonable. He’s calm. He’s happy.

im so sad as even if he does get a new prescription, he will be restarting them just as we leave for holiday and then he will have all the nasty side effects.

he’s been on the for 1.5 years but this starting and stopping is constant.

OP posts:
DustyLee123 · 19/07/2023 21:33

Can’t you request them if it’s causing this much trouble ?

Original poster
Overitx · 19/07/2023 21:34

Well I could but I’m sick of ensuring everything runs smoothly. If I don’t do it it won’t get done. I already have my own tablets to organise and I would just love for once if he could look after himself.

OP posts:
Original poster
Overitx · 19/07/2023 21:36

The issue is the doctor has him to review them before a new script is issued so this time he needs to call. And he won’t.

OP posts:
DustyLee123 · 19/07/2023 21:36

It’s not good enough from him, he should be doing everything to be the best he can in the family. But if it makes your life easier, I’d do it.

TeaKitten · 19/07/2023 21:36

Does he order them through the NHS app so it’s quick and easy and doesn’t require any phoning? If it has such an impact on your life I’d just order them myself when you order yours though. I appreciate you want him to do it himself etc but is it really worth the hassle?

DustyLee123 · 19/07/2023 21:37

So if he can’t be bothered , it’s best he moves out. Not fair for it to affect everyone else.

TeaKitten · 19/07/2023 21:37

Overitx · 19/07/2023 21:36

The issue is the doctor has him to review them before a new script is issued so this time he needs to call. And he won’t.

Why won’t he phone?

Original poster
Overitx · 19/07/2023 21:38

No we don’t have the app at our surgery. It’s not in England. You need to physically call. The doctor wrote on his last script that a review was required before any more was issued. I call for mine. Mine renew 1-2 weeks after his so I don’t keep track of when he’s due.

OP posts:
TenderChicken · 19/07/2023 21:40

I order my anti depressants through the NHS app, he might find this more appealing.

If he isn't willing to take them regularly, that's pretty disrespectful to the rest of you. Might be time for a serious conversation.

I also find it baffling he'd want to keep stopping and starting. It must make him feel awful.

Original poster
Overitx · 19/07/2023 21:41

He won’t call as he continually makes excuses. He’s too busy. The doctor don’t answer. The list goes on. It’s so infuriating as he’s scaring me without them. And I’ve explained every single month why he cannot run out. But yet again he does.

OP posts:
Badger1970 · 19/07/2023 21:42

I can't believe people are suggesting you order it. FFS, he's a grown man.

I wouldn't go on holiday with him. He knew full well you've got it booked, but is happy to inflict misery on you all.

HundredMilesAnHour · 19/07/2023 21:44

Then he stays behind while you go on holiday without him. His behaviour will never change unless there are consequences.

CommaChameleon7 · 19/07/2023 21:47

I'm in Scotland and get mine On a managed repeat prescription. The pharmacy place an order once every couple of months to ensure there's a steady supply. Going without them for a few days can make me feel awful but I know it's my responsibility to manage my medication. Can your OH look into something like that?

TeaKitten · 19/07/2023 21:49

Overitx · 19/07/2023 21:41

He won’t call as he continually makes excuses. He’s too busy. The doctor don’t answer. The list goes on. It’s so infuriating as he’s scaring me without them. And I’ve explained every single month why he cannot run out. But yet again he does.

He isn’t going to change, it’s time to leave.

BillieShears · 19/07/2023 21:52

Can he not order them online? I can do it through the surgery website. When my mental health was at its worst I used to run out (or lose some) of my meds regularly. Once you're in withdrawal is can be difficult to think clearly enough to deal with the issue.

Original poster
Overitx · 19/07/2023 21:55

I couldn’t go without him. It’s just not feasible. We are literally 1 week away and have been planning this for so long. I’m just so sad he’s not in a good place just as we’re supposed to be going.

I work full time, I’m ill, I’m packing, doing all the washings, cooking etc yet he still walks around like a bear with a sore head. Either working or huffing and puffing.

