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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Photos of colleague in bikini

59 replies

SomethinFishy · 30/06/2023 22:09

My husband went away with work for a few weeks a while ago. He backed up his photos to my drive recently and when I was looking for something else I saw a photo he had taken of his female colleague in a bikini on the beach. Not a group shot, just her posing for the photo. He, and we, were going through a difficult patch when this happened. Would you be suspicious? Or is this normal behaviour if you are away together for a few weeks at a location with a beach?

OP posts:
ferntwist · 30/06/2023 22:10

I think you know the answer. Sorry OP

ferntwist · 30/06/2023 22:11

Why were they all at the beach for a few weeks?

Kikicoconut · 30/06/2023 22:15

Yikes. There should be no pics like this on his devices. You need to have a chat with him

Callyem · 30/06/2023 22:23

Was a beach day expected/planned/mentioned? It could literally be completely innocent - she might have wanted a decent photo of herself and asked him to take one & send it to her.

determinedtomakethiswork · 30/06/2023 22:23

It's normal for a single man, but he isn't one is he? Either they are the reason your marriage has been struggling, or he has opted out of your struggling marriage.

And if there is nothing going on between them, then she would have every right to get him fired for taking photos of her like that.

Dazedandconfused10 · 30/06/2023 22:25

I have a photo on my phone of my male friend posing at the beach, wanted someone to take a photo of him. That is literally all there is to it. Sent it to him, its still there in my photos somewhere. Have never thought to search it out.

Nicecow · 30/06/2023 22:29

I don't think you need to read too much into it, likely be perfectly innocent.

WunWun · 30/06/2023 22:30

determinedtomakethiswork · 30/06/2023 22:23

It's normal for a single man, but he isn't one is he? Either they are the reason your marriage has been struggling, or he has opted out of your struggling marriage.

And if there is nothing going on between them, then she would have every right to get him fired for taking photos of her like that.

She was posing for the picture

ikno · 30/06/2023 22:33

you need to clarify if he was there with her in the moment eg they went on holiday together, or whether he got the photo virtually. Eg screenshot from her social media or her sending it to him.

determinedtomakethiswork · 30/06/2023 22:33

Nicecow · 30/06/2023 22:29

I don't think you need to read too much into it, likely be perfectly innocent.

When was the last time you took a photograph of a colleague who was virtually naked?

HScully · 30/06/2023 22:36

Could be from a WhatsApp chat. Some idiot sent a drunken naked photo of himself to our work group chat at Xmas. It saved automatically onto my phone. Try explaining that one to my parents when showing them something else...

I would be slightly suspicious, and I wouldn't say anything yet. Just keep your eyes wide open and maybe a little snoop

Callyem · 30/06/2023 22:37

Lots of women like having pics of themselves for social media or dating apps etc. He coulda just been taking one as a favour. I don't think this is an automatic cheating situation.

goingcrazy142904 · 01/07/2023 07:20

Has she has sent him it or has he's taken in?

Cas112 · 01/07/2023 07:25

She literally could have asked anyone to take a photo of her and send it to her, it's not evidence of cheating

Is there other things that make you suspicious if not then I don't really see how far you could take this

Ollifer · 01/07/2023 07:26

I can't imagine asking a married male colleague to take a picture of me posing in my bikini. It just seems bonkers to me. I'd be upset too op

justanothermanicmonday1 · 01/07/2023 07:29

Innocent or not, it's inappropriate and that's it.

I'd be really annoyed at this, and it's crossing a major line.

Have a discussion.

justanothermanicmonday1 · 01/07/2023 07:29

Ollifer · 01/07/2023 07:26

I can't imagine asking a married male colleague to take a picture of me posing in my bikini. It just seems bonkers to me. I'd be upset too op

Exactly.

My partner would be livid!

MadamWhiteleigh · 01/07/2023 07:33

It all sounds odd to me, can’t imagine being on a beach holiday with my colleagues.

Hillrunning · 01/07/2023 07:37

No sensible woman asks a male colleague to take a posed bikini photo of them. So fucking unprofessional.

IsThereAnEchoInHere · 01/07/2023 07:56

Ollifer · 01/07/2023 07:26

I can't imagine asking a married male colleague to take a picture of me posing in my bikini. It just seems bonkers to me. I'd be upset too op

I wouldn't ask anyone to take bikini picture of me, but I just don’t understand that this ’married male’ thing.
on here it often is made sound like (single, pretty) women should just cease from existence, just in case, so that they won’t upset wife/marriage.
Like if the man/husband is good, these things really shouldn’t matter (talking about this attitude now).

AngryGreasedSantaCatcus · 01/07/2023 08:12

It could be she asked him to take a pic and send it to her.

It could be that someone or several someones shared away pics on WhatsApp (pics normally save automatically into your camera roll) and that one was amongst them.

It could be that he's having an affair/crush and the photo is neither here or there really. Is he that stupid that not only would he take the pic ,but then keep it and upload it to your drive if there was something going on?

Have you talked to him about it? That's your best bet. His reaction/body language will tell you a lot.

pizzaHeart · 01/07/2023 08:40

I agree with PPs as I have a lot of random photos on my phone shared in WhatsApp groups. None of them are in bikinis on the beach due to the nature of the groups but after the summer I might get them as well.
it also depends on the circumstances of the work event, what other photos of the event he’s got. She could have asked him because he was the closest sitting or others were in the water or something else. Ask him and see how plausible it sounds.
DH and his colleagues once had a work ever at the South of France in July, naturally they went for a swim on their free afternoon and he’s got a picture of him and other colleagues in swimwear on his phone. It’s all male group though so a bit different.

SweetSakura · 01/07/2023 08:44

Hillrunning · 01/07/2023 07:37

No sensible woman asks a male colleague to take a posed bikini photo of them. So fucking unprofessional.

Agreed.

SweetSakura · 01/07/2023 08:45

Callyem · 30/06/2023 22:37

Lots of women like having pics of themselves for social media or dating apps etc. He coulda just been taking one as a favour. I don't think this is an automatic cheating situation.

It might not be automatic cheating but it is a sign these colleagues do not have appropriate professional boundaries

BounceyB · 01/07/2023 08:47

Did you know she was going to be there?