I hate DH's hair!

[Triffid1]

I am late 40s, peri menopausal, self employed, with two pre-teen kids so I admit that sex isn't exactly high on my list at the best of times.

DH is an attractive man, very fit, dresses well etc. He went grey very early but looks good with it .

Currently, he's letting his hair get long. It's in excellent condition, has a bit of nice curl/wave to it and he keeps it clean, neat etc. I 100% believe he has every right to have his hair however he likes it. But I am (irrationally) completely repulsed by it. I really really hate it and it is turning me off him completely. I am literally fantasising about him getting it cut short - I think I'd haul him straight into the bedroom for a full on session if he did.

What do I do? I can't tell him I hate it. I can't ask him to cut it. How do I get over the "ick"?

[for the record, I've never liked long hair on men and in fact the only man with long hair I've ever so much as snogged was lovely, gorgeous, brilliant in bed... but I just couldn't get into it and after the world's shortest fling while we were all away, I had to end it.
And amusingly, I was taking a mental catalogue of friends etc recently and realised I have just one friend with properly long hair. Most have short hair or shortish hair. And thinking about it, I can honestly say that mums on school run with long hair are ones I actively avoid. I clearly have issues!]

I'm trying to picture Marcus Wareing with an alice band.

Mine likes his summer buzz cuts.

The thing is, I no longer have any say in anything hair-related since the summer when I tried to 'brighten up' his hair and accidentally dyed it ginger. He was supposed to look like Sting.

Unless your DH is Jack Grealish, I don't believe men can pull off anything resembling alice band 😂

I would speak to him nicely, but sooner the better. Longer you leave it will be just harder. I don't like facial hair on men (moustache or beard) so I have raised my opinion when a stubble starts to appear...

This made me laugh. I LOVE Marcus Wareing but have never thought he is sexy, even though he has the most beautiful eyes. Now I know why!

DH's hair is about the same length, but he has much more of it!

I like to think I'm open-minded to most looks but long hair is a hard no. DP had long hair years before he met me and I told him that if he hadn't cut it when we met I wouldn't have looked twice. To be fair he's never said he wants it long again and I wouldn't actually stop him... just not shag him until it was cut short.

Anyway I think there are ways of saying you're not into a particular look in a nice way. Make it light-hearted. Don't use the word ick.

i dont know, ive dropped a guy because he was a little too communicative about what he disliked in my appearance :P

Sorry, he wears an Alice band???

That's a huge drip feed. LTB.

🤣

Tell him. Repulsed is not the word to use, but you can tell him, once, that you are not a fan of long hair on men, that you vastly prefer him with short hair, and he is objectively more likely to get laid with short hair.

Then you're done. You can't keep picking about it, at the end of the day it's his choice, but you can state your case.

As a man, I'd much rather know that my partner found something easily changeable a turn off.

"Alice band"?

My fanny would be clanging shut and staying that way at the sight of that😬

How do people have relationships if they can't even say 'I don't like your new hairstyle. I'm not telling you to change it, just letting you know I really dislike it.'

Think it's pertinent to this post though.

It's no wonder so many relationships fail when one partner is so shallow that the length of a partner's hair gives them "the ick"

Hah me too!

’Perfect’😂

You actively avoid women on the school run with long hair? Why? That's the strangest foible I think I've ever heard.
With regards to your husband, just tell him you prefer it short.

Honestly, OP, if you have some kind of phobia about long hair to the point where you only befriend short-haired people of either sex, this might be something you need to work on…

This is what makes me think it isn't just a case of being 'shallow' like a PP said. This is clearly a much bigger issue for OP.

I agree it's really bloody weird, though.

What is it about the hair? What judgement is being made (unconsciously or consciously), Is it repulsion of the hair itself?

So many questions...

I still think I would question the alice band, though. He isn't a premier league footballer (as far as I know) and they tend to be the only ones who can pull that off - although they still look ridiculous

OP it sounds as. If you have an irrational fear of long hair that probably started with some kind of trigger - have you ever been bullied/upset by someone with long hair

@TheMurderousGoose

I think it’s quite pertinent as well, just imagine that you went for new style that you really wanted and liked and your partner said it’s awful, it’s gives me the ick and I’m not sleeping with you and I don’t want to be seen out with you,

a bit extreme I know - but how would you feel about that ?

I clearly have issues

You do. Poor DH.

I've already explained how I'd feel about that...

This is how I'd feel.

It’ll stop when the double standards stop…

Don't most women have outfits that their partner hates but they wear them anyway? I certainly do. I have one rather lovely dress that he tells me makes me look like a Victorian prison warden. Makes me laugh, and I wear it anyway!

yawn