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Original poster

Photos of colleague in bikini

59 replies

SomethinFishy · 30/06/2023 22:09

My husband went away with work for a few weeks a while ago. He backed up his photos to my drive recently and when I was looking for something else I saw a photo he had taken of his female colleague in a bikini on the beach. Not a group shot, just her posing for the photo. He, and we, were going through a difficult patch when this happened. Would you be suspicious? Or is this normal behaviour if you are away together for a few weeks at a location with a beach?

OP posts:
SweetSakura · 01/07/2023 08:54

Also re the "difficult patch" we went through a difficult patch in the build up to my husband going on a work trip with colleagues. In hindsight it was his way of building up to feeling allowed to cheat with his much younger colleague...

MrsMontyD · 01/07/2023 09:42

SweetSakura · 01/07/2023 08:54

Also re the "difficult patch" we went through a difficult patch in the build up to my husband going on a work trip with colleagues. In hindsight it was his way of building up to feeling allowed to cheat with his much younger colleague...

It's part of the script, so you feel there was context to the cheating.

Ollifer · 01/07/2023 09:46

IsThereAnEchoInHere · 01/07/2023 07:56

I wouldn't ask anyone to take bikini picture of me, but I just don’t understand that this ’married male’ thing.
on here it often is made sound like (single, pretty) women should just cease from existence, just in case, so that they won’t upset wife/marriage.
Like if the man/husband is good, these things really shouldn’t matter (talking about this attitude now).

Show quote history

You honestly don't understand why you might behave different with men who are married and men who are single? I know I do! I wouldn't ever flirt with a married man or ask him to take a picture of me in a bikini but maybe that's just me. Doesn't mean i think single women should 'cease to exist' around married men

DeeCeeCherry · 01/07/2023 09:59

Inappropriate and unprofessional

bawchops · 01/07/2023 10:10

Coming from a slightly different angle. I was on a team building a few weeks ago. We flew abroad and stayed in a beach resort for 3 days. The activities were literally on the beach- dress code was swimwear for day; floaty dresses/sandals for evening.

I now have a load of photos of colleagues in swimwear, sipping cocktails around the pool.

Now I will say- after multiple kids I felt horrifically self conscious and there was not nearly enough tummy control to make me look good! I just had to take it on the chin and tell myself no one really cared 🤷‍♀️ There wrre of course a number of younger (beautiful!) ladies in bikinis, but fair play to them- a long time ago I would have looked like that! Reason I say this is that I have all shapes and sizes now on my phone. Nothing perverted, just memories from a good trip!

IsThereAnEchoInHere · 01/07/2023 10:13

Ollifer · 01/07/2023 09:46

You honestly don't understand why you might behave different with men who are married and men who are single? I know I do! I wouldn't ever flirt with a married man or ask him to take a picture of me in a bikini but maybe that's just me. Doesn't mean i think single women should 'cease to exist' around married men

Show quote history

If you actually read what I wrote, you’d seen that I wouldn’t ask anyone.

(Nor do I flirt with anyone)

But there is a really weird attitude to stay far away from ’taken’ men, so no one gets wrong ideas or is tempted or whatever.
Most be a horrible way to go through life.
I just don’t go arounf thinking anyone and everyone is ready to shag at any given moment, married/in a relatinships/single/whatever.

I treat and spend time with everyone just the same.

Ollifer · 01/07/2023 12:43

IsThereAnEchoInHere · 01/07/2023 10:13

If you actually read what I wrote, you’d seen that I wouldn’t ask anyone.

(Nor do I flirt with anyone)

But there is a really weird attitude to stay far away from ’taken’ men, so no one gets wrong ideas or is tempted or whatever.
Most be a horrible way to go through life.
I just don’t go arounf thinking anyone and everyone is ready to shag at any given moment, married/in a relatinships/single/whatever.

I treat and spend time with everyone just the same.

Show quote history

But I don't think that women should stay far away from married men at all - I just think it's inappropriate for a woman to ask a married man (and colleague at that!) To take pictures of her posing in a bikini

DixonD · 01/07/2023 13:09

determinedtomakethiswork · 30/06/2023 22:23

It's normal for a single man, but he isn't one is he? Either they are the reason your marriage has been struggling, or he has opted out of your struggling marriage.

And if there is nothing going on between them, then she would have every right to get him fired for taking photos of her like that.

A bit harsh of her seeing as she was actually, in OP’s words, “posing for the photo.” I would assume in this case she was aware the photo was being taken.

bambibrijwark · 01/07/2023 13:13

Not normal behaviour, no.

Maddy70 · 01/07/2023 13:25

I was with a group of my work colleagues yesterday on the beach. All are In bikinis and the men in swim wear. Got lots of pics of both women and men together and individually. It wouldn't occur to me that that's was inappropriate (except the ones of my hiding my massive stomach!)

