Sick of 'hyper-logical' DP

[drowninginlogic]

Been with DP for 2 years, moved in together 5 months ago. DP describes himself as 'hyper-logical' ALL THE TIME.

He either takes things too seriously and gets angry, or as a complete joke and complains that you're too uptight. His default method of dealing with arguments is to give everyone the cold shoulder because he 'doesn't do drama'. He makes gross, ridiculous comments like 'I don't understand how anyone can be depressed you can just take meds and you'll be fine, it's not hard' or when our mutual friend talked about her ED he commented to me privately about her 'just eat a burger and then exercise it's stupid how grown adults care about this frivolous stuff'.

Just some examples. I actually don't see him as 'hyper-logical' per se but emotionally immature but that's just one way to start a major row.

I don't know if the honeymoon period is over and I'm seeing everything I've previously glossed over or if it's the fact that we both work from home so I'm exposed to this 24/7 but I'm sick of it. He wasn't even this way before we moved in together but maybe I missed the signs? Sadly, we've tied ourselves together financially with this house (the kitchen is still being renovated ffs!!) so it's a bit more complicated than just leaving.

He’s not hyper logical, he’s an arsehole. As I suspect you know.

This will only get worse! I would cut my losses if I was you. He will soon turn on you when you are pregnant/sick/bereaved etc

It takes about 18 months for the shine to wear off. You don't have to stay.

You're being hyper illogical, delaying leaving him because of a half renovated kitchen. Save yourself, stuff the kitchen

He's not hyper-logical, he's simpleminded and immature.

Call it a day now or wait for his behaviour to give you the ick, because it will, and then dump him. You are not a match made in heaven.

I wouldn’t like it either. He seems to be greatly lacking in empathy and compassion.

I can't afford to buy him out or vice versa. Selling will take a while (presumably) so it's a right fucking mess. Was so excited to finally not rent and then this.

I'm sorry, he sounds like a twat. However difficult it is to sell your property, and end this, it'll be worth it for your mental state!

Not really seeing where logic comes into it. You’ve seen the true side of him. It’s up to you how long you take to respond to that.

Count yourself lucky that you have noticed the signs and make sure you take action. Don't go looking back on this in 10 yrs time thinking I knew he was a dickhead and should have sorted this situation when life was much simpler.

You just sell the house and move on (mid renovation if you feel like it). Don't go getting married or having children though.

You're gonna have to just bite the bullet. Imagine having a baby with him? "Well, logically, it is bedtime, so put the baby down, and they must sleep."

My DH is like this. He sees himself as being very logical, as if it's a good character trait, but I see it as lacking empathy. For example, he doesn't understand why people get upset when loved ones die because, when this happened to him, he told himself that logically the loved one's energy is still here, they're just not here in body, so they're not really gone. Apparently that's all it takes. He doesn't understand why people get upset, mourn and grieve because he didn't. I just point out to him that he needs to accept people are different in their views and how they deal with things. It does get very trying, especially if you're the one wanting compassion but all you get is hard 'logic'.

He’s just plain nasty, and actually quite stupid. It isn’t logical thinking because he’s ignoring any information that doesn’t suit his nasty narrative.

I know it might be tricky to separate but do it anyway. Be glad you’ve seen his true colours now, sooner rather than later. I don’t know if you were planning to have children with him, but think what an absolutely horrible father he would be, and how he would treat you if you were ill or vulnerable. He will be abusive. He is abusive now with his sulking and temper tantrums

Honestly OP, leave sooner rather than later. He sounds horrible and just reading about his behaviour makes me shudder - it will grind you down more and more and as much as you're sick of it now, you're most likely going to end up being completely repulsed by him.

Do what you can to get the kitchen tidied up and useable. Get an agent in asap.
Then sell and get out of this joyless relationship. Who needs it. It must be sucking the life out of you.

My kid would say some of those things and also say "logic" but she is diagnosed Autistic and as we found out early enough we are trying to make her understand it's not that logic...

your DH? should know better as an adult...

please OP do not have children with this man!

Do not get pregnant by him.

He s a spoilt, man child, it ll take him a lifetime to cop on.

I agree OP that this isn’t logic but he is desperately lacking in emotional maturity….it sounds like he is either unwilling or unable to accept that others feel/act differently to himself.

Do whatever it takes to get out, this man isn’t capable of a healthy loving relationship!

He's a moron.

Don't compound your mistakes by getting pregnant.

You need to start planning to get out or sell.

Why are you with this twat, exactly? He thinks undermining other people is clever. He's an arsehole.

He sounds like an idiot. Better off moving out now before it gets worse.

This ^ - please take steps to leave OP.

Yeah he isn't logical at all, let alone 'hyper-logical'.

He's rude. Ignorant. Imature. Un self-aware.

You can sell a house with a half-done kitchen.

Hyper logical? If he had just common sense he would understand the basics of depression and eating disorders. Doctors understand those things, I suppose he thinks medical professionals are idiots?
Sounds like he's arrogant, opinionated and unable to think outside of the black and white. His attitudes are incredibly old fashioned actually, which shows an inability to adapt to new information.

He's a moron op don't have a child with this man he will always be right and your beliefs and parenting methods will always be wrong...

It sounds as if he thinks in very black and white terms. Why is this? Is he too stupid to handle more complex thought? Is he emotionally damaged in some way? Does he struggle with empathy? Is he cognitively incapable of understanding other perspectives on the world? Is he a raging grandiose egotist who thinks ordinary human feelings are beneath him? Is he nasty - does he just enjoy invalidating peoples feelings?

You should probably point out to logic-boy the evolutionary importance of human emotion and connection. If humans did not care for each other and show empathy, we would not survive as a species, we would not have been able to work together and build civilisations. No individual can succeed, or even survive without other humans. Paying attention to emotions is one of the most logical things a person can do.