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Original poster

In love - he told me has genital warts

73 replies

Dilemma272 · 14/06/2023 14:16

So I know him for years (both in our 30s) and we were friends, but I was always into him . Now we are much closer with each other and I totally fell in love with him and he admitted he is into me too. We went on few dates and sparks fly. He is extremely kind, gentle soul. However, as the title states - he just told me yesterday that before we get intimate that he did catch genital warts caused by HPV 3/4 year ago. Got them removed and now he has them again (getting them removed again). He is happy to wait and not have sex until he is clear and obviously use protection. I am lost . I thought he could be the one, but I’m not sure what it means for our sex life and future . I know hpv is very common and it usually dissapear on its own, but what if warts developed ? Is it forever then? How can I protect myself? Can I be kissing him without fear or did I already catch it? Should I just let him go because of it😭?

OP posts:
justanothermanicmonday1 · 14/06/2023 14:30

I'd maybe speak to your doctor about the severity of it. Especially if you love him and see a future. Of course you have to make sure he wears protection at all times. It's a tough one.

Glitterb · 14/06/2023 14:33

The fact he has been honest is extremely reassuring, many people are not honest about these things. It takes a lot to tell a potential partner about stuff like this.

It’s highly unlikely unless you have been kissing his genitals that you have caught anything, but maybe have a chat with him regarding it as he will most likely know more about the risks. Or maybe do some research, if you search on here you will likely find some information

Maddy70 · 14/06/2023 14:36

He's been honest use a condom until they are removed.

It's fine honestly

cathyandclare · 14/06/2023 14:39

Have you had the HPV vaccination?

LillyoftheMountain · 14/06/2023 14:50

It would give me the ick

Hollyppp · 14/06/2023 14:55

I wouldn’t throw away the chance at possibly being with the love of my life over this. It’s not the same but loads of the U.K. has herpes (dormant) and are in relationships. People are in loving relationships with people with HIV. I think the best thing to do is speak to your doctor about what you need to do going towards to have the best possible protection and relationship together

Original poster
Dilemma272 · 14/06/2023 14:57

Didn’t have vaccination unfortunately, but been extremely sexually active in my early 20s so I bet I had it few times myself

OP posts:
CreationNat1on · 14/06/2023 14:58

You need to love him, warts and all.

HorribleNecktie · 14/06/2023 15:00

He has been honest, so I would not throw the relationship away because of this. Use condoms or (even better) refrain from sex until he has them removed.

mcmooberry · 14/06/2023 15:01

CreationNat1on · 14/06/2023 14:58

You need to love him, warts and all.

LOL!

JohnnyYenSetHimselfOnFireAgain · 14/06/2023 15:02

CreationNat1on · 14/06/2023 14:58

You need to love him, warts and all.

😂😂

cathyandclare · 14/06/2023 15:02

You could always pay for a private Gardasil vaccine- it won’t cure HPV types already in your system but it could protect against new infection with high-risk types, or getting genital warts.

Original poster
Dilemma272 · 14/06/2023 15:03

We’ve been friends so long we can handle the no sex rule until he clears up of course (gets them removed)

OP posts:
FoxtrotOscarFoxtrotOscar · 14/06/2023 15:04

CreationNat1on · 14/06/2023 14:58

You need to love him, warts and all.

🤣

caringcarer · 14/06/2023 15:08

The main thing is he has been totally honest with you. He sounds promising keeper material. So many men in his position would 'forget' to mention it.

Thisisworsethananticpated · 14/06/2023 15:08

Let him get them iced off , get some medical reassurance and crack on
good he’s honest and many people have variants of HPV

ChiefWiggumsBoy · 14/06/2023 15:11

According to the nurse who did my colposcopy, 'wart' from HPV is not really related to genital warts.

I had them at 18, had them iced off and never a reoccurrence in 22 years. They're not contagious unless there are visible warts.

I wouldn't have sex with him even with a condom until they're completely gone, because they're often in an area not completely covered by the condom. Having said that - I wouldn't dump him because of it.

ArcticSkewer · 14/06/2023 15:14

Dilemma272 · 14/06/2023 14:57

Didn’t have vaccination unfortunately, but been extremely sexually active in my early 20s so I bet I had it few times myself

Why not? Presumably you are not bothered then about hpv and the link to cervical cancer? In which case, why bothered now?

You could always get the vaccine now if you want.

Original poster
Dilemma272 · 14/06/2023 15:18

@ArcticSkewer I didn’t move to the UK until I was 25. In my country it’s not vaccine that is offered / commonly given - that’s why I never had it . Now reading on it they don’t really give it after 26 because most of us had it prior to being 26

OP posts:
ArcticSkewer · 14/06/2023 15:19

Dilemma272 · 14/06/2023 15:18

@ArcticSkewer I didn’t move to the UK until I was 25. In my country it’s not vaccine that is offered / commonly given - that’s why I never had it . Now reading on it they don’t really give it after 26 because most of us had it prior to being 26

Up to you.

They give it up to age 45 but you have to buy it.

If you're not that bothered, then you're not that bothered. So his hpv won't be a big deal.

LadyLolaRuben · 14/06/2023 15:22

He has a medical issue that he is resolving. Hes been open and upfront to protect you. I cant see any reason to end what could a promising relationship.

Campervangirl · 14/06/2023 15:26

CreationNat1on · 14/06/2023 14:58

You need to love him, warts and all.

Soooo funny 🤣
But nah, not for me, seriously give me the ick.

Cas112 · 14/06/2023 15:52

It's a lot more common than people realise. I think it's very good he has been honest with you

justanothermanicmonday1 · 14/06/2023 16:02

CreationNat1on · 14/06/2023 14:58

You need to love him, warts and all.

Ha 🤣🤣🤣

CatchYouOnTheFlippetyFlop · 14/06/2023 16:16

The people who have said it gives you the ick - why?

He's probably stupidly had unprotected sex. Maybe with a partner who had caught them previously from someone else. Nobody sets out to catch an STI.

Seems harsh to cut someone off because of it. Especially if they have been very honest.