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Original poster

He’s married, why is he asking me about my life?

66 replies

Iammeltin · 11/06/2023 08:17

Hello,

I worked with a guy and we were good friends. We went our separate ways but periodically kept in contact with him flirting etc. He got married and cut contact with me. He did tell friends mutual friends “i was the one who got away” and anyone who ends up with me is a lucky. He never told me himself. Anyway I’m married too now.

He’s now reached out 8 years later, he’s married and with child too.
However he’s asking me;
How long have you been married?
What does your husband do?
How old is your child?
What do you do? - (said he’s really happy for me that my career has took off)
really impressed with my outlook in life

Is this weird or normal? I’m not sure what he’s getting out of knowing this and find it abit strange and uncomfortable?

OP posts:
NothingbutaHounddog666 · 11/06/2023 08:23

Pretty obvious he's striking up dialogue with only one thing in mind!

UsethisUsername · 11/06/2023 08:25

It’s totally normal behaviour from a man seeking an affair.

IsThereAnEchoInHere · 11/06/2023 09:17

If pp’s are right, then damn!
His marital bliss didn’t last long!

Frogmila · 11/06/2023 09:21

I'd assume he's sniffing around, maybe just gratification maybe looking for an affair. Nothing he asks is odd in isolation but it all seems a bit longing and wistful coupled with what you know he's said. I'd ignore. He did the same when prioritising his marriage so you don't need to worry about his feelings.

WheelsUp · 11/06/2023 09:22

He's obviously hoping that you'll shag him.

Crikeyalmighty · 11/06/2023 09:25

He's reached the 7 year itch!

TheoTheopolis23 · 11/06/2023 12:07

Crikeyalmighty · 11/06/2023 09:25

He's reached the 7 year itch!

That's exactly what I was going to say.

Plus he didn't try all that hard to date you, for you to be the one that got away.

Birthdayboy · 11/06/2023 12:12

I would cut ties personally, especially if I'm married and know the other person has a thing for me. It would be difficult to ever have a 'friendship' again with him because he's obviously got stronger feelings than that.

He's definitely got the 7 year itch.

MurderIsEasy · 11/06/2023 12:12

Everyone always assumes that an ex getting in contact means they are looking for an affair. It could be that, sure. But I've both reached out to exes and had them reach out and neither wanted an affair. If it makes you uncomfortable don't respond by all means, but it doesn't always mean an affair.

Original poster
Iammeltin · 11/06/2023 17:02

Okay thank you everyone. It’s not really id ask straight away if I reconnected so I wasn’t sure if I was looking into. Maybe it’s nothing.

OP posts:
middleager · 11/06/2023 20:03

In my experience, men reach out like this when they want an affair.
Don't go there, OP.

Original poster
Iammeltin · 11/06/2023 20:19

Well he’s gone cold turkey, hasn’t read my message today etc. Don’t know what he expected my answers to be…

OP posts:
SunflowerTed · 11/06/2023 20:41

Iammeltin · 11/06/2023 08:17

Hello,

I worked with a guy and we were good friends. We went our separate ways but periodically kept in contact with him flirting etc. He got married and cut contact with me. He did tell friends mutual friends “i was the one who got away” and anyone who ends up with me is a lucky. He never told me himself. Anyway I’m married too now.

He’s now reached out 8 years later, he’s married and with child too.
However he’s asking me;
How long have you been married?
What does your husband do?
How old is your child?
What do you do? - (said he’s really happy for me that my career has took off)
really impressed with my outlook in life

Is this weird or normal? I’m not sure what he’s getting out of knowing this and find it abit strange and uncomfortable?

Just block?

ProfessorXtra · 11/06/2023 20:44

It doesn’t really matter about his intentions. It’s clearly making you uncomfortable so block him.

Didimum · 11/06/2023 20:50

Why are you answering him?

Original poster
Iammeltin · 11/06/2023 20:53

I answered him because we were good mates and it was nice to hear from him. We never dated, kissed or anything so there was not much history apart from the things he said about me. Why would I not talk to him?

OP posts:
Original poster
Iammeltin · 11/06/2023 20:55

Now I feel stupid as I answered all this questions even though I was steering the conversation towards “how’s life? What you up to?” But he just seemed to want answers the my OP which makes the whole thing bizarre…

OP posts:
Original poster
Iammeltin · 11/06/2023 20:55

My message is full of typos! Sorry!

OP posts:
ProfessorXtra · 11/06/2023 20:58

Iammeltin · 11/06/2023 20:53

I answered him because we were good mates and it was nice to hear from him. We never dated, kissed or anything so there was not much history apart from the things he said about me. Why would I not talk to him?

But at the point he started making you feel something was off, you could have cut contact or told him outright he was making you uncomfortable.

But you are here, a bit miffed that you messaged him and he hasn’t replied.

I don’t understand m, why at this point, you are entertaining him. Especially, since you believe he calls you the one that got away.

Original poster
Iammeltin · 11/06/2023 21:02

ProfessorXtra · 11/06/2023 20:58

But at the point he started making you feel something was off, you could have cut contact or told him outright he was making you uncomfortable.

But you are here, a bit miffed that you messaged him and he hasn’t replied.

I don’t understand m, why at this point, you are entertaining him. Especially, since you believe he calls you the one that got away.

Show quote history

I wasn’t sure if I was reading too much into it hence the thread.
I am a-bit miffed because I answered all his questions but has ignored mine! Makes me feel like a fool!

OP posts:
Ilovebountybars · 11/06/2023 21:08

Block him. It sounds like he wants an affair.

WonkyPicture · 11/06/2023 21:20

My husband cheated after we'd been together 7 years. He was happy with me but he was going through a hard time and looked for a distraction. If it's not you, it'll be someone else. Do not be flattered by his attention.

LillyoftheMountain · 11/06/2023 21:27

You sound naive.

joelmillersbackpack · 11/06/2023 21:30

He’s sniffing about to see if you’re available for a fling. He’s probably bored with his life currently. Dont be flattered by the ‘one that got away’, if he wanted to date you at the time he would have made a move and it sounds like he did not.

MidnightMeltdown · 11/06/2023 21:35

It doesn't sound like he's said or done anything out of line to me. These are perfectly normal questions that I would ask a friend that I hadn't seen in a long time.

You said that you were good friends so I think that it would be pretty weird and harsh to block or ignore. This isn't the 1920s, plenty of people have friends of both genders.

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