Sick of 'hyper-logical' DP

[drowninginlogic]

Been with DP for 2 years, moved in together 5 months ago. DP describes himself as 'hyper-logical' ALL THE TIME.

He either takes things too seriously and gets angry, or as a complete joke and complains that you're too uptight. His default method of dealing with arguments is to give everyone the cold shoulder because he 'doesn't do drama'. He makes gross, ridiculous comments like 'I don't understand how anyone can be depressed you can just take meds and you'll be fine, it's not hard' or when our mutual friend talked about her ED he commented to me privately about her 'just eat a burger and then exercise it's stupid how grown adults care about this frivolous stuff'.

Just some examples. I actually don't see him as 'hyper-logical' per se but emotionally immature but that's just one way to start a major row.

I don't know if the honeymoon period is over and I'm seeing everything I've previously glossed over or if it's the fact that we both work from home so I'm exposed to this 24/7 but I'm sick of it. He wasn't even this way before we moved in together but maybe I missed the signs? Sadly, we've tied ourselves together financially with this house (the kitchen is still being renovated ffs!!) so it's a bit more complicated than just leaving.

I'm going to just point out that being together 24 / 7 must be a terrible strain on the relationship. Is thereany way you can each do 2 days somewhere else ?

Definite lack of empathy but also screams massive narcissist with his superiority

He sounds like he’s got some form of mild learning disability or developmental disorder.

He needs to be made to understand that he needs to hold his tongue and learn and read about a topic before making ignorant ill-informed statements.

Also suggest he looks up what logic actually means in advanced literature.

I had one of these. You can't fix them. Other than a momentary panic about what I was going to tell people, I've never regretted leaving. He wasn't mean about people, but the constant smug mansplaining about why he was right was so infuriating. I wouldn't have minded if he'd actually been right, but his "logic" was always misapplied and a case of "garbage in, garbage out". So I was "wrong" for not liking a certain sex act that all women liked, according to some study he found online. All women like X, I'm a woman, therefore I'm incorrect in thinking I don't like X. Only the (irrelevant and probably spurious) "facts", and his uniquely "logical" interpretation of them, were legitimate to him, not my or anyone's subjective opinion or preference. He didn't have any subjective opinions or preferenced of course, too "logical" for that!

My exh likes to call himself logical. This thread has grimly amused me, as I reflect on all his bravado bullshit over the years. He wasn't ever logical, he was just an arsehole.

He sounds like such an arsehole just from your OP. Cut your losses.

With a bit of luck, she cut her losses months ago.

I hadn't noticed the original date! Oops.

Ugh, he sounds awful. I’d start working on your way out in a logical (haha) manner. Do you need to wait a bit to finish the kitchen? Can you get out of the mortgage? Could you afford a room in a shared house for a bit if things got tricky before the house can be sold? Can you buy him out?

I’m really wary of men who go on about being logical let alone “hyper-logical”. It generally translates to them interpreting their emotions as “logic” and wanting the world (you) to revolve around their “logic” (emotions).

Yep. Sounds like the honeymoon phase is over and your rose-tinted glasses have been ripped off. He's let his guard down now he thinks he's sorted with "wife" and house and you're now seeing his true colours.

I can imagine it now - when you're giving birth ... "how hard can it be. women have been having babies for millions of years. stop being so dramatic".

On the other hand, maybe he has changed? He thinks this is how "the man about the house" is supposed to behave? All knowledgeable and problem-solving? Are you able to talk to him about it or doesn't he "do" talking feelings?