Men that aren't kind to animals

[manyunansweredquestions]

I've seen it listed on here many times that a red flag for a man is one who isn't kind to animals. Now I understand why being unkind to animals is bad, that is obvious irrespective of sex, but I'm wondering what people's assumption is related to that behaviour? Is it presumed to suggest they're abusive to those more vulnerable than them? What if there is no suggestion of this and that it's 'just' an intolerance of animals (again I'm not trying to minimise the point)? Is it more that people wouldn't want to be with someone who doesn't like animals because they do?

I'm genuinely wanting to understand what people's main, related concern is, if there is one.

It's because cruelty of any sort to any living thing is objectionable if you are a humane thinking person with a brain and a heart.

"just' an intolerance of animals" made me feel sick, like it's trying to excuse abuse. Unforgivable.

People mean men who are cruel to animals, who hurt them or neglect them.

They don’t mean men who don’t like having a pet.

Of course there are many people who like having a pet and only want to date someone else who also likes having that kind of pet. many pet owners see their companion animal as a family member and feel they come as a package.

A small group of people believe that anyone who doesn’t like pet Is less loving or caring as a person. But I think that’s an uncommon view.

Cant you see the difference between each of these things ?

Are you just interested in a theoretical discussion or do you have concerns about someone you know ?

You honestly don't understand people's concerns about other people's abuse of animals? Ffs. These threads and posters get more desperate and ridiculous, I swear

To me this is a strange question

being unkind to animals (who are usually vulnerable and weaker) shows someone who is at the best incredibly arrogant and at the worst inhumane, cruel, potentially psychotic and evil

there is never a justification for cruelty - if people dislike animals just keep away

not exactly the kind of man you could respect or like

When me and DP (now DH) met I had three cats and a dog. He had no animals. He embraced mine, took care of them and loved them all as much as I did. I knew then that he was a keeper.

It’s one thing being indifferent, saying you wouldn’t want to be a pet owner because of the extra responsibility, and something very different being unkind to them.

For me, I’d want to be with an animal lover because I can’t imagine a life without animals in it.

I think it indicates how generally warm and open hearted a person is, and being cruel to any living creature is inexcusable.

anyone that hurts animals or children is a bad person.

I would never ever be in a relationship with anyone that either hurt or disliked animals.

I would want to have nothing to do with (apart from reporting them or frankly “having a word”) with anyone who harmed animals, male, female or anything they identified as.

Is this to do with the disgusting reports on today’s news? There’s already a thread. The person shown being arrested in the UK was a woman.

If there was an animal I didn’t like I still couldn’t be unkind to it.
If it is in someone’s nature to be unkind to an innocent animal then they are a shitty person and not one I’d want to know.

Same

There is a link between animal abuse and psychopathy, this study says and also links it with reduced attention response to a baby:

There is also evidence to suggest that animal abuse is associated with the possession of psychopathic traits; Psychopathy is characterised by attributes such as a lack of empathy and remorse, deceitful and manipulative behaviour, superficial charm and an inflated sense of self.

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7222839/#:~:text=There%20is%20also%20evidence%20to,sense%20of%20self%20%5B28%5D.

I think people need to realise I'm obviously not referring to someone who thinks it's funny to live stream putting an animal in a microwave, or something similarly abhorrently cruel and twisted.

I'm referring to someone who would get pissed off at a pet for constant destructive behaviours and verbally tells them off (rather than being empathetic to an unmet need, which is what I perceive to be the "kind" way of dealing with it).

@Whenwillitallmakesense Your assumption that I would be questioning what could possibly be wrong the former is what is, frankly, ridiculous.

Not liking animals: ok.

Attempting harm on an animal from a position of power and intelligence: that suggests he will ignore several things. The reason/provocation (if any) to hurt or intimidate. The reflex of fear, which most animals will have to some extent anyway, and which is usually very clear to understand as a human. The instinct of the animal to withdraw or run away. Could they ignore that in a child or a weaker person too, if that situation arose? Looks that way to me.

