How do you deal with kids dad teaching children to abuse mum?

[inthedarkx]

So my ex left me for his side piece 4 years ago. He sees kids a couple of hours on a Saturday or a Sunday (his choice)
Since forever he's constantly called me names and put me down in front of the kids, they've took it all in and every time kids were angry or didn't get their own way they abuse me with the things he's told them about me ( the lies he's said) so my 12 year old said to me 'go clean your house, you never clean your disgusting, have you seek the state of
You' and this was said all
Because I told he tiff
For Arguing with her 10
Year old sister for no reason and this is the type of stuff he says to put me down so she's copying him. Me and my 17!year old have no relationship because he used to do they to her and she's proper alienated against me.
The other day I took him to CSA because he was paying £150 a month ( private arrangement) as a gas engineer for 6 kids !! I asked him for a bit of extra help due to kids needing stuff and £150 for 6 kids a month goes no where so he shows our kids the CSA letter he got and told them I'm a gold digger and that it's my
Fault that he can't take them anywhere nice on his few hours. Told them he can't take them cinema now either for one of kids bdays because of me. Kids came home begging me to stop maintenance claim! ( they only
Know because of him)
He also threatened me to cancel as well he threatened me with court to take kids full time off me told me he would report me to social services saying I'm unstable and neglect the kids the whole lot!! Which of course are lies. He's just bought a house with the woman he left me for and a new family car For her and her kids yet threatens me !!
I've had enough,
I bought the toddler and 7 year old some new t shirts and he told the kids I can't be arsed washing clothes so that's why I bought new clothes for youngest and said I should ask his wife to help me wash our clothes instead so now the kids are anxious giving me their clothes to wash now in case I don't do it right.
He is just gonna go down each kid as they get older she alienate them against me. Even threatens to have our toddler live with his wife full time to take care of her

I'm honestly done

Hi there inthedarkx,
Hope you don't mind but we've moved this to our Relationships board where we are hopeful you might find a little more support.

@HopeMumsnet
Thanks you so much xx

So many issues to unpack here, but in a nutshell:

when they’re conflicted, kids will be awful to the one they know loves them unconditionally. That’s you.

He is battering them emotionally, by badmouthing you. Your kids think they have to do the same, to keep him ‘onside’. They love him. He’s their dad. They want him to love them back.

Say, “we are kind to each other in this house”. Rinse and repeat. Love them, raise them well. They will see things clearly in a few years time.

Don’t rise to his bait.

He is breaking the law. I suggest you seek legal advice. I have the bare minimum relationship with 1 dc and nil with 2 after years of exh fulling dc's heads with shit. Years before parental alienation was a crime.. Use that law to your advantage op.