How often do your partners/fathers of your kids go out?

[randommangoandpear]

What is a typical routine and how does it go?

Do they go out to the pub with friends once a week? Twice, three times? When they do, how long do they stay out? A pint or 2 and home for dinner, or midnight and beyond?

Have you discussed boundaries regarding these things?

Rarely, he occasionally pops out to babysit his brothers kid. He went through a phase of playing sport after work once a week and came back 90 mins after his normal finish time. He’ll go out for leaving do’s, the odd stag, the end of term drinks, a big football match but nothing regular.
I’m more likely to pop for “a drink” and go straight after work staying out hours after I thought I would but home by 11ish.

@HippeePrincess thanks for the reply! how often would you say you’re out drinking after work in a typical week?

It varies, usually once a week purely for socialising, then once a week with either his cycle club or his football team. If he plays football, cycles etc, they usually go for a drink after. When he goes out for drinks with friends in the evening he gets home anywhere between 7-11pm. His football team and cycle club sometimes have socials so he goes to those, they have the odd day time social in the summer so he’ll generally go to those as well.

As often as he wants, but usually once or twice a month. Lads weekend away a few times a year

Varies but once every couple of weeks, usually out until after I am in bed. He also has about 6 weekends away each year.

No boundary discussions, just a case by case, are we doing anything on this date, lads are going out, ok if I go? I would only say no if we had a prior commitment somewhere.

A couple times of year, if that, and he only does really late every few years. As many of our friends now live abroad, he mostly chats with them online.

I had a few years in my early thirties of going out with friends weekly for a couple hours - not drinking, just chatting and games, but not really been a thing these days.

DH plays in a band, he goes to a rehearsal once a week and afterwards they go to the pub for a drink. He also meets a friend after work for a drink maybe once every couple of months. He goes on a "boys" long weekend with a group of friends once a year. Other than that, we usually socialise together.

Thanks for the replies. And on their days off, do you socialise as a family, or do they go off and do their own thing?

Lots of questions I know.

DH is a member of a fraternal organisation so will go there. Sometimes it's once a week but they've recessed for the Summer. Other than that it would tend to be occasions we're both invited to or us going out together alone, or with family.
Very occasionally, perhaps once or twice a year, he'll go out with friends to a gig. We've been married 30 years soon.

My husband and I work full time and have two young children. Our days usually go like this:
Monday- both go home for 5.30 and do bed time routine together
Tuesday- husband trains for a team sport so gets back after bedtime
Wednesday- I go for a run so he does bedtime
Thursday- we both do bedtime
Friday- every other week (roughly) he goes for a couple of drinks after work but most of the time is back before 7 so helps with bed time
Saturday: morning we take our children to sports clubs together. In the afternoons he plays a team sport
Sunday: I go for a long run in the mornings, and we do family things in the afternoon.
We both go out separately a few times a month, and we usually have date night about once a month too :)

Twice a week, sometimes more, sometimes less. He has loads of friends. He is usually back about 11pm/midnight...maybe 1/2am at the latest if he's gone into central London which takes an hour to get back from.

I'm happy with this. I like him going out. He wfh every day so I actually love having the evenings to myself and watch what I want on TV and not have to make him dinner!

Days off are spent usually catching up on chores, decorating, gardening, etc. We walk our dog together on the beach or in local woodland on those days and will stop off for a drink (usually non-alcoholic). We try not to plan too rigidly for his days off. He might pop to a friend's or they might come here. Depending on the time they sometimes open a bottle of wine. I don't drink.

It varies....we socialise together a lot but also make time for friends.

If he socialises with work people then he tends not to drink and gets home at a reasonable time. If he's out with friends it's usually a big night.

Why are you asking, what are you worrying about?
Dh goes to the pub on a Wednesday night after playing football, football at 7 and they are in the pub from when they finish. He comes home any time up until closing. He also stops off for a pint on the way home on a Thursday.
I wfh mainly but in the office on a Friday which usually spills over into evening drinks.
weekends we do a mix of family stuff together or separate stuff. We don’t have young kids anymore who have us up early so we are aren’t tired parents now, we are parents who are in a better position to pursue our own interests and socialise with our own friends (although we’ve pretty much had this loose routine since before we even had kids - however we were both out much more before!).

Maybe once a week. If he's playing a sport, sometimes at the weekend will go to the pub. But usually I get an invite to go along. When his son plays football he would go for the morning to that. But generally he doesn't really go to the pub etc.

If he does it's usually a few hours and back by latest I'd say 12 at a weekend, 9 or 10 during the week. We tend to do most things together, either with the children or without.

Pretty much never - occasionally down to his hometown for the weekend (which I encourage)to spend time with brother and friends, and with work maybe twice a year. I almost wish he’d go out more and worry that he doesn’t socialise enough , but we moved away from our hometowns and while I made friends through our children, NCT, church, school gates etc he hasn’t…still has the friends from childhood who don’t live locally. From what I’ve heard from other friends this seems to be normal for blokes! Got to look on the bright side though, I’d probably hate it if it was the other extreme and he was out till the small hours every weekend 😂. Especially as we have two small children.

Oh I forgot to add he works every other weekend and late some evenings in the week. I use that time to see friends or go to the gym. So I have no issues with him doing something for himself when he has day's off or finishes work early

Oh, and at weekends we normally do a ‘family’ activity on Sundays and Saturday I go for a run by myself - rest of time is spent ferrying kids to activities/parties, some weekends we go down to in laws etc

Me and DH have quite a good arrangement, he will go out maybe twice weekly for a curry or pub night, and also have friends over for a game. So max 3 times.

I will go out twice weekly for gym, cinema or meal/carnage with friends. Sometimes it coincides with his night with friends over so we both get to see people. Usually we will alternate Friday and Saturday nights.

DH goes away with work quite a bit but rarely goes out to socialise when he's here. I often encourage him to because I think his life shouldn't only be work and family. Friends are important too.

As a previous poster said too, I quite like him going out. He has a lot of friends and it’s good for him to unwind. I’d never want to be the kind of person who says - you can’t go out - as I’m independent too and would hate someone to say it to me.

Very rarely- we have a local micro pub and dh went there with his friend for two pints about two weeks ago , and he met his dad there about a month before that and stayed a few hours (don’t know exactly but think he was home about half 10)

Every Friday to the pubs with his brothers and sometimes other tag alongs. Sometimes I join but rarely as I can’t be arsed.
he works 6 days a week and Sunday is always family day. He’s normally back by midnight but if he Ventures to the next city it’ll be more like 1:30am with travel time but that’s rare.
he doesn’t really go away for the weekend although last year he went away to Dublin with his dad and brothers for 3 nights.

For years neither of us went out much at all but lately we’ve made an effort to do so.

We have 3 kids 8,5,1.

He’ll go out on average once a week and usually out until after I’ve gone to bed. He’s in the office once a week and often stays out after work, tonight he’s going out to see a show will be back late. He tries to go out to a hobby once a week but home before 7pm.

I go out to a hobby twice a week minimum, out for dinner or brunch on a weekend with friends maybe once a month.

That’d a good balance for us, if he was out late more often then

1. I’d get pissed off
2. I’d get lonely
3. hed be too shattered for work
4. he’d get depressed from being tired and from the alcohol (rarely gets totally pissed but still!)

Dp and I have dd who is 2. He works away 2 or 3 nights a week and usually just pops onto the pub for one drink on those nights to get some company. He’s home by 7 for a video chat with dd. He never really has a night out with friends, we sometimes go out together. If he’s working away over a weekend they will sometimes together and have a few drinks after work.