Hi there,
Does anyone else have issues with their MIL?
My MIL is so annoying and pessimistic, I hate being around her! She has this self importance personality and always plays the victim.
MIL is divorced and lives alone 1.5 hr away. Divorce has been over 20 years and she still harps on about it and bad mouths her ex husband.
She depends on my DH emotionally and almost expects him to care for her like a husband cares for his wife? She thinks the sun shines from my DH ass and expects him to call her every week or to visit her regularly even though he works full time.
I thought things would change when we had our LO but it’s gotten worse, she expects to stay over regularly - this was the case even 2- 3 weeks postpartum with our first child and when we explained that she couldn’t stay when the baby arrived , she threw in the waterworks. We have suggested maybe staying in a hotel nearby but she doesn’t want to. I hate the assumption that she thinks she can stay whenever she likes to.
Whenever she visits she travels via public transport despite being able to drive, so she expects to stay over / being chauffeured/ to be waited on- as if she deserves it all. She’s rude with no manners as she often forgets to say please and thank you- no coincidence that this is only with me. I’ve already told my DH about this but he also finds her annoying so his solution is to ignore everything to avoid upsetting her, otherwise he will never hear the end of it. He often ignores her in person as he has very little patience with her and makes excuses to leave the house so that I’m stuck with her. This is also to avoid him from lashing out on her.
i used to hold my tongue and just let things slide out of respect for my husband, but now that LO is here, that’s my priority.
LO still wakes up for feedings in the middle of the night and going through separation anxiety, so I’m getting up multiple times to attend to LOs needs and naturally I want minimal distraction so that LO can get back to sleep.
I should mention here that the MIL stays up until early hours of the morning watching TV in her own house, but she also thinks it’s ok to do that at my house, even with my LO around- I find this is extremely selfish and inconsiderate.
As a result, she wakes up late in the morning, so I feel like we are hanging around waiting for her before we can do stuff in the day. This is obviously difficult with LO, so a few times I’ve just taken my LO out while she sleeps in til 10-11 because I’m not waiting for her / wasting my time.
She uses my LO as a topic to engage with my DH more even though she has my number and has messaged me previously about other things. Yet when she’s here, She doesn’t post E has never once offered to help with the baby- not even one nappy change!
I have bluntly told her that it no longer suitable for us to have guests in the house while LO is so young and sleep regression etc.she has ignored my message and complained to my husband.
I don’t need this negativity in my own house and I don’t want my LO to be brought up with grandma bad mouthing granddad. If it was up to me, I wouldn’t have her around at all- Is this harsh ?