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Original poster

Checking his phone

73 replies

Biscuitz1 · 03/07/2023 02:32

I like to go through my partners phone while he is sleeping and read his messages.

It's not because I don't trust him, just because I'm nosy.

I know its an invasion of privacy.

Anyway he caught me and is now upset. Fair enough.

Does anyone else do this?

OP posts:
BreviloquentBastard · 03/07/2023 02:34

No because I'm not a twat.

Vintagecreamandcottagepie · 03/07/2023 02:37

Occasionally I do, but that's because my oh often forgets to reply to things!

He has full knowledge of this and doesn't bother him in the slightest. Wouldn't bother me him looking through mine either.

WandaWonder · 03/07/2023 02:38

In my totally fictional not a real post asking the question yes, in reality no because I am not a stalker pretending it is ok

sausage767 · 03/07/2023 02:40

No, not once in over 20 years of marriage.

Aquamarine1029 · 03/07/2023 02:51

Your behaviour is inexcusable. If he has any sense whatsoever he will leave you.

Newnamehiwhodis · 03/07/2023 02:53

No. I broke up with a boyfriend who searched my computer. It’s disrespectful and nasty behavior.

C1N1C · 03/07/2023 03:00

I've got nothing to hide, but I'd dump you in a heartbeat.

You seem so nonchalant about it too. Mega creepy actually.

And I bet you're going to say if he did the same you'd be OK with it just to excuse yourself... it's still not ok.

Original poster
Biscuitz1 · 03/07/2023 04:29

@c1n1c if he did the same, I'd feel the same as him.
I know it's wrong.
We have a healthy relationship and are very open with each other and tell eachother everything.
It's only really when i can't sleep and I'm bored.
The point of this post is to see if anyone else does it too.
We have each other pw and he'd usually ask me to reply to people for him or update his WhatsApp status.

OP posts:
RenegadeMasterx · 03/07/2023 04:33

Bit weird that you come on here and write it out like you have? Like you know it's weird but don't care? Are you ok lol?

PsychoHotSauce · 03/07/2023 04:33

You seem to think it's OK because you're "just" naturally nosy?

Believing its just a personality trait doesn't make you entitled to do this. It's so wrong.

I really hope he dumps you.

strawberryicecream6464 · 03/07/2023 04:40

No, never. We're all entitled to privacy.

MumGMT · 03/07/2023 04:51

I wouldn't do it but have definitely seen posts before from people who say they do.

Do you intend on stopping now that your partner knows and is upset over it?

Original poster
Biscuitz1 · 03/07/2023 05:02

@PsychoHotSauce I never said its ok. Literally stated I know it's wrong. The nosy statement is to point out that I'm not stalking him.

@MumGMT I will definitely stop now that I can see how upset he is over it.
I know there is no justification for it.

@RenegadeMasterx I came here as I'm curious to see if anyone else does it. I never said I don't care.

@strawberryicecream6464 honestly I don't know why I didn't respect the privacy thing before. I just thought we are so open and he'd often tell me person x messaged me this etc. But I know that is not an excuse.

OP posts:
C1N1C · 03/07/2023 05:05

Would you feel insecure if he changed his pin/password as a result?

Redglitter · 03/07/2023 05:10

Don't be surprised if he changes his password now & refuses to tell you it. Quite honestly that's the first thing I'd do if I was him

Original poster
Biscuitz1 · 03/07/2023 05:16

I wouldn't blame him if he does change his password but he won't do it as he trusts me.

If he asked me before if I snoop through his phone, I would obviously answer truthfully.

OP posts:
Original poster
Biscuitz1 · 03/07/2023 05:20

Literally have no idea why it didn't occur to me earlier that people will have messaged him things that they don't want me knowing about.

OP posts:
firsttimemum1230 · 03/07/2023 05:38

You said it so casually as if it’s normal the only time I touch my partners phone is if it rings and it’s someone I know he’ll answer too or if I need to know the time and my phone or something is no where near. He also doesn’t touch my phone. I know we’d let each other if needed but with a better purpose than snooping

DreamTheMoors · 03/07/2023 05:46

The nosy statement is to point out that I’m not stalking him.

—said the stalker

blahblahblah1654 · 03/07/2023 05:50

I hope he changes his password after this.

Original poster
Biscuitz1 · 03/07/2023 05:54

@blahblahblah1654
It's been a whole week and he hasn't changed his password. He trusts me and I trust him.

@DreamTheMoors I don't stalk him.

OP posts:
Ladybug14 · 03/07/2023 06:01

Biscuitz1 · 03/07/2023 05:54

@blahblahblah1654
It's been a whole week and he hasn't changed his password. He trusts me and I trust him.

@DreamTheMoors I don't stalk him.

You do stalk him

Reading his messages without his knowledge , is stalking

Hibiscrubbed · 03/07/2023 06:39

I wouldn't blame him if he does change his password but he won't do it as he trusts me

He’s mad. Your behaviour is so intrusive.

I am fairly private and have a strong aversion to intrusive behaviours, like finding my inlaws opening and reading my medical letters, them digging out a positive pregnancy test from the back of my cabinet in my en-suite bathroom and asking when I was due (it was from a pregnancy that I miscarried some time before), finding them in my bedroom going through my bedside drawers…

It’s absurd behaviour and I could not put up with it from a partner.

STARCATCHER22 · 03/07/2023 06:46

Biscuitz1 · 03/07/2023 05:54

@blahblahblah1654
It's been a whole week and he hasn't changed his password. He trusts me and I trust him.

@DreamTheMoors I don't stalk him.

God knows why he trusts you as you have literally shown that you can’t be trusted.

I don’t understand how you didn’t know that other people who text him might tell him things they don’t want you to know.

mummabubs · 03/07/2023 07:02

I'd politely suggest your relationship isn't all that healthy if you're knowingly disrespecting his boundaries and privacy. (and it reads as if you know it's wrong but feel compelled to do it anyway... That's not a sign of a healthy relationship!) As others have said, what he tells others (or others tell him) is private. Have I ever been tempted to look at my husband's phone? Occasionally yes. Would I ever do it? No.

You say he trusts you, but you're literally betraying his trust by repeatedly invading his privacy? I know of relationships where both partners read eachother's phones and are open and happy about it... But this isn't what you're describing at all OP.