Incidentally, as extreme as it sounds, every affair he has raises his risk of encountering an unstable woman who could try to hurt you or your kids when things don't go her way (he doesn't leave for her) after he's fucked her and got her attached & invested. A woman tried to kill the wife of a man she was having an affair with in my local region.
Women who get into affairs with married men often tend to be vulnerable and unstable to begin with.
He's risked you in every way. 5 years of risking your health and that of your unborn kids. 9 years of risking your mental health, he hasn't stopped even after you became aware .... And finding out a out the 5 years would have been enough to damage many people's mh let alone another nearly 5 years in too of it
Your family & marriage reputation must be in tatters; people find out a out these things and gossip.
Does he spend (family) money on his affair partners?
He's lost his intimacy with you .... Also not enough to stop.
9 years of treating you like shite ..... But it's an "addiction". Well, no matter what it is, he always puts his needs and pleasure first; and is ok with shitting on you and yours.
You've also apparently been faithful during the 4 years since you wisely stopped intimacy with him, so you lose out and don't get your needs met on that front either.
Do you think this is in any way an equal or fair relationship? Everything's a out him, he gets everything he needs and wants, you get nothing you are entitled to in any decent relationship.