Yeah, ok OP, I'm the ridiculous one. Fair cop

Your OP specifically refers to 'men' being 'unkind' to animals and asks what correlation this might have with not finding them suitable as potential partners as they might be deemed abusive to vulnerable people or do they just have an 'intolerance' to animals. At no point did you mention verbally reprimanding pets for destructive behaviour.

Don't be backtracking on your own OP and pretending you meant something less that 'men who are abusive to animals' and the connection to men who abuse women.

Practically every single person who has replied is taking your OP as you meant it, abusive to animals, abusive to women.

Go pull one of them up and call then ridiculous

I’ve heard people saying people that don’t like dogs are a red flag which I think is ridiculous, it’s ok to dislike some animals I don’t like dogs but I would never hurt one.

Because hurting the innocent and the helpless is fucked up in the extreme.

Someone who is cruel to an animal because it doesn't align with human expectations of behaviour (not destroying furniture, piddling on carpets etc) would be a huge red flag to me. Nearly as much as someone being wantonly violent.

This is because they would not be showing any insight into the fact that they have brought the animal in as a pet to service some need in them and it is being expected to intuit the rules of a human household despite being a different species entirely. It shows a weird expectation of human dominion and anthropomorphic behaviour in an animal when it is not doing anything that a cat or dog shouldn't. Why would carpet or furniture matter to a pet? It is incumbent on the owner to train the pet adequately, not for the pet to understand what the owner will be upset by.

I hate seeing people yanking dogs' leads and shouting at them ineffectually in language they don't understand because they have committed some 'intransigence', for instance. This side of unkindness to animals shows a lack of intelligence and responsibility to me.

I think it would generally show that the person is lacking in empathy.

People can show a dislike of certain animals from previous experience. My son (18) doesn't like cats because one scratched him on his face when he was a toddler.

It doesn't mean he would ever harm a cat and I don't think this is what you're talking about.

But ... I wouldn't be interested in a man who had no consideration/respect for the animals who share our planet.

I mean, pets can be annoying at times. My cat is a bugger for scratching the sofa when he wants my attention, but I love him to bits. I might say ‘oi, stop that’ but I wouldn’t physically chastise him, deprive him of food or water or fail to take him to the vets if he was poorly or due his jabs.
You said unkind - I couldn’t tolerate anyone who was unkind.

It’s one thing being indifferent, saying you wouldn’t want to be a pet owner because of the extra responsibility, and something very different being unkind to them.

This. I don't like dogs very much, however that certainly doesn't mean I'm unkind to them! I just avoid them where possible and choose not to keep one as a pet. When I visit friends with dogs, I make a bit of a fuss of them because I know it makes my friends happy (as it does me when friends coo over my cat!). I would say my feeling towards dogs is stronger than 'indifferent', but it still never strays anywhere near 'unkind'. Unkind means purposefully causing suffering and is most certainly a red flag. You don't want someone with that kind of malice in your life.

It's in the DASH risk assessment. For a reason .

I'm a cop - it has relevance in domestic abuse situations.

I also was involved in a case where a child was killing small mammals - he went in to murder a 16 year old girl - stabbed her 20 times. No motive .

I'd steer we'll clear of anyone who didn't have empathy of any kind especially with animals . Animals are helpless- and often seen as "cute" someone who can bypass that and still hurt them is not someone you want a relationship with.

Empathy.

Serial killers always start with animals.

This exactly,no insight or emotional intelligence.I agree with everything written and wouldn't want them as a partner I would prefer the pet.

I like dogs, I have a dog and dating someone who has a dog. But if a dog was being destructive a lot of the time, I'd take issue with it. I've shouted blue murder at my dog for chewing my glasses in the past - he doesn't touch them now. Wish the same approach worked on earbuds, given half a chance , he would, and has, chewed on a few pairs. Thats not being unkind, thats discipline. Now if I'm late in the day for a walk and he starts getting destuctive, I take it I've been told a walk is required and get on with it. If there's an obvious reason then its more productive to deal with that than shout. A person who is not authorised fait with canine ways however, may not understand or miss ques the dog gives and shout at the time, which is fair enough, just enlighten them on what's up, doesn't mean they are being unkind.

I have zero time for anyone who isn’t kind to animals.