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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

He keeps running out of his anti depressant

76 replies

Overitx · 19/07/2023 21:32

And it’s having a serious impact on his mental health and also mine. He is downright miserable without them. He ran out last Wednesday (the chemist gave him an emergency prescription as he had previously ran out).

he won’t phone the doctors to review and so he keeps putting it off and putting it off. Then runs out. Right now he’s awful to be around.

im so sad as we go on holiday in 1 week. It’s once in a lifetime has been saved for years. And I worry he’s just going to ruin it.

he is genuinely horrible without these tablets. When he’s on them we are good. He isn’t unreasonable. He’s calm. He’s happy.

im so sad as even if he does get a new prescription, he will be restarting them just as we leave for holiday and then he will have all the nasty side effects.

he’s been on the for 1.5 years but this starting and stopping is constant.

OP posts:

Badger1970 · 19/07/2023 22:17

He sounds like he's sucking the very life out of you, OP.

Surely there has to be better?

kerrycgeorgie · 19/07/2023 22:17

It could be that his inability to do what seems like a simple task is a symptom of the mental health issues he is taking them for in the first place. I understand it is really unfair on you experiencing the fallout. Sounds like he really needs that review as his current prescription doesn't sound like it's working well for him.

Original poster

Overitx · 19/07/2023 22:19

Since he started the new tablets he said he needs them increased. We are now 6 months later. Still no increase. No review and cold Turkey.

OP posts:

MeMeMeMeAndMoreMe · 19/07/2023 22:24

I also have ADHD, and do this. Well, I did this. I don't anymore, as I am on ADHD meds. And since then I have been much more on top of ordering/collecting/taking the antidepressants and ADHD meds.

kerrycgeorgie · 19/07/2023 22:33

I really hope this gets resolved for all of your sake. Even more frustrating when you know the right medication at the right dosage will resolve this. Is he someone that might respond well to understanding the problems with going cold turkey, stop starting. If so maybe share some articles or research papers.

piedbeauty · 19/07/2023 22:35

Badger1970 · 19/07/2023 22:17

He sounds like he's sucking the very life out of you, OP.

Surely there has to be better?

This!!

Yes. You deserve more.

Lamelie · 19/07/2023 22:40

Tomorrow call the surgery and book the appointment. It’ll likely be a phone call and then you go into his room with a post it saying GP phone appointment at 11.30

Once back from holiday get out of the relationship.

Copperoliverbear · 19/07/2023 22:45

Ring the dr and ask her for a telephone consultation so you can discuss it.

Hibiscrubbed · 19/07/2023 23:49

He is pathetic.

Whataretalkingabout · 20/07/2023 02:45

He doesn't sound depressed. He sounds like a real pain in the ass and a very immature irresponsible one at that. If he can go to work and have difficult conversations there it is obvious that he is putting on a show for you at home.
You should really go on holiday without him.

Pawpatrolsucks · 20/07/2023 03:03

Lamelie · 19/07/2023 22:40

Tomorrow call the surgery and book the appointment. It’ll likely be a phone call and then you go into his room with a post it saying GP phone appointment at 11.30

Once back from holiday get out of the relationship.

This. Don’t let it ruin your holiday. I would just let him deal with it if it wasn’t for the holiday.

junebirthdaygirl · 20/07/2023 03:22

I may be wrong on this. But when someone takes an antidepressant it stays in their system for a while after they stop so the effects are not immediately noticeable. Sounds like he is being obnoxious even with some still in his system. So everything can't be blamed on his lack of them.

ZeldaWillTellYourFortune · 20/07/2023 03:27

Overitx · 19/07/2023 21:55

I couldn’t go without him. It’s just not feasible. We are literally 1 week away and have been planning this for so long. I’m just so sad he’s not in a good place just as we’re supposed to be going.

I work full time, I’m ill, I’m packing, doing all the washings, cooking etc yet he still walks around like a bear with a sore head. Either working or huffing and puffing.

He works from home and so sits in his office from morning til evening without uttering a nice word. It’s all just moaning and groaning. Complaining about the mess of the house; the behaviour of the kids, his work.

