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Original poster

FWB [24m] says 'I love you' and lets his family think I'm his girlfriend

22 replies

Hufflepuff1967 · 06/07/2023 13:30

I [23F] have been seeing my fwb [24M] for a couple of months now. We try to see each other once a week and we don't always have sex when we hang out. About 2 weeks ago he sent me a text that said 'I love you'. I ignored it because I know that the relationship between us isn't very serious right now. Then he invites me to his family's 4th of July part this past week and introduces me to his whole family. They think I am his girlfriend. I want to be his girlfriend but too scared to say anything. I can't introduce him to my family because they are super strict religious people. I have been falling in love with him for a while now.

I am so confused as to what I should do. I don't want to lose what I have with him but at the same time I want more.

OP posts:
OhComeOnFFS · 06/07/2023 13:31

How is this a FWB relationship and not just the early stages of a relationship?

Elmo230885 · 06/07/2023 13:33

I thought exactly the same as the first poster. Just sounds like the first few months of a relationship.

GoodChat · 06/07/2023 13:47

Yeah you're clearly his girlfriend.
Time to have the exclusive talk.

Superdupes · 06/07/2023 14:15

This is what you want, he's made it very clear that it's what he wants - talk to him! Good communication is at the heart at every good relationship.

Thebigblueballoon · 06/07/2023 14:19

Yeah, you aren’t just his FWB benefits if he’s inviting you to meet his whole family and texting you ‘I love you’… If you like him so much, why on earth didn’t you text something back? Or why haven’t you had the exclusivity talk?

AgentJohnson · 06/07/2023 18:49

I’m confused about your confusion. I think you are both old enough to have a grown up conversation as to where your situation is heading but he shouldn’t have introduced you as his gf before checking with you. Please, please ask yourself what you want before you proceed any further with this guy. Him transitioning you to gf status before talking to you is a dick move and is a major red flag.

If you want to be his gf are you considering doing so on the down low (not letting your parents know), if so, then you need to be upfront about it.

FOJN · 06/07/2023 20:47

How are you too scared to say anything about wanting more when he has told you he loves you and introduced you to his family?

CreamTeaDelight · 07/07/2023 06:19

He clearly thinks a lot of you - a lot more than as just a FWB. Have a chat. Take it further. Remove FWB from this relationship and make it a real one. He likes you, you like him ❤️ ❤️.

Good luck!

EileenBilton · 07/07/2023 06:24

Is this one of those reddit things?

guineacup · 07/07/2023 08:12

What is it with this FWB craze? They rarely seem to work, and one party almost always seems to want end up wanting more.

Original poster
Hufflepuff1967 · 08/07/2023 06:00

because every relationship ends up with my heart being torn into itty bitty pieces besides he keeps saying we are just FWB when we are alone.

OP posts:
Coffeaddict · 08/07/2023 06:07

Hufflepuff1967 · 08/07/2023 06:00

because every relationship ends up with my heart being torn into itty bitty pieces besides he keeps saying we are just FWB when we are alone.

I would pull him up on this. When he says it say if we're just FWB why are you telling your family I'm your GF and why are you telling me that you love me?

From there clarify if this is a relationship or FWB. If he says its still just FWB then I would end ot as your just heading for more heartbreak

Original poster
Hufflepuff1967 · 08/07/2023 06:07

The reason I have no clue how to confess my feelings is because I am worried that he will be like every guy I have tried to date. Everything will be fine for a week and then I get ghosted for two weeks before being told that i am being dumped.

OP posts:
Mumdiva99 · 08/07/2023 06:14

He keeps reiterating to you that you are fwb because he confessed love to you and you didn't respond. He's protecting his heart.....

The fact is you like him. Tell him. You can't stay Fwb because your heart would get broken. So confess. (I'm sure it will go well) Deal with it and move forward.

As for your family - deal with that one step at a time. Why does them being super religious cause an issue? Is he from outside your community? -- gove your parents a chance - if they love you and want you happy, if he treats you well and is respectful, then I'm sure all will be well.

Original poster
Hufflepuff1967 · 08/07/2023 06:14

Easy for you to say that. I am a Chubby grease Monkey mechanic. He never introduced me as is gf, hus family just assumed i was his gf. No guy wants me in a serious relation ship. All of my relationships end after me being ghosted for 2 weeks after 1 week of everything being fine. I don't want to scare him off.

OP posts:
Original poster
Hufflepuff1967 · 08/07/2023 06:20
  1. I just have a mom.
  2. She wants me to marry someone who shares the same beliefs has "us" meaning they have to be Conservative Christian.
  3. Mom scares the shit out of everyone I have had her meet. Even my classmates at school don't want to hang out at my place if she is there (since I still live at home and can't exactly move out yet due to financial reasons)
OP posts:
guineacup · 08/07/2023 06:58

Hufflepuff1967 · 08/07/2023 06:07

The reason I have no clue how to confess my feelings is because I am worried that he will be like every guy I have tried to date. Everything will be fine for a week and then I get ghosted for two weeks before being told that i am being dumped.

There are many steps between being a casual FWB and professing no feelings, and professing love. It's not all or nothing as relationships develop. Could you just tell that you like him, and see how things develop between you as a couple... one step on from FWB, but a few steps away from professing undying love.

CreamTeaDelight · 08/07/2023 08:33

I’d just lay my cards on the table and tell him how you feel. If he feels the same - great! If he doesn’t - end the relationship as you’ll get hurt. Having true feelings for someone really hurts to the core when you don’t get the same back.

Your mum shouldn’t be dictating who you should date etc. I’d be saying something to her too! You’re an adult!

Original poster
Hufflepuff1967 · 08/07/2023 12:42

I want to tell him but I want to do it to in person. Problem is that it's about 3 and a half hour drivebto his place. He doesn't drive.

OP posts:
Original poster
Hufflepuff1967 · 08/07/2023 12:45

For some one who has shitbluck in the dating department sometimes havung fwb is better than having nothing. Because i live 3 and half hours from my fwb webare eitherbteasing tge hell out of each other or we just talk. I can tell him things i wouldn't tell my normal friends.

OP posts:
SoWhatEh · 08/07/2023 12:49

Hufflepuff1967 · 08/07/2023 06:20

  1. I just have a mom.
  2. She wants me to marry someone who shares the same beliefs has "us" meaning they have to be Conservative Christian.
  3. Mom scares the shit out of everyone I have had her meet. Even my classmates at school don't want to hang out at my place if she is there (since I still live at home and can't exactly move out yet due to financial reasons)

You don't have to date or marry someone your parents approve of.
You don't have to introduce him to your parents.

I'd ask him - you say you love me and you inviute me to family gatherings. Your family seem to think we are more than FWB - what do you think?

MMmomDD · 08/07/2023 13:06

Look - try to stay cool and not appear needy. Resist the need to share your feelings for now. It is possible that you so want a relationship that you appear needy and full on - and that may scare men away. Or, rather, boys. As you are all so very young and not yet experienced in more adult relationships.

It is possible he is falling for you. Just let it develop and see how it feels.

There is no rush to put definitions on anything - is there? Just enjoy it.

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