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Original poster

DH made a strange comment. Can I have some opinions on this please?

56 replies

Northasiasky · 10/07/2023 18:00

First time posting as I have no one to talk to about this.

DH and I have been together 12 years, married, 2DCs.

We were having a lovely lunch and a few drinks a few weeks ago. My DHs birthday is coming soon and I was asking if he could do anything for his birthday what he would do? He has been very busy at work recently and jokingly said "I would retire. No more Barcleys (company's name changed), no more blondie..."

I questioned it but he suddenly changed the conversation. Our children were around so I left it.

We discussed it later that day and he said that it's just a random comment and that he was drunk. I asked if there is OW at work but he said there is no one blonde at work.

I know I shouldn't have done it but checked his messages. I found some friendly (mostly work related) messages with one of his colleagues. She is blonde and very attractive. There is nothing to suggest cheating/affair. Although the messages are quite informal, emoji's etc.

He has never given me any reasons to think that he might be cheating. He is not secretive with his phone.

I am generally anxious and tend to overthink things. Am I paranoid? Am I overthinking this? I am really struggling and can't forget what he said.

OP posts:
PTSDBarbiegirl · 10/07/2023 18:05

Sounds like you're overthinking. Maybe he avoids talking about her because she's incredibly annoying or is unpleasant. Why don't you plan something nice for the 2 of you and reconnect in some way.

AromanticSpices · 10/07/2023 18:05

I would assume it's his boss or a bossy/annoying colleague. Or he works somewhere where they play radio all day and Blondie gets played a lot.

Pearlsaminga · 10/07/2023 18:08

She is blonde and very attractive
she is 'blondie'!

MadamWhiteleigh · 10/07/2023 18:09

He said ‘no more blondie’ so that means he’d be glad to be rid of her. Doesn’t sound like an affair, sounds like she annoys him.

whatfreshheck · 10/07/2023 18:09

Sounds like he is trying to avoid "blondie" not have an affair with her. Maybe she is unpleasant or makes life difficult?

PaintedEgg · 10/07/2023 18:10

saying "no more blondie" suggests that he actually would prefer to be away from this person, even if they are cordial / friendly

and generally calling someone "blondie" is not a compliment. at best of times is dismissive

Hawkins0001 · 10/07/2023 18:13

Could be the same music over and over

Pearlsaminga · 10/07/2023 18:15

MadamWhiteleigh · 10/07/2023 18:09

He said ‘no more blondie’ so that means he’d be glad to be rid of her. Doesn’t sound like an affair, sounds like she annoys him.

Hmm, I think he was inadvertently thinking aloud, weighing up the pros & cons, ie I wont have to put up with terrible Barclays any more but that means I wont have the pleasure of gazing longingly at 'blondie'

WimpoleHat · 10/07/2023 18:26

"I would retire. No more Barcleys (company's name changed), no more blondie..."

I’d read that as “I’d be glad to be shot of my job and the irritating colleague I work with”. Not that he fancied her!

WeWereInParis · 10/07/2023 18:27

WimpoleHat · 10/07/2023 18:26

"I would retire. No more Barcleys (company's name changed), no more blondie..."

I’d read that as “I’d be glad to be shot of my job and the irritating colleague I work with”. Not that he fancied her!

I agree. Someone talking about leaving a job and saying "no more company X, no more colleague Y" doesn't sound like someone who likes the colleague.

Carpediemmakeitcount · 10/07/2023 18:30

I think you are over thinking it and it's okay to feel a little jealous now and then.

AnotherCountryMummy · 10/07/2023 18:31

Yep agreed, it sounds like he was putting "blondie" in the annoying/want to get rid category. I'd say nothing to worry about.

Weekendwanderer · 10/07/2023 18:31

Definitely having an affair.
1st line of the script
LTB

N0ëlle · 10/07/2023 18:32

If he was all saucer eyes for somebody at work, why would he want to retire though, he'd want to stay in the job. Surely?
Not saying he's not up to no good but I wouldn't interpret ''I want to retire'' as evidence of an affair!!

ElFupacabra · 10/07/2023 18:34

As PPs have said blondie isn’t a nickname usually associated with fondness, and what he said sounds like he wants to get away from them. But then why lie and say no one blonde works there, then br stupid enough to have a whatsapp with the woman open? Maybe past affair that turned sour.

cushioncovers · 10/07/2023 18:38

He wants to retire to be rid of his employer and an annoying colleague is what I would think.

NeverDropYourMooncup · 10/07/2023 18:39

ElFupacabra · 10/07/2023 18:34

As PPs have said blondie isn’t a nickname usually associated with fondness, and what he said sounds like he wants to get away from them. But then why lie and say no one blonde works there, then br stupid enough to have a whatsapp with the woman open? Maybe past affair that turned sour.

Because she quizzed him on it and then asked outright is he fucking a blonde woman at work.

Original poster
Northasiasky · 10/07/2023 18:57

Thank you for all your comments. It's very helpful to see different views.

OP posts:
Saschka · 10/07/2023 19:00

Either he is managing Debbie Harry’s investment portfolio, or he has an annoying blonde colleague he wants to be rid of. Sounds nothing like an affair.

JudgeRudy · 10/07/2023 19:01

PaintedEgg · 10/07/2023 18:10

saying "no more blondie" suggests that he actually would prefer to be away from this person, even if they are cordial / friendly

and generally calling someone "blondie" is not a compliment. at best of times is dismissive

Calling someone Blondie is dismissive? Really? If it was 'a blondie' I'd say that was neutral, if it was Debbie Harry Blondie I'd definitely take it as a compliment.

Original poster
Northasiasky · 10/07/2023 19:07

He often thinks aloud and that's how I understood it but the others who commented might be right. There might be someone annoying at work and he actually will be happy not to see them ever again.

OP posts:
QueensBees · 10/07/2023 19:11

It depends on the tone of voice surely?
You wouldn’t say ‘no more blondie’ the same way if you are relieved to not see her vs you’d miss her??

please remember that he could well still be missing her Wo him having an affair or a crush!

Rubycoola · 10/07/2023 19:17

The truth is, no amount of speculation from people who don't know you, or your husband, will help.

If it were me, with my husband, I would have a chat with him and say, I might be being ridiculous but could you put my mind at rest and explain the Blondie comment? And if he lied again and said there is no Blondie, I'd be honest and say I saw messages from her.

You may not get the truth from him but at least you're being upfront about your feelings. If he is decent (which you know or not) he will understand and try to explain and reassure. He might be annoyed re the messages but hopefully will be compassionate enough to let it go.

Or, it may open a can of worms. But a conversation needs to be had.

Daffodilwoman · 10/07/2023 19:17

If it is an annoying colleague then surely he would tell the op.
He would explain himself.
If I had an annoying colleague my dh would know about it. Even though I have never met them, dh speaks about his work colleagues.

Original poster
Northasiasky · 10/07/2023 19:18

Thank you everyone. Interesting comments about the word 'blondie'. My first thought was that you don't usually call the people you work with 'blondie'? I think it would have different if he said someone's name.

OP posts:
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