Riapia · 01/07/2023 13:58

A woman, on a beach, in a bikini.
So far out of the ordinary it’s got to be suspicious.
No no decent woman would be seen wearing a bikini on a beach.
Definitely loose morals.

ToBeOrNotToBee · 01/07/2023 14:03

Could be perfectly innocent!

At one Christmas do, my phone died and asked my manager to take a photo of myself looking drop dead gorgeous.

He did.

It went straight to the cloud. I didn't and neither did he, realise his wife was sat at home and was able to see the photo album being updated in real time.

He said later he got into a lot of trouble. Oops.

Original poster
SomethinFishy · 01/07/2023 16:41

I can't find it now. Either I'm losing my mind or he's deleted it (possible, he knew I was backing stuff up). I think he took the photo, but I can't be sure. They were away working in a location that has a beach, so went there on weekends etc.

OP posts:
nopainnogain1 · 01/07/2023 16:45

The deleting of the photo says more about a guilty conscience than the photo itself I think.

RiceTodayAndEveryDay · 01/07/2023 16:47

Does your husband's name begin with D?

Freefall212 · 01/07/2023 17:01

According to this board women only dress for themselves. They wear what they want for their own self confidence and self expression and it is extremely misogynistic to say they dress in any way for attention or to be noticed. So I don't get what the issue is. No different than him taking a posed picture of her in a 3 piece suit at a conference. They are together at a beach, photos in beach wear are expected.

RiceTodayAndEveryDay · 01/07/2023 17:04

If a man wants to wank over a photo he can wank over an ugly passport picture.

SunnyLion · 01/07/2023 17:07

Completely inappropriate!
If I wanted a photo I'd give the person my phone! Not ask them to take it on theirs and send it to me. That's weird!

Ask him why he has that photo.

Ejismyf · 01/07/2023 17:10

I don't know because my cameras seriously seriously shite, my phones like 5 years old but other than the camera there's nothing wrong so not paying to upgrade it so I do sometimes ask someone with a better phone to take a pic and send me it. So, it could be innocent or it might not. Id ask him. I doubt someone who was cheating would take a pic of the person posing on the beach and leave it on their phone and aks you to download the pics.

massiveclamps · 01/07/2023 17:56

Freefall212 · 01/07/2023 17:01

According to this board women only dress for themselves. They wear what they want for their own self confidence and self expression and it is extremely misogynistic to say they dress in any way for attention or to be noticed. So I don't get what the issue is. No different than him taking a posed picture of her in a 3 piece suit at a conference. They are together at a beach, photos in beach wear are expected.

Yes, but most people would not routinely take a photo of a colleague and keep it backed up, whether the colleague was in a bikini or not. If they were away for work and this was a completely innocent photo, you would expect there to be photos of the other colleagues who were also on the trip. And the OP hasn't mentioned seeing anything like that.

IsThereAnEchoInHere · 01/07/2023 17:59

Ollifer · 01/07/2023 12:43

But I don't think that women should stay far away from married men at all - I just think it's inappropriate for a woman to ask a married man (and colleague at that!) To take pictures of her posing in a bikini

Show quote history

I guess I can’t just see the big deal.
Like the men are jerking off to much worse, their phones will be filled with much worse than some bikini lady…

And I can’t really see anything wrong with asking to take a picture (again I don’t do this) if the man is a decent man and not creeping on her.

IsThereAnEchoInHere · 01/07/2023 18:05

massiveclamps · 01/07/2023 17:56

Yes, but most people would not routinely take a photo of a colleague and keep it backed up, whether the colleague was in a bikini or not. If they were away for work and this was a completely innocent photo, you would expect there to be photos of the other colleagues who were also on the trip. And the OP hasn't mentioned seeing anything like that.

Show quote history

And if this would be the case, the problem here would be op’s partner for keeping the picture.

greenisnotserene · 01/07/2023 18:07

Are you sure she didn't want a photo of herself so he took it and sent it to her? I would do this for any of my work colleagues if they asked. With the number of photos on my phone I wouldn't even realize I hadn't deleted it.

Hibiscrubbed · 01/07/2023 19:05

nopainnogain1 · 01/07/2023 16:45

The deleting of the photo says more about a guilty conscience than the photo itself I think.

💯

I’d be fairly certain something happened.

perfectcolourfound · 01/07/2023 19:24

If he was away working with a group of people, and they went to the beach one day (and presumably he'd told you about it)...maybe that would all be fine.

Except - who puts a bikini on in front of colleagues? I'd be weirded out at work if my colleagues knew what I looked like practically naked.

And he took her photo.

I would tell him I'd seen it. And tell him I'd kept a copy (if I thought he'd deny it). And ask him why he felt the need to take that picture, and to save it.

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