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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

DH made a strange comment. Can I have some opinions on this please?

56 replies

Northasiasky · 10/07/2023 18:00

First time posting as I have no one to talk to about this.

DH and I have been together 12 years, married, 2DCs.

We were having a lovely lunch and a few drinks a few weeks ago. My DHs birthday is coming soon and I was asking if he could do anything for his birthday what he would do? He has been very busy at work recently and jokingly said "I would retire. No more Barcleys (company's name changed), no more blondie..."

I questioned it but he suddenly changed the conversation. Our children were around so I left it.

We discussed it later that day and he said that it's just a random comment and that he was drunk. I asked if there is OW at work but he said there is no one blonde at work.

I know I shouldn't have done it but checked his messages. I found some friendly (mostly work related) messages with one of his colleagues. She is blonde and very attractive. There is nothing to suggest cheating/affair. Although the messages are quite informal, emoji's etc.

He has never given me any reasons to think that he might be cheating. He is not secretive with his phone.

I am generally anxious and tend to overthink things. Am I paranoid? Am I overthinking this? I am really struggling and can't forget what he said.

OP posts:

PaintedEgg · 10/07/2023 23:46

JudgeRudy · 10/07/2023 23:36

I don't see it that way. I worked with a guy called Fuzzy. He was well liked. My friend was often referred to as Ginge, she was well liked too. I wouldn't necessarily think of it as a term of endearment, purely a descriptor.

Show quote history

ok, I get you point...but I still don't think there is any genuine basis for concern

I understand feeling a bit on edge when partner seems a little too close to someone, but I dont think its good to look for reasons to be jealous. It sounds like this man dislikes his job and the coworkers, even if he is able to have a laugh with some

Maddy70 · 10/07/2023 23:47

You're overthinking

watcherintherye · 10/07/2023 23:49

Northasiasky · 10/07/2023 19:18

Thank you everyone. Interesting comments about the word 'blondie'. My first thought was that you don't usually call the people you work with 'blondie'? I think it would have different if he said someone's name.

‘Blondie’ could just be her nickname at work? Maybe everyone calls her that.

Greengrassoh · 10/07/2023 23:50

I think he was inadvertently thinking aloud, weighing up the pros & cons, ie I wont have to put up with terrible Barclays any more but that means I wont have the pleasure of gazing longingly at 'blondie

This. I hear the latter part in a wistful voice

Aikko · 11/07/2023 08:18

Greengrassoh · 10/07/2023 23:50

This. I hear the latter part in a wistful voice

This.

He wants out from his job in order to distance himself because he knows it's wrong.

MaryLea · 12/09/2023 14:06

I think he sounds like he wants out of an annoying job and a grating colleague. If he has never given you cause to suspect an affair I really think you're fine. You said yourself he's not secretive with his phone. Don't worry. I get it, sometimes we get intrusive thoughts, but it sounds like what your husband really wants in life is to retire and spend more time with you.

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