He works from home and so sits in his office from morning til evening without uttering a nice word. It’s all just moaning and groaning. Complaining about the mess of the house; the behaviour of the kids, his work.

Last week I gave him a back massage to try and cheer him up. The next day he asked for another one then went in a huff when I said no. I’m genuinely really sick this week and he couldn’t care less. I asked him to plug my charger in next to my bed as he was coming in the room and he acted like I had asked him to run a mile. I said wow, it’s really that hard for you to do anything for me.

I feel so unloved. At the weekend I told him about a person I know who commited sucide leaving a wife and kids. He told me to stop talking about such depressing stuff. I was a bit caught of guard as I was just sharing a story that I had spoken to someone else about they told me. I said I was just making general chat and sympathising. He said I ruined his Saturday night by talking about such depressing shit. He then kicked off as I was tired and wanted to go to bed at 11pm. He said due to this I had caused him to have zero sleep as I had reminded him of his uncle and friend who committed suicide and thanks to me he couldn’t sleep. I’m drained.

OP posts:
BanditsOnTheHorizon · 19/07/2023 21:58

I use Pharmacy2u app on my phone to order repeated prescriptions, they send me a reminder via text when I'm due for a refill and all I have to do is type 'yes' and they order it. They put a request into the gp, the gp authorised it, my card details are stored on the app, the money is taken (no delivery charge) and my pills come through the post in time so I don't run out. Honestly it's been a revelation for me

NotBotheredAnymore · 19/07/2023 22:02

Hes never going to change, he doesn't want to.

Go on the holiday, concentrate on the children and ignore him as much as possible. When you get home give him an ultimation. Either he takes/orders his meds properly or he leaves.

His attitude is not only impacting you but it will certainly be impacting the children.

Original poster
Overitx · 19/07/2023 22:03

We are in Scotland so don’t pay and as far as I’m aware there is no option. Our surgery is a little village doctors they are not online. They do however have a repeat prescription hotline. You call leave your name details and medicine and it gets delivered to your pharmacy. Job done.

the reason he has totally ran out however is because he needs a review and he will not get one. He said the thought of having to call the doctor and speak about it is too bad so he won’t.

he is a senior director for a global company however and has many difficult conversations and presentations all the time. He says I don’t get it. And I don’t. I rely heavily on my medication and will never let myself run out.

to get the medicine in the first place he had to call up and have that initial appointment and then review. He then stopped cold Turkey and got real bad so finally called again for a new medicine. This is now his next review. The doctor just wants to see how he’s getting on with the medicine and will prescribe a new order.

OP posts:
NotBotheredAnymore · 19/07/2023 22:05

I think people are not understanding the word review. It's not about getting a repeat prescription - after so many repeats a GP has to speak with you before allowing any more medication to be prescribed. You are effectively blocked.

SavedbytheBe11 · 19/07/2023 22:05

I do this. Possibly ADHD tendency..Been doing ot for years.

ValerieDoonican · 19/07/2023 22:06

Ugh he really doesn't care about any of you, does he? Like lots of people on here, I've had mental health issues and made treble effort to make sure my symptoms did not affect the rest of my family, including by seeking then acting on medical advice hard though it was at times. Because, you know, I didn't want to be a dick.

ValerieDoonican · 19/07/2023 22:07

And so obviously I went to my prescription reviews when needed.

HundredMilesAnHour · 19/07/2023 22:09

SavedbytheBe11 · 19/07/2023 22:05

I do this. Possibly ADHD tendency..Been doing ot for years.

Seriously?? Let's not roll out ADHD as an excuse. And 'possibly ADHD tendency'?! That's insulting to people who do actually have ADHD. And I write this as someone who has a formal ADHD diagnosis.

Wolfiefan · 19/07/2023 22:10

If he’s not well enough to go on holiday then I would try and plan to go yourself. Longer term he needs to step up and look after his own MH. Or you need to look after your own. Even if that means separating.