Last week I gave him a back massage to try and cheer him up. The next day he asked for another one then went in a huff when I said no. I’m genuinely really sick this week and he couldn’t care less. I asked him to plug my charger in next to my bed as he was coming in the room and he acted like I had asked him to run a mile. I said wow, it’s really that hard for you to do anything for me.

I feel so unloved. At the weekend I told him about a person I know who commited sucide leaving a wife and kids. He told me to stop talking about such depressing stuff. I was a bit caught of guard as I was just sharing a story that I had spoken to someone else about they told me. I said I was just making general chat and sympathising. He said I ruined his Saturday night by talking about such depressing shit. He then kicked off as I was tired and wanted to go to bed at 11pm. He said due to this I had caused him to have zero sleep as I had reminded him of his uncle and friend who committed suicide and thanks to me he couldn’t sleep. I’m drained.

Why are you with this person?

Doesn't sound as though there's any love or respect in either direction.

TheOrigRights · 20/07/2023 07:45

TenderChicken · 19/07/2023 21:40

I order my anti depressants through the NHS app, he might find this more appealing.

If he isn't willing to take them regularly, that's pretty disrespectful to the rest of you. Might be time for a serious conversation.

I also find it baffling he'd want to keep stopping and starting. It must make him feel awful.

This is not relevant as he needs his annual medication review - normal for long term prescriptions.

TheOrigRights · 20/07/2023 07:46

BanditsOnTheHorizon · 19/07/2023 21:58

I use Pharmacy2u app on my phone to order repeated prescriptions, they send me a reminder via text when I'm due for a refill and all I have to do is type 'yes' and they order it. They put a request into the gp, the gp authorised it, my card details are stored on the app, the money is taken (no delivery charge) and my pills come through the post in time so I don't run out. Honestly it's been a revelation for me

He cannot get the repeat w/o a medication review.

TheOrigRights · 20/07/2023 07:48

They wont be working well if he keeps stopping and starting, and as PP said, skipping a day or two would likely only make him feel crap (abrupt withdrawal) rather than impact his mood.

Needmorelego · 20/07/2023 07:51

Yes to booking the appointment for him. Make it a phone one if your GP does that. Do the phone call together on speaker phone (basically the same as if you actually went to the GP you would go in the room together).
I get 3 month’s worth of my meds when I get them so I only have to worry about re-ordering them 4 times a year.

YukoandHiro · 20/07/2023 07:53

He doesn't care about you and he doesn't care about himself.

I'm afraid the only way to preserve your own mental health is the end the relationship.

How many years has he been like this? Is there any sense that he values your marriage at all? Is this a sudden change or has he always dismissed your views?

Absolutely take the kids on holiday without him. You deserve a break.

Original poster

Overitx · 20/07/2023 09:10

So I called the doctors. 40 minutes waiting on hold. They are calling him today. I had to juggle my commute to work, calling doctors whilst he’s sleeping in bed.

OP posts:

AttilaTheMeerkat · 20/07/2023 09:21

You further made a rod for your own back in doing that for him. Ask yourself why you did that at all and be honest with yourself.

He is more than happy for you to do all the work here whilst he is in bed asleep. Enabling him helps no one and only gives you a false sense of control.

AttilaTheMeerkat · 20/07/2023 09:23

And why is it not feasible to go on this long awaited holiday without him?

NotBotheredAnymore · 20/07/2023 09:31

Let's hope he actually answers his phone and doesn't ignore it. I can see why you made the appointment this time but please don't take over like this again. He knows what to do but he doesn't want to do it. Not can't, won't.

After the holiday please make an appointment at the solicitors regarding your rights in a divorce. You might be pleasantly surprised, and you really don't want to be living this life for the next thirty years...

Gateappreciation · 20/07/2023 09:31

Ring up and make the appointment for him.

Gateappreciation · 20/07/2023 09:31

Sorry, just saw the ipdate

Gateappreciation · 20/07/2023 09:32

Update

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