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Original poster

Is this just most men?

75 replies

Whyme82 · 15/07/2023 12:33

So I’ve just gone back of mat leave. I’m always considerate of everyone’s needs around me before my partner even says he needs something I tend to know or buy it or if he mentions he needs something when I go to the shops I’ll always remember to buy it. I’ve been back at work now 3 weeks. I been saying I need a notepad and everytime his gone to the shops or whatever his not got me one. His been saying it for a while. I don’t get time to go out or anything and ordering one is just expensive and I just sat here and thought shit I never ask for ANYTHING EVER! I pay for my own stuff the one time I need something not even want it hasn’t even crossed his mind to pick up for me. It may be something minor but it just bothered me because when I say I literally will always remember his needs or wants when I go but me who never asks for anything but needs something didnt get a second thought

OP posts:
rumnraisinrocks · 15/07/2023 12:34

Have you asked him to get you one?

Whattodowithit88 · 15/07/2023 12:35

Ask him to get you one next time he is going shopping. No one is a mind reader but women tend to think of others more than men do.

IfItAintBrokeBreakIt · 15/07/2023 12:38

Ask him to get you one. Saying that you need one isn’t the same as asking him to get one for you. He may think you want to choose your own.

NewtonsCradle · 15/07/2023 12:38

Text him when he goes to the shop or send him to the shop with a list.

Original poster
Whyme82 · 15/07/2023 12:39

His been saying for the last 3 weeks or a little over that he will get me one

OP posts:
AlligatorPsychopath · 15/07/2023 12:39

Can't you just... buy your own freaking notepad, or ask him directly to get you one, instead of hinting and stewing? It's the kind of thing I'd want to choose for myself anyway.

justlass · 15/07/2023 12:40

I'd just order one on Amazon 🤷‍♀️

wakeuporswim · 15/07/2023 12:43

I'd have bought it myself, if I needed it, long before now. Three weeks!

P1ckledonionz · 15/07/2023 12:43

Is it possible you're doing too much for him overall?

Whyme82 · 15/07/2023 12:43

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Original poster
Whyme82 · 15/07/2023 12:44

Possibly..

OP posts:
Aquamarine1029 · 15/07/2023 12:46

This reply has been deleted

This post has been deleted as it quotes a deleted post.

Ilikejamtarts · 15/07/2023 12:47

I think I kind of understand. I'm the same with tending to know what people need. Like partner comments his deodorant is running low, I'll be sure to grab one at the shop next time. He uses a specific shower gel and i can see wheh that's low, ill grab one. I notice hes not got any work lunch in the fridge, I'll pick some up for him. I do it to save him the hassle of having to grab these things after a long day at work and I'm going the shop anyway so why should I not be helpful. There's one shop near us that sells the jamtarts I like, he knows I've ran out and may go this shop on his way home but doesn't pick me any up.. yes it does sound petty 😂 if I asked I know for sure he'd grab some but it would be nice sometimes if it just crossed his mind like it does with me. I've just accepted he doesn't think the same as me and I'm probably over sensitive/over think.
Would your partner at least grab you a notepad if you asked?
If that's a no then yes I'd be funing

wakeuporswim · 15/07/2023 12:52

What sort of notebook is it that it might be expensive to have delivered? Do you just want a cheap, standard type from a supermarket?

MumOfOneAwesomeHuman · 15/07/2023 12:59

Definitely not most men. If I said I needed something 9/10 my husband would go straight away and get it. Three weeks and when you can't go yourself is ridiculous. I'd definitely ask him why he hasn't bothered.

GreyCarpet · 15/07/2023 13:02

You choose to prostrate yourself at the feet of others.

Don't expect them to do the same.

Besides, I like a notepad. If I were going to get one, I'd want to choose my own. Why haven't you just got yourself one?

RachelTopliss · 15/07/2023 13:05

Whyme82 · 15/07/2023 12:39

His been saying for the last 3 weeks or a little over that he will get me one

It's he's, as in a short form of he is, not his; 'his' refers to something belonging to him, like his shirt. We don't say shis or shiz for she's / she is.

He's been saying for the last three weeks ...

Sorry for being picky and the English lesson but your op drove me crazy trying to understand it.

He's just being difficult for the sake of it. I'd just order one or two or three notebooks on Amazon or something.

Chowtime · 15/07/2023 13:07

I don't think healthy adults should be asking other adults to get notebooks for them i think they should get their own.

What you choose to do for him is your choice.

RachelTopliss · 15/07/2023 13:07

Also don't you pass anywhere on the way to work or in your lunch time that you can pick one up?

WandaWonder · 15/07/2023 13:07

You don't have to put everyone else first that is on you, buy your own things

WalkingThroughTreacle · 15/07/2023 13:12

RachelTopliss · 15/07/2023 13:05

It's he's, as in a short form of he is, not his; 'his' refers to something belonging to him, like his shirt. We don't say shis or shiz for she's / she is.

He's been saying for the last three weeks ...

Sorry for being picky and the English lesson but your op drove me crazy trying to understand it.

He's just being difficult for the sake of it. I'd just order one or two or three notebooks on Amazon or something.

Show quote history

The grammar and spelling may not have been great but the post was easily understandable. If you struggled so much then you might want to work on your own reading and comprehension skills instead of obnoxiously lecturing others on their written English.

It's also worth bearing in mind there are many reasons why some people have less than perfect English. It may be their second language, they may not have benefited from a good education, they may be dyslexic or have special educational needs. Think about that before you are so quick to indulge in putting people down in future.

RachelTopliss · 15/07/2023 13:17

WalkingThroughTreacle · 15/07/2023 13:12

The grammar and spelling may not have been great but the post was easily understandable. If you struggled so much then you might want to work on your own reading and comprehension skills instead of obnoxiously lecturing others on their written English.

It's also worth bearing in mind there are many reasons why some people have less than perfect English. It may be their second language, they may not have benefited from a good education, they may be dyslexic or have special educational needs. Think about that before you are so quick to indulge in putting people down in future.

Show quote history

I think in many cases it's because people write as they speak. Happy to help 🙂

What's your advice for the op, whilst you're here?

Moredramathanrazzamatazz · 15/07/2023 13:40

My partner would be prone to forgetting once or twice but this wouldn't go on for 3 weeks. Having been single for a long while before he moved in with me, plus having a genuinely poor memory, that's okay for him. He's very good when given lists and maybe 1-2 reminders and very apologetic when he forgets. There's something off with your fella.

RachelTopliss · 15/07/2023 13:46

Moredramathanrazzamatazz · 15/07/2023 13:40

My partner would be prone to forgetting once or twice but this wouldn't go on for 3 weeks. Having been single for a long while before he moved in with me, plus having a genuinely poor memory, that's okay for him. He's very good when given lists and maybe 1-2 reminders and very apologetic when he forgets. There's something off with your fella.

Yes he's being a pain on purpose. Is he being difficult op because you're back at work and not waiting for him to come back home?

RachelNoire · 15/07/2023 13:50

I think you need to stop doing so much for him. He sounds selfish.