Hi all,
Partner and I have been together for 11 years, not married but are expecting our first baby. We have a joint mortgage and have agreed that once the baby is born I’ll go down to 3 days a week. I enjoy my job but want to do this and spend the time with me baby whilst she is small. We could scrape by on his salary alone but I don’t want to give up my job altogether.
I want to go back full time when she is in school, but my partner has made comments about his child ‘not being a latch key kid’. I’ve told him I won’t be a SAHM and he says he’s fine with that, but am concerned he’ll expect me to work part-time until my child is secondary school age.
Due to us not being married, I’m worried that I’m putting myself in a vulnerable position by going part-time soon. I do have some of my own savings but partner earns a high salary and has more money than me. At the moment we contribute 60/40 to everything, have a joint account for bills, mortgage, food etc but separate savings accounts. I do all the housework and cooking as we’re currently renovating our house and he’s done most of this himself.
I’ve tried to discuss my anxieties with him, but he’s blasé about it and has said that his money is ‘our money’ and I shouldn’t be concerned. I hadn’t realised how much more legal protection marriage gives you, but I’m pretty sure that doesn’t want to marry. I’ve never been bothered about the marriage thing but now I’m worried.
We have a good relationship and he’s always fine about the fact he contributes more due to his higher salary. Do I need to have a more honest conversation with him about marriage? Am I being paranoid? Thank you.